Just a Guy

Be warned I have no idea what this is going to be about but I am fairly certain at some point you may ask if I am on LSD. With that out of the way let us see what happens.

So here I sit brainstorming my blog or blog storming. What is blog storming well the first image that comes to mind is that of a large dark cloud with random blogs pages falling from the sky. I warned you. This may get weird.

Ok so what to write. Hmm... I like cheese.

Speaking of salsa where is my hamster.

I have lost me if you find me please return me because I miss me.

Then I went on to see that every time I hit stumble and it pops something from the topic weblogs, it is a blog tips blog. WHAT IN THE HOLY BLUE HELL IS GOING ON! Then I read an article saying 90% of new blogs fail. Do you see a link? I knew you could. If every one is writing about how to make money blogging and how to be a better blogger and the people reading it is other bloggers that are writing the same shit, then how the hell do you expect to set yourself apart.

Then I got up and got a smoke. I will be right back. For the IM afflicted BRB.

Where was I? oh yes I was blog storming. Trying to figure out what to write. So then I hit the stumble button again and now I see one of those silly user made de-motivational posters. If you don't know what I mean scroll through some of my articles and I am sure you will find one. Don't worry I will wait. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and we continue. If you needed longer than that just wait til after I finish. Please.

Wait you have a little more time while I search the vast resources of my mind to find another topic. Wait no you don't, I found something. Is it weird for your ex-wife to hug your girlfriend the first time she meets her? I only ask cause it happened. My ex-wife is the same woman that tried to hook me up with a friend of hers for a booty call. She wants to double date with us. The only reason I even talk to her is because of the Dude (AKA my son, you know the cute kid kid in the picture of me on the right).

I was thinking last night about something some one left on a comment for the "Time?" article I wrote. I put it on 2 other sites. Some one presented the idea that time is physical. Interesting idea. If time is physical then it can be manipulated. Imagine time in your hands like a ball of silly puddy. What would you make? I think I would make a snowman. Ok a puddy man, a time puddy man that traveled back and forth through time buying stocks and getting rich until he he came the owner of Microsoft, Apple, IBM and the Federal Reserve. It is a private bank after all. He would be the ruler of the free world going back in time to kill the parents of all that might oppose him. Since he could travel in the future he could snuff you out before you even knew you were going to oppose him. Wrap your head around that while I come up with something else.

What was that?

No, not right now. I am sorry the voices are running rampant right now. I like the voices. They are my friends. I am never really alone with them around. Now for something completely different.

The funny thing about all this is you really have no idea how many topics I skipped while writing this dribble. In case you did not notice from the warning at the beginning this is all done on purpose. Kind of scary isn't it.

I have a choice in front me, do I continue making you doubt my sanity or do I find something of substance?

While I contemplate that I wanted to let you know I saw 3:10 To Yuma the other night and it was incredible. It was funny to watch a guy from down under and a Welsh guy portray characters from the old west.

I came across a picture of a flaming shot and it reminded of a story from my Air Force days. I was 18 and stuck in Biloxi Mississippi for training. Me and a couple friends went to go out drinking. We started the night at Burger King. We ate then played on the playground until we go kicked out for throwing the plastic balls from the ball pool at each other and playing war in the playground. Mind you we were still sober at this point. Next stop, Toys R Us. We threw footballs down the aisles, over the aisles, bounced on the bouncy ball animals and still no one came to talk to us. We stepped it up a notch and started riding scooters around the store. What can I say cramming 2 years of advanced electronic theory into some ones brain in less than six months can have some adverse effects. We finally make it to the bar. The Tropical Daiquiri. There were 2 women behind the bar and we were the only 5 customers they had. So after a few daiquiris and a couple shots the bar tenders start offering me free shots just to see what I will and what I won't drink. So after another couple daiquiris and 6-10 more shots we get the brilliant idea to do flaming shots of Everclear. For those that do not know Everclear has the highest percentage of alcohol of any booze. It is pretty close to moonshine. I go to blow it out and next thing you know my hand is one fire, the bar is on fire, my buddy next to me his arm is on fire. Surprising part of this story is they kept serving us.

Who else is sick and tired of those late night phone chat ads? I only ask because one in on right now. Some of these girls on the commercials are hot and some just scare me.

I just skimmed through and saw that I have made a grievous error. I told you I smoke. Oh no how could I do something so stupid. Now you hate me for smoking. But let me tell you something. I smoke so that others may live because if I didn't I would kill some one.

Ok well I think that may be enough of a little trip inside my mind. Again I would like to thank Mirjam at Me Myself and I for this idea. Until the next time remember to be excellent to each other and... Party on dudes! have a great weekend everyone and thank you for indulging this rambling mad man.