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February 17, 2008
City Budget Problem Solved
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| Image: Previous City Manager shown picking
out custom silver and black H3 as part of City perk package. Ninja bodyguards
may be in picture, it's hard to say. City Budget Problem Solved By LAURA KLEINLITTLE - Commission Impossible Staff Writer Article Launched: 02/17/2008 12:00:00 AM PST Chico's new Enduring Eternal City Manager Dave Burkland shocked elected officials with his frugal request for additional compensation. It's unusual in this day and age for people to ask for less taxpayer money than they could potentially receive. In Burkland's case he asked for less money than his predecessor was paid, and the minimum amount the Council was willing to pay a new City Manager. He will be paid $190,000 plus benefits ($285K assuming 50% benefits), but without the traditional costly perks of the City Manager. When I asked longtime City Manager watcher Lon Frazzlebottom what the savings would be he responded. "You really can't overestimate the savings. I mean it, you really can't. Gone will be the pimped out silver and black H3 demanded by Greg Jones. Burkland will also do away with the expert Ninja bodyguards that Tom Lando first put on staff on the late '90s. Burkland's Interim Temporary Not-for-sure City Manager salary was $170,000 ($255K assuming 50% benefits). The savings can be calculated from that." I met with local accounting guru Pencilneck McGee to see if we could work out the savings from what's being called Burkland's Low-Ball Express. McGee worked feverishly at his abacus.."I almost have it... yes here it is... the net savings to Chico taxpayers will be -$20,000 to -$30,000 dollars annually. Wait, that can't be right, a negative savings means it's costing us money. Let me try it again... slide this here, move that bead over there, yes... yes... carry the red piece of wood... that's it! Damn, it looks like this will actually cost the city more money." As a local reporterette I was sure that the savings existed. So I telephoned Finby Dunklestein at the University's School of Public Finance. I asked him if it was possible for an increase in pay to actually reduce a budget problem. Finby responded... "You have to understand that public finance is not the same as private finance. Sometimes we call things that are not the same by two different names. That is called differentiation." " In public finance spending cuts can be achieved by not spending money you could have spent, even if you never had that money to spend. So if I say, hey instead of spending $4 million on that bridge why don't we spend $3 million, I just cut spending by $1 million, even though I haven't spent anything. It's all very philosophical. In the private finance world spending is based on actual dollars spent." That philosophical method of saving money seems to have caught on with other City employees. Chad Frodder, a groundskeeper at Baroni Park contacted me with his own offer of savings. "I've been out here for over a decade waiting for something to do, and now that the park is pretty much usable, I'm going to get promoted. I've decided not to accept a $5-$6 million increase in pay. That way I can save everyone's job at the city and wipe out the deficit." stated Chad. And just like that the budget problem has been solved. The catalyst is clearly the altruistic action by our new city leader. Burkland also flipped on its head one position often regurgitated by elected leaders. That is that we have to pay the most to get the best people for the job. It is clear from this reporter's perspective that we have now paid the least to get the best person for the job. And we never even had to compete with San Rafael to get him. Does this call into question salary comparison studies? Satire Alert: This post is satirical. Greg Jones and Tom Lando did not buy fancy cars and hire Ninjas during their terms as City Managers. The city cannot save money by spending more money. There is one aspect of this post that may not be satirical. We did hire somebody considered to be the "best man for the job" at the lowest amount we were offering. That is a trend that should continue. |
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CI Challenge: Can you guess what it is? Winner: Rainman, who today rained destruction down on all other CI guesses and reigned supreme in his knowledge of acronyms. See comments below for the answer. |
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Posted by Lon at February 17, 2008 09:36 AM
Comments
CIC looks like underwater missiles on a submarine. Of course, it they were on a submarine I guess it follows that they would be under water. You probably want specific missile names but I've misplaced my Ordinary Citizen's Guide to the World of Weaponry.
Posted by: Tina at February 17, 2008 11:11 AM
CIC looks like underwater missiles on a submarine. Of course, it they were on a submarine I guess it follows that they would be under water. You probably want specific missile names but I've misplaced my Ordinary Citizen's Guide to the World of Weaponry.
Posted by: Tina at February 17, 2008 11:13 AM
CIC: looks like some AMRAAMs on the back of a HMMWV (Hummer). Don't ya just love acronyms?
Posted by: rainman at February 17, 2008 11:25 AM
Tina,
I love specific missile names. My son would probably name them missily, explody, blasty, and warheady. He's just exiting the time of life where he names everything by adding an "ee" sound to the end of it.
This challenge is kind of lame, I just didn't have my heart in it today. It's Sunday and you and I are probably the only people that are going to read this, so it'll do. They are not underwater missiles.
Mark told me he had been a machinist at one time. What hasn't he done?
Lon
Posted by: Lon at February 17, 2008 11:31 AM
Oops, I spoke too soon.
Rainman,
YTITCCA. For the non-military that's short for Yes that is the correct challenge answer. I added a photo above next to the challenge. I thought the giant missiles on the HumV were notable and worth display. Kind of puts the H3 as an ego-driven phalic symbol to shame.
Lon
Posted by: Lon at February 17, 2008 11:40 AM
Sorry I missed this until now, I was too busy kicking the NASA climate folks where it hurts. I even forgot to read the paper today.
I may need to call in an air strike, so keep the AMRAAMs handy please.
Posted by: Anthony at February 17, 2008 06:30 PM
Mark told me he had been a machinist at one time. What hasn't he done?
Hmmm....I'm thinking....
still thinking...
That one, e's a bit o' a maven, he is. (said in my best Irish accent). Especially in hands-on things.
Tango - India - November - Alpha
Posted by: Tina at February 18, 2008 09:05 AM