Reasonably Educated Bumpkins

Orland is famous for one thing.

(Photo by Cheryl McCoy)

No, not this, but good guess.

Um, nope . . . not yet, any way, but thanks fer thinkin' of me.

No, because of the Farm Sanctuary, Orland is famous for one thing these days: Our town is the west coast host of the "Celebration FOR the Turkeys," the weekend before Thanksgiving.

I know.

Banish all thoughts of smoked, roasted, barbecued, deep-fried, or even wokked turkeys. No, at the Farm Sanctuary, the turkey is KING!*

Over the last 20 years real live reporters from major networks have actually come TO ORLAND to file puff pieces about the Farm Sanctuary (one of only two Farm Sanctuary locations; the other is in upstate New York)! I'll let that sink in. Reporters. Orland. Televised news.

Part of the Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey project -- just $20 supports a turkey, and gets you a glossy photo of your bird (plus, one imagines, cards and letters and report cards and maybe even little turkey drawings from your turkey throughout the year) -- the Celebration FOR the Turkeys offers guests a real vegan farm experience. According to their web site, for $30 guests are treated to a catered vegan holiday dinner, a meet-and-greet with turkeys and other rescued animals, and the famous Feeding of the Turkeys ceremony, in which the fowl are given all of the non-flesh Thanksgiving foods that kids usually stuff into their napkins.

Do I sound sarcastic? I don't mean to. Well, maybe a little. I'm really not, though. Ask my dad -- I'm the world's biggest softie, and if I were to raise turkeys or chickens or pigs for meat, not ONE would be killed, and I'd go broke supporting them, even though I think they're incredibly tasty and buy lots at the grocery store. I don't like zoos because I don't like to see animals caged, and I will not own any animal that has to live in a cage, because I think it's unnatural and cruel. I was never in FFA (Future Farmers of America) even though we had the perfect set-up here on the dairy, and the reason I raised only ornamental chickens for 4-H projects was because I couldn't bear to raise an animal that I'd blithely send off to the butcher in May, for a tidy profit. I have no moral objection to someone ELSE killing animals for me to gobble up, however.

I know; I'm a mess.

So here's to the Farm Sanctuary people, and all of the B-list celebrities who lend their names to the cause. You are good, noble people (if a bit loopy). You're probably on the right path, and it's a moral cause (they do so much more for animal cruelty issues than I have mentioned; check out their web site). But I didn't pay $30 for a meatless meal this year, and I probably never will. I wish you a happy Thanksgiving, and a happy Thanksgiving to those brainless birds you shelter, as well.

*not turkey a la king

This, apparently, is Gideon the turkey, from the Orland Farm Sanctuary. I'll bet he's still full from Saturday's gut buster.

(Photo stolen from 4bananafish on Flickr)