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February 12, 2007
“Different” “Handful” “ADHD”
I’ve heard those words several times from parents over the years. I remember one of the first times I had a similar comment and I never forgot it. A Mom was talking to me about her family. She said, “Well, we have three girls and then there’s Andy.”
I had Andy in my special education class. He was a darling blond haired-blue eyed child. He enjoyed life and had an infectious laugh. It seems his sisters were all in the gifted program or close to it. Andy hadn’t learned to read yet. He was in first grade and was still trying to find out what school was all about. He was already in my program for additional help.
Andy wasn’t hard to deal with in class. He just wasn’t like his sisters.
A Mom the other night told me of her child who was also in special ed. From her I learned he had Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), had various kinds of assistance going, and the variety of things Mom had tried to help him.
I know about kids who are different. I have four children including a set of twins. My boys may be the same age, but they are VERY different from each other. I couldn’t have treated them the same if I’d wanted to. They had too many differences to do so.
I’m sure at least one of them was labeled a “handful” by someone and our doctor told me one of them was ADHD. He needn’t have bothered. I had already figured that out, but I wasn’t going to give into it.
I believe that children are who they are, but they will become who you tell them they are if you tell them often enough.
If Andy’s being different was a good thing to the family, then Andy was going to be just fine. If it was a curse, Andy would have trouble as he got older. His being different would be something bad, not okay, even if Andy was just fine.
The Mom with the ADHD was searching for ways to help her child. So was I with my child. I chose play to his strengths and help him focus his ability to “multitask.”
How we accept our children’s differences, how we label them, and how we encourage and support them will go a long way in helping them deal with whatever life throws at them.
Posted by Dr Joni at February 12, 2007 02:17 PM