« Helping The Little Guy | Main | Service Stations »
December 11, 2007
Logan's Run Amok
 |
| Photo: Image of squirrel Jedi lightsaber fight in
Bidwell Park. This has nothing to do with this post, but was something
I thought everyone should see. I'm hearing more often about causes and effects of global warming that are no longer bounded by reality or common sense. It may be that the press (national/international) are now playing an unintentional game of one-ups-manship. The self-loathing of some humans seems to have reached new heights, at least as far as what is being considered newsworthy. For me, the most recent example is a story out of Australia where... Professor Walters, clinical associate professor of obstetric medicine at the University of Western Australia and the King Edward Memorial Hospital in Perth, called for condoms and "greenhouse-friendly" services such as sterilisation procedures to earn carbon credits. " Every newborn baby in Australia represents a potent source of greenhouse gas emissions for an average of 80 years, not simply by breathing but by the profligate consumption of resources typical of our society," he wrote. " Far from showering financial booty on new mothers and rewarding greenhouse-unfriendly behaviour, a 'baby levy' in the form of a carbon tax should apply, in line with the 'polluter pays' principle." See the entire story here. It seems like there is a valid argument regarding the cost of children to our fellow citizens who do not procreate. There are probably dozens of ways to implement taxation policies that change peoples behavior. You could provide tax credits for people who breath less deeply and therefore create less CO2. Taxing cattle ranchers would limit methane producing livestock, and taxing grain growers would make it harder for people to afford livestock, and for people to afford food for children. You could also give a tax break to people that employ children in dangerous jobs, like being a roofer. Which brings me to my next story. This story comes out of the U.K. Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy. But the very thought makes her shudder with horror. Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet. Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time. (See the entire story here) I suppose Ms. Vernelli is Egyptian, otherwise why would a kid call her "mummy"? Bad joke, sorry. The philosophies presented in these stories lead to a series of logical "next steps" that are interesting to consider. We would have to assume that having children, who grow to be adults, threatens life on earth due to consumption and pollution. In addition to taxing and aborting children we might support embarking on other methods of limiting humankind. Funding additional wars to prevent the negative effects of population growth might be an attractive possibility. Why stop the genocide in the Sudan? Should we UPS them some more bullets? We could biologically attack food sources in overpopulated countries. We could stop producing antibiotics. Why not get rid of medicine entirely? Think of the reduced cost in insurance. You pay $10/month and get a low co-pay on a ritualistic smoke ceremony for your cancer treatment. We could support the death penalty for minor crimes. How about we put some real teeth into the tree and party ordinances! We could eradicate certain ethnic or religious groups that tend to procreate more than others. Let's start with middle class white guys like me. Certainly, the elderly are a waste of resources, maybe a Logan's Run style carousel could help us cull the herd. But let's set the age of death at 42, I'd like to see my daughter walk and my son break into third grade. Plus I'll need a couple of years to square away the back taxes I'll owe on them. Maybe before we tax procreation and "off" ourselves to save the planet we could all try using those energy efficient fluorescent bulbs and replace the insulation in our attics. There might be a few interim steps we could try to reduce energy use before we all run like lemmings off the cliff. Just a suggestion. But for those of you that really want to be made sterile to save the planet, please, have at it. I can't think of anything you could do that would benefit humankind more than that. |
 |
CI Challenge: Can you guess what it is? Winner: Nobody, or everybody, depending on how you look at it. See comments below for the answer. |
Posted by Lon at December 11, 2007 08:07 AM
Comments
If people want to sterilize themselves, by all means go right ahead, I won't stop them. Maybe then the city would stop trying to expand so much. Population will decrease and the 5 o'clock traffic jam will dissapear. No more lines at the grocery store.
The CI Challenge looks like the end of the world due to greenhouse gasses causing the sun to implode.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 08:28 AM
The most energy efficient light bulb.
The one that's turned off.
Or burnt out.
Posted by: Gregg at December 11, 2007 08:34 AM
CIC The "dark side of the force".
As for some of things happening in the world related to "global warming" this news article has an interesting take on it:
http://www.news-record.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071209/NRSTAFF/71206032
Closer to home, how about the big windshield conspiracy of 1954?
Posted by: Anthony at December 11, 2007 09:02 AM
It's Wonder Woman's Invisible Plane at night.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 09:07 AM
Did you take that picture of the squirrels? that's a well-timed shot there. I've seen them with their sabers before, but they chased me off and I couldn't get a clear pic with my cameraphone.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 09:13 AM
The more I think about it, I don't think there is any one correct answer for the CIC. I think Lon ran out of ideas and decided to put up a square of black to see what the most imaginative answer submitted is then declare "thats it!".
So here's a laundry list just in case my first guess didn't cut it:
The Abyss, Black Onyx, a black hole, black tie formal with the lights out, polar bear covered in soot from China, r,g,b=0, black flag, inside a black box (one of Lon's widgets), Black Watch (a former CIC), a black belt, a blackhat, Black Thursday, Black Monday, Black Friday, black magic, blackmail, black sheep, the Black Hole of Calcutta, the inside of the restroom at the new City Plaza, a black cat closeup, blackmail, Men in Black closeup, the Black Death, Blackwater, or a black mood, which is what I'll be in if my first guess or one of the above doesn't win the CIC.
Posted by: Anthony at December 11, 2007 09:23 AM
It's the inside of Lon's kitchen cupboard.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 09:46 AM
Anthony,
I did have something specific in mind for the challenge. But after Gregg's guess "the lightbulb never used saves the most energy" I may be open to a creative excercise in selecting the winnning guess.
I like your list as well, particularly the inside of the plaza restroom. Not that that relates to the post, but it showed great whimsy when taken with the rest of the list.
Lon
Posted by: Lon at December 11, 2007 10:03 AM
Trevor,
It could pass for the inside of my cupboard. But it would never pass for the inside of my oven, whose creepy light still shines 24 hours a day, beckoning me to replace it with an energy star appliance.
My wife told me yesterday that she thought we could live without an oven if we had a toaster oven. We can afford a new oven, but I think she was just expressing a realization that we hardly use the appliance (the burners on top still work). For Christmas I might get her a hot plate and a toaster oven. With the high end aluminum finish of course.
Lon
Posted by: Lon at December 11, 2007 10:07 AM
i got a toaster oven as a wedding gift. I actually prefer them because they heat up 4 times as fast as a regular oven. And they make toast. which is essential to a healthy breakfast. And it's toast.
Also, apparently they make microwaves that also double as a toaster oven. What won't they make next. Cell phones that double as a blender? Or how about cd players that double as a BBQ? Oh, I got a Ice chest that doubles as a BBQ as one wedding gift. It's quite innovative.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 10:14 AM
Its also my negative carbon christmas tree this year at night.
I decided to save energy by leaving my tree in the woods happily alive, absorbing co2 and recharging the atmosphere with more oxygen.
Posted by: Gregg at December 11, 2007 11:27 AM
Gregg,
I'll do my part by cutting down your tree and leaving mine alive and healthy. Where is yours?
Lon
Posted by: Lon at December 11, 2007 11:30 AM
Don't let the darkness fool you. Those Jedi squirrels are in there ready to pounce. Their light sabers are just turned on to energy saver mode.
Posted by: Gregg at December 11, 2007 02:01 PM
I'm not afraid of squirrels with lightsabers. I got a lighthammer that will squish them, like little bugs.
Posted by: TrevHastings at December 11, 2007 04:10 PM
Lon,
You'll probably have to send that ammo to Africa via DHL. Those crazy bastards will fly anywhere, they'll probably be a little late though.
CIC - The view inside the womb of a mummy.
Posted by: Sean at December 11, 2007 07:24 PM
Ive decided to start a carbon offset brokerage firm.
First we have to pass green legislation to tax people that have more than their zero population replacement allotment of two kids per couple.
Then people that don't have any can sell their carbon offspring offsets to people that want big families. If you commit suicide, you can even sell a prorated percentage based on the time you had left.
People that ride bikes can sell their credits to people with gashogs. I'll even sell you my Christmas tree full of squirrels for a price.
This could be the next big international commodity. I get a percent of every deal.
Posted by: Gregg at December 11, 2007 08:28 PM
Lastday
Posted by: anon at December 12, 2007 12:15 AM
CIC: Dark Matter, or close up of a black hole (thus the blackness of it all).
Posted by: Mark Sorensen at December 12, 2007 09:53 AM
CIC - The red door that the Stones painted black.
Posted by: Sean at December 12, 2007 07:58 PM
Thats the view inside my eyelids after I fell asleep reading all these wacky CIC guesses.
Posted by: Gregg Payne at December 12, 2007 11:56 PM
Well, all good guesses. But this was the color of the palm crystal in Logan's Run that tells you when you've reached your allotted maximum lifespan and need to go into the "deep sleep".
When the palm crystal turned black (21 in the book and 30 in the movie I think) you would be killed so as to not endanger the limited computer controlled resources available to the society.
The movie is great in that when Logan and Jessica 6 finally escape from their domed society they find that the ruined environment is fully recovered and there is no reason to live in a dome.
I haven't read the book, but I think they find sactuary in an abondoned space station around mars.
Lon
Posted by: Lon at December 13, 2007 07:12 AM