EdSuccess

I met this wonderful pair on the plane last week coming back from Chicago. Richard and Scarlett. I didn't get all the details, but my understanding is they were going to San Diego for Dad's wedding. I believe Dad was Richard, but that was not quite clear in our conversations. Scarlett is nine.

When Richard got up to go to the back of the plane, Scarlett and I commenced to talk. She shared she was going into the fourth grade and needed more work on multiplication tables. Dad had gone to the back and was supposed to return with the multiplication flashcards that were stored somewhere in an overhead bin. He returned without them.

Scarlett was not to be denied her practice. "Well, just give me some and I'll see if I know the answers."

We'd already talked about how easy 6 time 6 is, and that was almost the first question asked. Yea, Scarlett. You got that one. The 2's, 5's and 10's seemed to go easily. Nine's she had a system to use. When 7's or 8's came up the fingers appeared. Those always seem to be the tough ones.

At our house, with four kids needing to learn the multiplication tables in that third/fourth grade range, we sang them, tapped danced them, practiced them at breakfast and dinner, and used them in every possible situation we could. "There are six of us at dinner. How much silverware do we need if everyone has a knife, fork, and spoon?" "What if we invited our friends Katy and Gene over? Then how many do we need?"

We multiplied anything that could be multiplied just for the practice--silverware, beans, nuts and bolts, or puppy dog tails. The content didn't matter. What matter was learning the tables as well as showing how that learning applies to what you do everyday. None of my kids has taken a job as an accountable yet, but they all know how to figure out their checkbooks. So will Scarlett.

This week, now going on longer, we've been waiting for a new baby in our family. Lucas James is due any minute, but he's a bit late in his arrival. So what do you do while waiting.

When you have three other children, ages 8, 5, and 3, there's plenty to do. Walks, puzzles, games, computer games, naps, and videos to name a few of the busy days we've had. Today was a flower craft of tissue paper. What fun.

The most interesting part for me has been watching my daughter-in-law interact with her children. What a treat!

I talk to groups every week about how parents can help support their children with learning activities. Since I haven't had kids at home for a while, I can't help but wonder if the things we did still work. This week I know they do. This week I know that any household can support a child's learning. I've had the opportunity to watch it in action.

Melissa just naturally sits down on the floor with the 3-year-old and does the puzzle with the numbers and the colors. "What number is this? Let's count these? Show me three fingers because you're three."

The almost 5-year-old has all her numbers to 10, colors, and some of the alphabet, and the magnet letters on the refrigerator and the letters on the placemat help remind her of what they look like.

The 8 almost 9-year-old going into fourth grade child is old enough not to take naps in the afternoon. Her afternoons are spent reading Treasure Island. She gets a sticker on her library chart for every chapter she completes. She received an extra sticker because she asked to read a chapter to the little ones with me before their afternoon nap.

For some moms like Melissa, this is just a natural part of being a mom. For others it's something to learn, but really makes since when the value of that kind of support shows up in a child's success in school and in the child's only feeling of confidence and well-being.

It's also easy to start out with this kind of support in the early grades and fall off later as they get into the more difficult subject like algebra or chemistry. Don't stop now. You're just getting started. Even if you don't have the same skills you had for learning the A, B, Cs, you, as mom and dad, are still your child's greatest supporter and fan.

So when Lucas arrives, I know he will be in good hands. My son, Christopher, his dad, is in Afghanistan at the moment. He's going to miss this entry into the world, but we are going to keep him as engaged as possible. Enjoy your son, my dear, as I have enjoyed you!!

Plano Texas has a wonderful conference center just made for workshops and group work. Last week I had the opportunity to meet with a wide-ranging group of educators from Region 10 ready to explore the possibilities of Family Engagement.

The folks from Head Start already have experienced the possibilities for parents involved in their programs. It's part of their mission to include parents. The participant from the Community College said they've now included a parent orientation for their incoming students. Since the parents often foot the bill, they thought it was a wise move to do so. I have several in college so I related to that statement! Thank you. We'd like to know what's going on with our kids even at that age.

In between the preschoolers and the college were teachers, administrators, parents, and support staff from a variety of different districts. All walked away with a plan, unique to their setting, to begin their process.

Mostly, though, in the first days of looking a Family Engagement we talk about thinking and attitudes. Without exploring the attitudes we hold, we can't bring about any change. If cling to what we "know" we will continue to have the same experience. If you're in a workshop to deal with achievement or behavior or attendance or budget issues, you're looking for a different experience. If your best thinking hasn't fixed one of those issues, it's time to look at how you're thinking. That's why we start with thinking.

This group was willing and able to do so. Their discussions and plans reflect their new thoughts. "We could do workshops for parents." "We could have a learning fair." "We could...." Fill in the blank. They came up with all kinds of ideas which they easily shared with others in the room.

Rethink and you'll see some new experiences immerging. Texas Region 10 is doing just that?

Driving from Phoenix to Miami, Arizona is something I remember doing as a child. We'd drive through the two mining towns of Miami and Globe on our way to summer fishing trips in the White Mountains. This time the trip was different. I wasn't vacationing and my destination was Miami itself. I had a promise from my wonderful vice-president of everything, Joan, that I would love where I was staying, a place called Noftsger Bed and Breakfast.

Oh my, what a surprise. What a treat! I've stayed a many places from Hyatts to Holiday Inns, Hamptons to Hawthorns, but this was without a doubt one of the best places for me, the consummate educator, I have ever stayed.

How could you go wrong with a schoolhouse turned into a bed and breakfast? The outside of the two-story building looked just like it must have looked 103 years before when it was built for the children of the town. I drove around to the back entrance where there once was a playground. I was greeted by Rosalee who was delighted to escort me into the school. Walking in was like being greeted not just by Rosalee, but by the hundreds, no thousands of children who had gone to school in this building.

The wide center hall echoed with the voices of those who had been here before. And I couldn't see fast enough to take in all of the fun school stuff scattered about on display. There was the easel with the Dick and Jane posters. There were the old books and the class pictures on the walls. There were the desks of several different vintages. There was just so much and so much fun!

Rosalee was happy to show me my room and then let me go on a tour. We walked down the center hall with me being distracted at every step to Classroom 2. When she opened the door, I wanted to cry. It really was a classroom--blackboard on one wall, desk in the corner, a fireplace at one end, and enough room for 30 children's desks. Needless to say, there was plenty of room for a bed, armoire, couch, chairs, huge work table, and plenty of space left over. It had been a classroom long before it was a bedroom. What a treat. I was sleeping in school!

The tour was a whirlwind of more school stuff. More classrooms, the principal's office, and the cafeteria now a wonderful dining room for tomorrow's breakfast. I've never been into antiques much, but I could get into this. Books, desks, tablets, chalkboards--all the tools of the trade I love so much. It was just too good for words.

I woke up in the middle of the night, lulled back to sleep by children saying the alphabet and learning their numbers.

Summer hot, sultry, green, so green and lots of water. A week ago in Allegany School District in North Carolina I met with teams from three elementary schools and a high school to talk about my favorite topic of Family Engagement. Summer hot, dry, brown, desert, no water. A week later I was in Miami, Arizona with an elementary school group looking at their Family Engagement activities.

My GPS told me I was 2,456 miles from my destination when I plugged in the address of the second school. You'd think being that far apart, there would be huge differences, issues and concerns. Well, there are different time zones. There are different ethnic backgrounds and different food choices. There are different dialects. I didn't say "ya"ll" once in Arizona. There are immigration issues going on in Arizona not found in North Carolina. In fact, my minor ability to speak Spanish was not tested at all in either place. But when it came to issues around engaging families in support their children in school, the issues were very similar.

How can schools do that? What do we do? What can parents do? What difference will it make? Okay, it looks like it might work, but how can we include the parents at our school? And so we talk. And we share. And we come up with projects that will work. And the energy shifts. There's a positive feel about how we, school folks and family folks, can support their children. Ideas are generated and a plan develops. By the end of the workshops, both groups were ready to start. I thought the Arizona group was going to begin painting the walls of the hallways before the workshop was over!

This is such fun work being able to bring groups like these together, watching them create something that will build trusting relationships that can help support children. I can't imagine enjoying anything else more. Thanks to both Allegany and Miami for their wonderful support for their kids and for me in the last couple of weeks!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog. I stayed at the most wonderful bed and breakfast. For an educator, I could finally say I slept in school!!

Chalmette's 17 schools were all underwater when Katrina hit. Chalmette, in case you've never visited, is close to New Orleans. Before the storm, they had 9000 students. Three weeks after the storm, they had 300 and housed them in the only workable place--the remaining high school building. It's been a heck of a rebuilding process. http://www.stbernard.k12.la.us/ourstory.asp

Today they serve 4500 students in several school settings including the, 9th grade academy attached to the high school. The administrators can't say enough good things about their Superintendent who just wouldn't take no for an answer. Doris Voitier, went after support from the community, grants, donations, and whatever else it would take to get them back on their feet. She didn't wait for help. She created it. Judging by the new facility for their 9th grades, she's done exceedingly well. Several times while during the day I spent with their staff, I heard the comment, "There's been a lot of good things that have come out of the storm."

Eighteen or so of their staff showed up for the training on Family Engagement. Each one is a little different because of budget, needs, grade-level or just because each district is different. There's was different because it's unusual to have a high school staff focusing on just one year, but this one does. They believe in making the transition from middle school to high school a successful one and they're succeeding. The enthusiasm for their students was palpable.

They generated idea after idea--a focused back to school setting where hands on activities could be enjoyed by parents and students rather than just talking heads, a coffee chat with parents in their new coffeehouse going in their library, and a directory for parents with contact information for each of the faculty. They'll hone these and several of their other ideas down to something manageable for next year, but they're on their way.

The fun for me was when Mike, one of their team leads, got the connection. He hadn't realized that engaging parents could make that kind of difference, and I could watch the wheels turn as he did. Charlotte, their vice-principal, was already there. Others may have had the same a-ha moment, but Mike was verbal about it. For me, it felt like my teaching days when a student really understood a concept. You can watch their whole face light up. Thanks Mike. I appreciated that more than you'll know.

So they're on their way. I'll get to watch them and coach them a bit, and, hopefully, be back for more. And the benefits?? Well if the research holds true, and it will because these folks are so committed to their community, they're in for a real treat for kids, parents, and their staff.

For new and old timers, this is my once in a while catch up with the Samples family. Since I started writing a column which became a blog, the kids have been the energy behind learning and fun to keep the stories coming. Periodically folks like to hear what's happening with them. May 2010 was huge.

First it's birthday month. Carolyn is just outside the box with an April 30 birthday, and she still marches to her own drummer. She's the youngest at 23. The boys followed the next day to turn 27, and Jennifer, who refused to be born before she was absolutely ready, turned 25 on May 15th. That might have been enough, but not this year. This year they outdid themselves.

Jennifer started it all off my moving to a great new house in Chico. I love it because she, Jordan, and 16-month-old London are within walking distance. It may be a bit of a walk, but closer, fun for me, and so much easier for the kids.

Christopher was next. He and his wife are expecting in July, and he was scheduled to go to Germany in August. Cool turned not so cool. There was no other medic to send. He left for Afghanistan last Wednesday. He seems to be fine with it. So does Melissa. Mom's having a bit of a struggle. Acceptance can be tough some days.

James certainly did a lot to balance out our concerns. On the same day Chris was leaving, I left for James and Emily's wedding. Cancun is lovely this time of year. The kids and their closest family and friends certainly thought so. Enjoying a wedding on the beach, a resort reception, food, entertainment and someone to make your bed everyday--what more could you want?

Carolyn is topping off the month with her graduation from college. A double major and honors in both culminate four plus years of hard work. Didn't she just start all of this last month? Guess not.

So, for those who know my kids either through my stories about them I appreciate you reading. For those you know them personally as friends and family, they're doing great. For those who taught them--teachers, coaches, cub scout or 4-H leaders, Sunday School teachers, or just those who encouraged them to be who they are--my sincere thanks. You were a part of the celebrations this month because you helped them become who they are.

Me, I'm enjoying it all. Who'd a thunk they each turn out the way they have. What a treat.

I was in a hotel recently. Hmmm that's not particularly unusual given my schedule lately. I'd run upstairs to drop off a couple of things in the meeting room before breakfast. At the end of the hallway I saw a man with a video camera. It seemed a bit odd, but hey, things are often odd at 6:30 in the morning.

As I approached the room, I found the door was locked. I decided to put my things under the covered table outside the room. The man with the camera had moved down the hall to the other end of the table.

"I'm filming my cat," he said.

It's a hotel and I didn't see a cat anywhere. "Really?"

"She's just had surgery and was wearing a cone. I just took it off."

Okay, so I'm still not seeing a cat with or without a cone.

"She ran under the table," he said.

"May I help you get her out?" I asked, grateful that maybe there really was a kitty somewhere after all.

"Oh, she doesn't like people very much. She spits at anyone who gets near her. I'll get her," he said.

Right on cue this gorgeous black cat emerged from under the table almost at my feet. I put my hand down.

"Oh there's China," he said.

China sniffed my hand and turned her head to be petted. The man appeared stunned. "She never does that," he said. "She doesn't like people. She always hisses at them. I can't believe this."

China continued to want her morning dose of petting. I sat down on the floor as she came closer for a better neck rub. The man started his camera and continued to sputter. "This is amazing. She just doesn't do this."

I glanced at my watch and realized I was late for my breakfast meeting and I had to go. Giving China one last pet, I said goodbye to both the still surprised man and the not so surprised cat.

I talk a lot in workshops about attitude. I have no idea what China's normal attitude is, but my attitude towards China was simple--she's a wonderful cat, I love cats, and China is a cat I'd like to know. She must have agreed. It works with cats. It works with kids. It works with school staffs. It works with parents. It's all about attitude and it starts with mine.

I do workshops all over the country about schools and families working together. In the session on attitudes, I talk about holding attitudes, beliefs, and creating patterns of behavior around those beliefs. My example is about jellybeans.

I have an attitude about jellybeans. You may like jellybeans. You may even like the black jellybeans. That's great. I'm glad you do. Me--not a chance. I won't eat them, have them in my house, give them to my kids even through the Bunny. No jellybeans. Nada. Nunca. Never.

Why? And why such an adamant reaction to something so innocuous. Well, as a three-year-old I got one caught in my throat. According to the stories, I couldn't breath, turned blue and my Dad reached down my throat to retrieve the jellybean. I don't remember it. I was three. I do remember the stories. For years I heard those stories and every time I heard the fear my parents held of the event. So in my childlike mind I must have decided at some point that jellybeans were the enemy, and that in order to be safe I would never eat another jellybean. I haven't. Nor have my children or my grandchildren. Seems I've created an interesting belief followed by an interesting pattern of behavior.

What difference does that make here in this blog where we talk about schools and families. Okay, so what belief systems have you created around schools, parents, families, cultures, poverty, or ?? In my first year of teaching I got the impression, probably from discussions in the teacher's lounge, that parents were a pain, they didn't really care about their kids, and they didn't know how to help. So it was best that they stay home and we do the teaching. Was there some fear attached to those beliefs held by those twenty year veteran teachers that I admired so much? Probably. Those parents might take over or they might try to get us to teach or run our classrooms differently? Better if they just stayed away.

As a parent of four children, did I get the idea that I wasn't wanted in the school? Did I believe that no matter how much education I might have, the teachers knew better than I did about what my child needed to learn so I should just stay out of it? Yes. Somehow I got that message and mostly I stayed away from my kid's school.

With those kinds of beliefs, I created some interesting patterns. Keep the parents at bay. Stay out of the school. Do other things with my kids, but don't mess with their learning. Interesting patterns when both the teachers and I want the same thing for kids--success in learning.

Today I had another jellybean experience. I got a rather large vitamin pill caught in my throat. Fortunately, I could breathe, but unfortunately, I couldn't dislodge it. It took about 40 minutes and a cup of hot tea before I could swallow it. That's a good deal of time to be aware of old fears, beliefs, patterns of behavior and opportunities to do things differently. My adult brain didn't have to go into panic. I knew the vitamin would dissolve or, if it wouldn't, I could go the doctor. I had options so no need to freak out. I also knew I wasn't going to stop taking vitamins. They're healthy for me, and just because I got one caught in my throat, I wasn't going to stop taking them. I wasn't going to create another pattern of behavior based on fear.

Hm... so maybe jellybeans aren't the enemy I thought they were. So maybe there are other patterns that were created in childhood or last year or two days ago based on misinterpreted incidents that became beliefs. Maybe jellybeans aren't bad for me; maybe parents are okay to help in school; maybe I can help with my kids, or these days, grandkids learning. Wonder what other beliefs have created patterns of behavior that don't work anymore. Bet I'll find out. Bet the Bunny brings me jellybeans this week....

Today was a hands-on adventure which to me is the best kind of learning activity. I stopped to get gas at a corner quick stop. I'd already decided I was going to have a soda after the pump stopped, when I saw a youngish man walk through the parking lot. At first I wondered why he had a rope around his neck especially a multicolored rope. That was until the rope moved. Oh my.

I went to get my drink and the man was standing in front on the laundromat next door. I couldn't resist. "Boa?" I asked, not being a particular connoisseur of snakes.

"It's a python from Australia," he said as I reached out to touch the snake.

I stopped in mid-air. "I thought python's were poisonous," I said.

"Not this kind," he said. I figured that must be true since he was wearing it around his neck. The snake was at least six feet long and as big around as my wrist.

I touched it as he showed me how he could pet its whole head without worry. I was just pleased to be touching it without much fear. I'm not a huge fan of snakes.

As I was petting the snake, I watched two little boys peering out of the window from the laundromat. What two boys wouldn't want to pet a snake? I'd never seen the boys before, but mom was with them so I walked in. "Are you going to touch the snake?" I asked them. There was a lot of feet shuffling, but no real movement.

I went to get my drink next door. When I came up to the counter the snake man was in front of me and the boys were standing at the door wide-eyed. You could see it all over them, "Please, please let me touch it." And on the other hand you knew mom had said, "Don't talk to strangers especially ones with snakes around their necks."

My kids had some favorite stories when they were little. One they heard a great deal was The Elephant's Child by Rudyard Kipling. In the story is a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake who lives near the banks of "the great, grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set-about with fever trees." My twin boys were especially fond of the Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake. I wonder what they'll say when I tell them mom touched one. I hope the laundromat boys finally did too.