« Resolution Two | Main | Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers »
January 03, 2006
Money Management is a Learned and Practiced Skill
Since I've been talking about adult learning, let's talk about young adults learning how to manage money. Managing money is a learned skill just as is reading a book. My children are now out on their own getting to practice the skills they learned from having an allowance and working at part-time jobs.
James is my most recent example of learning about money. He's been in the Air Force now for three years and has a steady if not large income. He's learned to make his car payments, take care of basic needs, buy the clothes and CDs he likes, and put a bit aside.
This week he moved into his own apartment and life just got more complicated. "Mom," he said when I talked to him after the move, "there were so many things I didn't have. I had to go get a set of dishes, silverware, a waste basket, even a toothbrush holder. I had to spend $200 on just dumb stuff."
I was very good and didn't say things like, "Oh, you mean all the dumb stuff we quietly provided all those years," or "told you so," or any of a number of other possibilities. I just smiled to myself and said, "Well, it is a bit costly to live on your own. The good news is these are one time purchases. You won't be buying these every month."
"I know, but it just wasn't what I expected," he said. "I sure hope I have enough money for the things I have to do. I thought I knew, but now I'm not sure." Funny his sister used almost the same words six months ago when she moved to Chico.
Lessons learned are very often not what we expected. If learning was always what we planned, life would be boring and quite unimaginative. Like most new lessons, this one just seem scary and he's looking for a safety net. The net appears as we become more and more familiar with the situation we are in and as we figure out what works and what doesn't.
He may well make some mistakes and come up a little short at times. When he does he'll figure out what to do about it. When he has a little extra, he'll figure out what to do with it. Learning is often about trial and error. Those who have some experience can help when the learner is ready, but whether we have a teacher or not, what we learn and retain is gained through our own experiences.
He ended our conversation with one thing he'd decided he'd learned with this move, "I'm definitely not getting married. I like having a place by myself."
My only thought was, "Uh, huh."
Posted by Dr Joni at January 3, 2006 05:20 PM