As Christmas approaches and the final chaotic rush for gift selection of one or more of the countless primarily unnecessary items (soon to be obsolete or out of fashion) occurs, my thoughts turn inward. I’ve been contemplating the meaning of gift-giving and, as a final admonition, the concept of gift certificates as a substitute for innovative thinking of what the recipient of my gift would be pleased with.

To begin with, my concept of giving or receipt of a gift begins and ends with “surprise!” An item you didn’t ask for, didn’t expect and maybe didn’t even know existed. An item that shows that the person giving the gift gave conscious thought to your personality, interests, and dreams. Next, it should be something for which monetary value is immaterial. It could cost $1,000 or $1 or better yet, be hand-made by the giver. Finally, it should depict the value of the love and friendship between the giver and the receiver.

As the custom of gift-giving at Christmas has its foundation in the ancient legend of the three wise men who brought gifts to Christ (or maybe to his parents) on the event of his birth, each had a prophetic meaning above their monetary value — gold as a symbol of kingship on earth, frankincense (an incense) as a symbol of priestship, and myrrh (an embalming oil) symbolizing suffering. Today’s gift-giving is far from that. Primarily it appears to be based on only two criteria: First, of being on a list that someone has provided and, second, the cost is a primary factor, the higher the cost, the greater the showing of affection.

Today’s society, even my wife, kids and grandkids, call me a miserly old-fart who sounds more like Scrooge than like Santa. In the eyes of today’s society, that may be so. Yet, I can only look back to my childhood to determine how my current thoughts were formed.

I was an only-child in a small close-knit family where Christmas was traditionally celebrated in our home. There, my parents, two grand-parents, and aunt and uncle and two adult cousins gathered on Christmas eve, talking and lauughing. As there was no such thing as television at that time and advertising of children’s toys was very meager (these were the years during and following WWII when money was scarce but resources were even scarcer) my list to Santa was normally comprised of things that really didn’t exist but that I thought would be fun (in one letter my mother saved have I asked for “toy cigarettes, matches and an ashtray.”) Of course, I never got any of these therefore Christmas morning was a complete surprise, all of the gifts from Santa were things I’d never envisioned. One memorable Christmas I received an unexpected, but very plain bicycle (that I learned in later years my grandfather had acquired as a bonus for selling newspaper subscriptions).

Today, what appears under the tree for my grandchildren are the items that have been imprinted into their heads as “essential to happiness” through the television advertising processes. All these things they’ve already seen in the stores and/or played with at the homes of friends. They know exactly how they work, what their capabilities are, and since they know all about them, grow bored with them after a short time. Not like my first Erector Set or Lincoln Logs that I’d never even known to exist before Santa put them under the tree. And, each is only supplied with a basic number of functions so that to maintain interest, new accessories that must be added in the future, bringing in continuous revenue for the manufacturers. However, in time…a very short time, these too, become obsolete and are relegated to the garage, the Good Will, or the trash bin, unlike my Erector Set that I didn’t quit constructing things with until in my mid-teen years.

Today we’ve all bought into the process…demand and price. What one has requested and how much it costs are the primary criteria of the perceived value of a gift. What happened? How did we get into this highly commercialized, but thoughtless process? Well, from my perspective there are several reasons.

First, (and I myself am as much to blame as anyone) those of my generation and the post-war generation where resources were scarce, wanted their children to have the things they believed they missed (and that we saw on television). My wife, coming from a mill-worker’s home with four children and where money was always scarce, got one gift at Christmas. I’m not sure she ever got a bicycle. Therefore, it was our desire to make Christmas awesome for our kids. Since they were the first in both families, the Christmas tree was often hidden beneath the pile of presents. And, in turn, when our children had their own families, they wanted no less for their children and the piles of presents grew.

Second is television. I believe television has been both a blessing and a curse to society, and I’m not certain which has been the winner. The curse being that the indiscriminate (and often grossly misleading) advertising lures us into thinking that luxuries, especially those touting instant gratification, are essential to life. This is especially true of advertising of children’s toys, primarily the electronics and other gimmicks. Last week’s The Office realistically depicted parents buying fantasy dolls at 10 to 20 times their retail value because television had captured their kids into believing that Christmas would be a failure if they didn’t receive one. This is factual, not fantasy (remember the Cabbage Patch dolls or the Tickle Me Elmos?)

Third -- and most of this also relates back to television and advertising -- is fashion. Here, advertising is the primary element that creates demand. This is especially rampant in teen-agers who, in wanting to belong, are led to believe they can’t without certain attire or items. Usually these items are absolutely non-functional and are manufactured, not for sustainability, but for a short life to have to be replaced by another. As an example, it’s not “cool” to wear anything but designer jeans. Recently my wife priced a pair of these for our grandchild and the price was $70. The photo of them in the ad had a close-up of the HOLE IN THE KNEE…that’s what makes them “cool.” Being an “old fart” I buy my jeans at a warehouse store paying $13 for them. They are sturdy, of heavier material, and last longer than designer jeans but they are definitely not “cool” (and my wife throws them out if the et a hole in the knee). To some degree I understand fashion (I was a teenager once myself) but what I don’t understand is how we, as rational adults, have let ourselves and our children become completely trapped by the advertising world. Both the designer jeans and my jeans are made in China or India. There is little to indicate that either costs significantly more to manufacture, mine being of heavier cloth and the designer jeans having to have the hole put in the knee. So where does the price discrepancy come in? Why, it’s to the importers who can make a 1,000% profit over a 100% profit. And we accept this? Shame on us!

So now I’ll conclude with my initial reason for writing this…gift certificates. To my way of thinking, giving these are contrary to all aspects and reasons for gift-giving. My personal philosophy of gift giving can be defined in one word…love. My desire to give someone a gift is because I love that person and want to express that love by giving something of myself. The gift may be whimsical, it may be useful, it may be short-lived or eternal. It could be expensive or it could cost nothing but it is something I believe the person will like and will understand that I give it to them through love. A gift-certificate has none of these attributes…it is a piece of thoughtless paper of only monetary value.

So, this Christmas, if you get a gift from me there will be some thought connected with it plus a lot of love. What you requested and how much it costs will not be part of the equation. Please consider that if you give me something because that’s the way I want Christmas to be.