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| Sustainability At The Core of Chico University By Laura Kleinlittle- Commission Impossible Staff Writer Article Launched: 09/28/2007 12:07:02 AM PDT There are a lot of sustainable activities going on at the University of Chico. Recently I was able to catch up with Legthario Longbottom, who holds the position as the Sustainability Overlord. Legthario feels that while sustainability is a popular "buzz-word" it's much more than that to the university. It's also a marketing concept. "We're moving the entire university onto a sustainable practices footing." Longbottom stated, "We're looking for ways to achieve sustainable increases in student population, and sustainable raises for faculty. In fact we'd like to be able to sustainably build larger buildings, sustainably". Legthario stated that the by the end of 2007 the university would have a 0 carbon footprint. "We've found some unique technologies to allow us to reduce the carbon footprint the university is responsible for." He powered up his Mac and began explaining "You see, we take an overhead photo of the university, and we draw a boundary around it using something called a "computer program". Then we ignore any carbon impacts our growth has outside of the boundary. Another thing we're experimenting with is adjusting the boundary based on the day of the week. If we shrink our carbon footprint area to only include the Rose Garden on weekdays, that cuts our green-house gas emissions greatly." These and other technological advances are helping make the university more green every day. But at the heart of this movement is what Longbottom calls the Sustainable Explainable Yardstick movement (or SExY). "If you don't know how sustainable you are, and can't use that to appear better than other people. At that point it's not much good to anyone is it?" questioned Legthario. It was because of SExY that the university decided to implement its next big move on the green scene. Students will now be graded on how sustainable their lifestyle is. Longbottom explained, "We're trying to go away from things like academics and workplace training. We really want to expand our community role in influencing local elections, and give our students incentive to live the way we tell them to. Our hope is that bright, sustainable, young people will leave here with straight A's. Next year students can expect to receive demerits for driving, producing trash, and not turning in homework on double sided paper. The use of computers is also being forbidden. Computers use energy even when not actively used. University students will begin using chalk and small blackboards which make little use of wood and petroleum products. It's no longer about increased productivity for students, it's about sitting extremely still so as to use the fewest resources. When asked if faculty would adhere to new living standards Legthario replied "Well, some might, but most of us professors have kids and places where we have to be. How could my wife shop at Trader Joe's and get the kids to their equestrian classes without the Lexus SUV? The intrinsic value of our profession requires that we use more resources than others, most people can agree on that." At that point the interview abruptly ended as Legthario Longbottom wandered off muttering the word "sustainable" over-and-over again. But it's clear that big changes are coming to higher education. It may take years to update every plan and policy guide to include the word sustainable. But if that's what it takes to use the word sustainable in relation to everything the university does, people like Legthario Longbottom will be there to get the job done. Satire Alert.... I think... |
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CI Challenge: Can you guess what it is? Winner: Anthony Watts, see comments below for the answer. |
Sustainability At The Core of Chico University
7 Comments
Lon
About Me: Fasten your seatbelts for an exhilarating trip through Chico's public policy; I guarantee it's marginally better than public access TV.
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Thanks, Laura, for this great piece of journalism and a welcome break from things like City Council meetings and budgets and all that tripe we get from Lon every day. I can still see, however, Lon's influence in today's Challenge: more militaristic flying machine gadgets. Perhaps this is one of their new sustainable helicopters. I heard the military is trying to go green with new, eco-friendly methods of killing people. It's really great to see environmentalism going mainstream.
Tempra,
Thank you for your kind words. Historically the Army lays claim to being the first and most green of public institutions. Hence the adoption of the moniker "Mean Green Machine".
In some of my research I've found that they're moving away from a policy of inflicting non-lethal casualties. Non-lethal injuries require the opponent to use additional petroleum resources to evacuate and care for the injured. So they really do seem to be concentrating on the "greenest" means of doing their particular job.
Laura Kleinlittle.
The Jolly Green Giant Helicopter
http://www.rotorhead.org/military/hh3e.asp
Anthony,
Yes, that is the HH3 Jolly Green Giant. Like one of our local institutions it's jolly, green, and giant.
Lon
Laura,
Nice satire, but by focusing on the campus you missed the carbonation sequestration projects underway in the student nieghborhoods.
Mark
Mark,
I would like to pass on from Lon his deepest and most heartfelt gratitude for posting a comment.
The university has long been studying student driven carbonation sequestration. This first began in the 1990's when the universtiy began working with Keystone Beer Products, Inc. Keystone's specially lined cans are designed to absorb atmospheric carbon components. These experiments continue and are most notable by large numbers of beer cans left overnight on porches or front yards where they continue collecting carbon for days on end.
An issue that has surfaced is the immense methane production that follows the carbonation sequestration. Small methane capturing devices are being experimented with in the form of rubber underpants. If successful each student involved in carbonation sequestration will soon become a small mobile methane power plant.
Laura Kleinlittle
Yes, methane is a concern. The roadblock to the solution you propose has always been the siting of a transfer station. Nieghbors are understandably concerned about the possiblility accidents or an inadvertant release.