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December 28, 2005
Now About Those Resolutions
Most of us make or at least think about making New Year's resolutions. We may write them down and make vows to keep them, or we may know ourselves well enough to recognize they aren't going to happen so why bother. Either way, many of us at think about doing something different or new with the changing over of the year.
So what's that all about? Why do we consider changes? Often times it's because what we're doing right now isn't working very well for us. Maybe it's being 20 pounds overweight or sitting in front of the TV every evening while the exercise equipment we bought last year sits idly gathering more spiderwebs. With me it's the piano keyboard I bought myself two Christmases ago. I really wanted to learn to play. I've wanted to learn for years. I bought the keyboard. I've bought a couple books. I have a couple CDs on learning how. I even stopped by the music store to find out when lessons were given. So why haven't I learned how to play?
I can give you a variety of excuses. I don't have time right now. Work is pretty busy. My sock drawer needs rearranging. Who knows what else I can come up with, but I just don't do it.
So what's that about? I want it. Why won't I do it?
My answer-fear. I mentioned writing the blog and how quickly and easily I was able to learn it. I wanted to do it. I found out how. I tried it, and I learned it. For some reason I didn't have any fears wrapped up in this one. It was new and new to a lot of people so nobody had a built up notion of what it should be like. I certainly didn't so I couldn't make a whole lot of mistakes and people wouldn't even know they were mistakes. Shoot, I wouldn't even know they were mistakes, but playing the piano is different. There are rules and expectaions. There is perfection and if you can't be perfect the first day, well what's the use.
Adults bring baggage to learning. Kids don't, at least young children don't until they are taught there is baggage to carry. As adults we bring a whole lot of expectations about what "should" be. Our resolutions, our plans for going back to school, or changing our lifestyle get scuttled, not by others, but by our own expectations of what we think we ought to be and when we're not what we think we ought to be, that we are less than okay.
So resolutions and new learning starts with what we have in our heads already. It's too bad we can't go back to childhood when we didn't have expectations of failure. Well, try it. Go back to those days. What if you couldn't fail? What if everything you tried to learn was a success and a joy? What if every step was new and exciting-even if it was only a single step? That's how kids learn. They take the first step and it's a miracle, and everyone is thrilled with it. Then the child takes two and three steps, and he's off and running. No fear of failure. Every step is a success.
So what if, as if you were a child, every step for you is a success. Every note or chord I learn is a great event, every pound you lose is a success, every minute you use your exercise bike is a new learning for you and your body.
If we came at it with the insight of a child, learning would certainly be different, and it just might make keeping those resolutions a possibility. Let's see middle C is....
Posted by Dr Joni at December 28, 2005 07:10 AM