Episode 1 The Phantom Menace: Pod racing and Jar Jar Binks aside, I would have to say the first time I watched this at an advanced screening I loved it. I was working at a local theater,hence getting to see it early, and I can say that I saw this flick about 50 times during it's theatrical run. The only I would even begin to fault Lucas for is the over use of CGI. Also I am not a big fan of the digital cameras that they are using these days.

As far as bad ass bad guys go, Darth Maul was the shit. He looked bad ass and the saber battle between Maul and Obi Wan was incredible.

One thing that always sticks out for me in this movie is the obsession of Qui Gon Jinn with transports. I think he asked "Do you have transports?" something like 4 times in this flick. It fit it was just excessive for my tastes.

Episode 2 Attack of the Clones: Hayden Christainsen aside, I dug it. How many of us had wondered what Yoda in battle would look like, well it was pretty damn awesome if you ask me.

We got to see the beginning of the Stormtroopers and the early versions of vehicles and ships that we would later see in episodes 4-6.

I also got into the masterminding of then Senator Palpatine. He was evil with an angel's smile. The development of this character that would eventually become the master of of the galaxy. He was evil and he was good at it. He double crossed everyone and used people who never knew they were being used.

I even liked the story line of Jango Fett being the model for the clones. It explains so much.

Christopher Lee has taken part in more on screen sword fights then probably any actor in history. Having that kind of experience involved in developing the final saber battle made for one of the best sword battles the screen has ever seen. I said "one of" so calm down. Over all I was pleased.

Episode 3 Revenge of the Sith: Not so much. It had some cool visuals but I felt let down in more ways than one.

The one thing I was consistently happy with through each of these flicks was Ewan McGregor. He is a extremely talented actor. I think he did Alec Guiness proud with his portrayal of Obi Wan Kenobi.

Talk about one of the most fun fights in cinematic history, Palpatine vs. Yoda will go down in history as one of the more epic battles. This is what we watch Star Wars for, the fights and the space battles.

Now for the let downs. The anti climactic finish to the Obi Wan Anakin fight left me asking "Is that it?"

It had been an epic battle of equally matched foes until the end. It was a poor way to end the fight that we had all been dreaming of seeing ever since we learned it was Obi Wan that put Vader in his suit. Vader is a bad ass evil MF that can kill with a thought. I do not need that image ruined with him crying out after being told that his wife was dead. That riught there had me walking out of the theater feeling as though some one had pulled a fast one. I understand the reason behind it but it opened the door to more questions.

Over all there were plot holes galore in these 3 movies and I will never be totally satisfied but then again I don't imagine any of us could have done much better. Stay tuned for a look at the Episodes 4-6 coming soon.

TMW: In looking at your career you have worked with a variety of people. What was the one part you really went after when you found out who was attached to the project?

ZW: I would have to say Transformers. When I found out the Optimus Prime was coming out of retirement to be in the movie and make that leap from the 2D world of cartoons to the 3D world of live action, I was in. That is a big risk for any actor to take and I really wanted to support his decision, as Opie, (that’s what his friends call him) and I go way back. We used to hang out with Vanilla Ice in ’87, just partying and snorting WD-40, y' know, guy stuff.

TMW: Priceless.

ZW: Actually when I learned that Kevin Kline was going to be in Trade I went for it. I've loved Mr. Kline’s work since "A Fish Called Wanda" and it was a privilege to tackle such important content with a performer of his stature. I put my heart and soul into that film, aspiring to match the levels of integrity, of character that Kevin brings to his work. When we premiered at the United Nations building last summer, it was an incredible moment in my life and career. Having Kevin take me aside and compliment me on my work was more than I could have asked for. It’s an important film and I hope people take the time to see it.

TMW: Sounds like something I may want to check out. I wanted to move on to the movie you have coming out on May 23rd, Postal. There are a lot of people that may not be familiar with it. Can you tell me a little more about it?

ZW: Postal is a brilliantly tacky comedy. If Kubrick made fart jokes, this would be his film. It’s kind of like “Dr. Strangelove” meets “South Park”. Everybody makes gross, rude, sexist, racist jokes in the privacy of their own group of friends. Postal is like a huge "baggin" session where everyone tells their worst, crudest jokes, but this time to the faces of the people they’re making the jokes about and then gets a joke fired right back at them. Postal slaughters sacred cows and then puts them on a bun, which is a good thing as all our religious and cultural separations have only accomplished more wars and strife.

Real comedy comes from pain and Postal is the one movie that has the balls, or the Bolls, to put that pain in your face and make you laugh.

TMW: Now that sounds like something I would want to see. You did this flick with Uwe Boll, what's he like to work with?

ZW: Uwe is a brilliant producer and has God like abilities to get investors for his films. When he gets in the directors chair he has this incredible passion for making movies and in his excitement he misses a lot of details and that makes him a target for critics. This is his workflow: while he’s directing one film he is also posting (organizing the editing, sound, CGI, distribution) his last film and is locking down the financing for his next two projects which he'll shoot almost immediately after the film he's directing and so the process continues. The problem is that he's never fully dedicated to just one movie and therefore he lets a lot of crucial details fall through the cracks. If he slowed down or just produced and handed the directors chair over to someone else for 4 out of the 5 movies he shoots a year, I think he would be a legend and highly respected.

TMW: Interesting take on the guy. I have to say I never knew how good of a producer he is but we all know what his end product looks like. Maybe he should stop wearing so many hats. Speaking of wearing different hats, I hear you have put on the writer's hat. What inspired you to start writing scripts?

ZW: Titus. When I was working on the series we had awesome writers. Aside from Chris Titus, Jack Kenny and Brian Hargrove running the show, we had 14 staff writers, so the writer’s room had an incredibly contagious energy. It was the first time I was around something like that and it sucked me in. I started throwing ideas out and they very kindly told me "Shut up Zack."

Then, one day, I pitched a joke and…IT MADE IT ON AIR! Well, that was like crack for me. I wanted more. The next season I kept pitching and kept hearing "Shut up Zack." Only this time they took me aside and started teaching me about script structure, context and story. I have been working on my writing ever since and have a great writing partner.

TMW: Nice. So what have you done with it so far?

ZW: When I was working on Postal, Uwe asked me if I would be interested in playing Edward Carnby in Alone in the Dark 2. I asked if there was a script yet and he told me no, so I started writing one. I got together with my writing partner, Carl Lucas and we hammered out an outline while I was still shooting Postal. Everyday after wrapping the shoot, we'd work on the script over the phone: him in New Mexico and me in Vancouver. We ended up with a prequel that brought back a lot of the H.P. Lovcecraft type monsters from the original game, really aiming at the die-hard fans but with a sexy edge that anyone could get into. I then talked to my one of my best friends, Todd Tucker, at Drac Studios and he gave me an incredible budget for the special effects. I called my producing partner Ben Moody (of Evanescence fame) and he reworked an Iron Maiden song from the early ‘80’s, made it more cinematic and modern, just amazing. I also scouted some locations for shooting and had everything within the budget that Uwe told me he had to work with. Unfortunately by the time I brought it to Uwe he had his mind set on going another direction.

TMW: Damn that sucks. Do you have anything else you are working on?

ZW: I have a bunch of scripts in every genre. Two have financing waiting to drop. So as they say, “It’s all bullshit till Zack gets paid”. Actually, no one but me says that. But I say it a lot.

TMW: You know, I just did an interview with Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment. He is a huge supporter of independent filmmakers. You may want to try getting in contact with him. I will shoot you over the information for submission.

ZW: Thanks bro, I appreciate it.

TMW: No problem. The Movie Whore is all about trying to help others get their films made. Speaking of which, is there any one you would whore out for my next interview? Anyone with a project to pitch?

ZW: I can give you Christopher Titus and Jason London.

TMW: Thanks Zack, I appreciate it and I am a fan of both these guys. Thanks again for taking the time for this interview and have a great day.

ZW: You too, it was good talking to you.

Zack is working on an untitled project with Jason London which has my interest peaked and you can find it here. He was great to talk to and really had me laughing throughout the interview. There were other things we talked about that do not show up in this interview and I look forward to talking with Zack in the future. I hope he is able to get his scripts on to the big screen as I can already see he has some great ideas and I believe he could make some quality flicks. There is definitely more to this guy than meets the eye and The Movie Whore wishes him nothing but the best.

Anyway I am big fan of Michael Paré. I have seen a lot of his movies and I can say that not all of them were good but I can also say he was good in all of them. The Greatest American Hero was the first thing I ever saw him in. I loved the character he played and from then on anytime I saw his name on a movie I would give it a watch.

Really I think he would be brilliant in the part in fact I have started a petition here to get him that role.

I did send him an email and I ripped a couple of his movies and I even included my full name and my home address. Now I went an extra step because while I am an a**hole, I believe in giving people a chance to explain themselves and offered to have a discussion with Dr. Boll over his films leaving the door open for him to possibly change my mind and give his films a second chance.

This led to a few emails back and forth between me and Dr. Boll. He suggested watching 3 of his latest films including the upcoming release Postal which he says is his best work so far. As an act of good faith I pulled my Anti-Boll posts and will refrain from any Anti-Boll posts or comments until after May 23rd when Postal opens up. If Postal is good I will put an end to my Boll hating days and become Pro-Boll. Before you start I am The Movie Whore and every whore is just that - a whore. At this point he offered me a 5 question interview for the sites I write for.

Now when you consider that I started this whole thing by ripping the mans work I think it was really damn cool of him to offer the interview. Me being the whore I am, I jumped on this opportunity and was quite pleasantly surprised. After all of this my respect for the man has jumped up quite bit and I am looking forward to seeing Postal. So now on with the interview.

TMW: Why video game adaptations, I mean why put yourself in a niche with a built in hard to please audience?
UB: HOUSE OF THE DEAD came to me out of nowhere and it turned into a success with over $60 million theatrical and DVD gross worldwide. It only cost $7 million to make.
TMW: You know from a business standpoint you can't argue with those numbers.

TMW: What have you learned over the years that you have used to make Postal which in your words is your best work to date?
UB: With POSTAL and SEED I turned back to my roots as a filmmaker who also writes his movies. I lost that in all the action driven video game movies before.

TMW: For anyone that wants to try to make a video game adaptation, what is the best advice you would give them?
UB: It's hard to convince the fans. Don’t let the pressure get you.

TMW: If you could pick one of your movies to go back and do over again would you? If yes, which one and why?
UB: Alone in the Dark .... without Tara Reid

TMW: I am The Movie Whore and no interview would be complete without something whorish. Who would you whore out to The Movie Whore
for a future interview?
UB: Michael Paré

He even gave me his email address. So I will be contacting him here in the next couple days to see if I can set something up. For those unfamiliar with Michael Paré he has been in such movies as The Philadelphia Experiment, Eddie and the Cruisers (one of my favorites) and the TV show The Greatest American Hero. He also has been working with Uwe Boll on a few films including Postal and SEED. On a side note they are trying to make The Greatest American Hero into a movie. Yes I am twitching up a storm over that one as it is one of all time favorite TV shows.

Anyway to learn more about Michael Paré click his name. I will be seeing if I can get him to do an interview. I have always been of the guy and I am hoping he says yes. Until the next time kids, go watch some movies.

In the mean time I keep looking for work. Just got another kiss off letter in my email tonight and boy it was a kick in the chest. Apparently Enloe HR is too ignorant to realize that learning technical stuff is the easy part but finding some one that actually knows and understands advanced management theory is difficult to find. That's why so many people complain about their bosses. Their boss got there on technical knowledge but has no idea how to be a leader. Yes I realize that's no way to get a job but they all ready sent me the email telling me they didn't want me. I have run circles around technical people with my management style. I get more out of my people and they are happier. Technical knowlegde has little to do with being a manager. I have never had such a hard time finding a job. I have put out at least 100 resumes and I have had one call back and one interview. I am still waiting to hear back and that was over a week ago. If you think I am frustrated and ticked off then go with that.

So being a Chico resident that actually grew up here I really have reached a point with the anti-Wal Mart crowd that has me questioning their intelligence. You want to know why people go to Wal Mart to get jobs and shop. Because local businesses can't compete in either market. Local businesses offer part time employment with no benefits. They hire college kids who don't need the job but are the only ones that can afford to work for such pathetic wages and no benefits. I have a family. I would love to support you but try supporting the rest of the community too. Quit your whining and and put your money where your mouth is.

I heard a rumor that Enloe wants to buy up the blocks of residences behind them. Tear it all down and expand the hospital. Like I said it was a rumor I heard and I don't know if it's true. If it is there goes a great neighborhood and in comes more cookie cutter substandard housing that tries to cram as much as they can into the space available.

Now for politics. Hillary Clinton in office is an idea that makes me want to leave the country and here is why. She has no moral ground to stand on. He husband cheated on her several times and I am willing to bet the only reason she stayed with him was to ride his coat tails to the oval office. She's worse than all of them. McCain has no interest in you whatsoever. He is a fat cat politician all the way. Don't know enough about Obama or he would be under fire here as well. The best chance we had was Dr. Ron Paul anyone that can not see that needs to pull their head out of the sand and take a look around.

So I am a little upset and taking all my shots at once. Sometimes you need to. I hold back quite a bit out of concern over being seen as offensive but some times the world needs to be offended just to see if they are actually paying attention. So many spend way too much time worrying about what they say that it gets so sanitized that they never actually say anything. I am angry and you should be too. If you want to be angry at me go ahead, I can take it. What you should be angry about is the way this country is being taken from us more and more every day. They are coming after our freedom. They want you with your head in the sand not paying attention to what is going on. They want you subservient buying into whatever they are selling this week.

You think a tax incentive check is going to solve anything or cutting interest rates, not bloody likely. What would help is if they imposed fines on companies that ship jobs over seas. We need more jobs. People with out jobs can't spend money they don't have. Tens of thousands of jobs are being shipped out every year til we hit a depression and then the government is going to offer something that we would not except unless we are that desperate. Seriously people wake up and start demanding our government work for us the people not the corporations.

I have worked for Fortune 100 companies and for Fortune 500 companies and I have watched them ship jobs over seas. I have worked for companies that were offering a severance package to people after sending their jobs some where else. They had to stay for a few months to get the severance and I was instructed to see how many I could fire or encourage to quit so the company would not have to pay anything out. Yes that was here in Chico. To avoid problems I am not going to name the company.

Like I said I write 2 other blogs one has had over 700,00 hits world wide since the beginning of the year and because of my writing there I have been offered to join a movie production company and have been asked to review the future films of a second company. One is my one free blog where my language is quite profane. I write here. I guess I may have let something slip and some one took notice. My apologies. I understand that is not allowed here and I have no problem with that. But the next person that tells me I am small town guy that does not know what he is talking about is going to get an earful.

I served 4 honorable years in the Air Force where I have seen things that would blow your mind. I have been all over the country and to a few other countries. I have seen and done things in my 33 years that a lot of people don't do in 50. Yes I take a great amount of offense to people who think they know where I am coming from with out knowing me. I know people that died in terrorist acts. I have watched people die. I have seen some of the poorest people in the world and lived with them. I have no compassion for the whining over Wal Mart. Wal Mart at least provides employment. When you have been out of work for a few months and can't find anything then we will talk about how evil Wal Mart is. It's called capitalism and that's the way it works. Wal Mart does better business than you so either get with the competition or quit taking up space.

This is what a real rant looks like. I do feel much better thank you. If you think I am being irrational look up the word rant before you comment.

It's a difficult question to answer. Whether or not a movie is good is totally subjective. Let's take for instance one of my new favorite movies, Southland Tales. I wrote a review of this movie and called it brilliant. Well tonight I went to see Mike and Spikes Sick and Twisted Cartoon Festival (Not as good as last years). The buddies I went with found Southland Tales to be "retarded." The Wookie actually said that. If you ever saw him you would understand why the hairy guy has the nick names. Then Jeff Solo, the Wookies room mate agreed with him. So I called Statutory Steve (Yes it is a joke nick name his girlfriend is actually older than him.) because I was in a state of disbelief over the fact that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum thought that Southland Tales sucked. Statty reminded me where these comments were coming from. The inhabitants of the Falcon are known for their bad taste and loving the most intellectually devoid crap.

Now don't get me wrong I love these guys like brothers but I really question their taste, frequently. Granted Statty and I are arrogant elitists but we have worked hard to become so. Statty is actually the one that gave me the title of Movie Whore as he is more of a critic than I am. The man just does not appreciate the value of a good B-Movie. I found myself becoming a critic and when I realized this was happening I decided the best way to regain my all out fandom was to immerse myself in crappy movies. This explains why I even know what Zombie Nation is.

Anyway back on topic. What makes a good movie I believe is what I am rambling about today. Here a few key points that I find makes a movie good to me.

* Entertainment Value: Did I want to shut the movie off. Even as much of a whore as I am I have shut some movies off for being that bad. Not many but a few. The best way to judge for yourself is after the movie do you feel like they stole time from your life you will never get back, if the answer is yes then it was a bad movie. Alone in the Dark was so bad I actually forgot I had seen it and watched it again.
* Dialog: Lame dialog makes for a lame movie. Good dialog makes for a possibly good movie. Great dialog makes a movie. Clerks looks like crap but it is the dialog that made it such a great movie.
* Plot: The more plausible and easy to follow the better generally speaking. There are some hard to follow movies out there that are pretty damn good. Think Donnie Darko and films that you may have to watch twice to get. Once you get it you love it.
* Pace: While important, can be forgiven for story and acting. Does the director move the movie along or are you stuck with pointless scenes that never lead to anything. Poor pacing can kill a potentially good movie in 5 minutes or less. Notable exception to this rule is The Good Shepherd. Matt Damon was incredible in this telling of a man that lived a life with little to no emotion. The slow pace emphasized his character.
* Acting: Bad acting can sometimes be a pleasure to watch if it is intended to be that kind of movie. Sometimes it could even make a movie better. I really think that Moulin Rouge would have been better with bad actors. The music stuff was fun but you had great actors pulling off emotional scenes that clashed with the fun ride this movie could have been. No one can deny that great acting can be crucial to how good a movie is. Hugh Jackman was amazing in The Fountain and carried that movie on his shoulders. I loved that movie.
* Loopholes: So many movies leave with you with questions. They never tell the complete story. A great movie that told a complete story and answered all your questions was The Departed. No some movies are made to leave you asking questions and that is their draw. They make you think and use your imagination to fill in the intentionally left holes. The original anime movie A Ghost In the Shell had my brain spinning for hours after I watched it. I own this movie.
* Special Effects: Bad effects can kill an other wise good movie. I am Legend is the best example of this. Will Smith really is a good actor. His performance was strong but the creatures in this move were so bad that I can't see myself ever watching the movie again.
* Less is more: Think about the original Alien. One of the things that set the mood and made this movie so good was the distinct absence of sound and background music. Silence can be a powerful thing. The Descent also used this technique and I was impressed with how many times I jumped out of my seat during this flick.
* Believability: Offenders of this rule include nearly every time travel movie ever made. They give you their science then abandon their own rules. Bullets go through walls. There is a big difference between cover and concealment. Cover stops bullets, concealment does not. Most action movies screw this one up. It really is the little things that viewers can key in on. If you don't believe me check out any movie forum. You will find nit picking all over the place with no mention as to whether or not the movie is good.
* Continuity: If you are going to make a sequel you better have your story straight. In my mind Lucas totally abandon this with Episodes 1-3. He threw off the continuity of Episodes 4-6. Kevin Smith of all people I think understands continuity better than any director I have ever seen. The references he makes in his films to past movies showing that he understands movie goers are not stupid and builds in an automatic need to see the rest of his flicks to get the jokes in later movies.

I think that is going to do it for this edition. If I have left something out let me know. In closing "Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?"

Which he replies "what weird stuff is going on now?"

Just in the last 2 years since my ex-wife and I split up things have been nothing but weird in my life. My ex was trying to get me laid. She tried repeatedly to set me up with a friend of hers knowing it was just going to be for sex. I passed. I was scared of what the woman might be planning. About a month later I had been chatting with a woman in Georgia and she booked me last minute planes tickets to come out there for my birthday which just happened to be Labor day weekend. Of course I went. How many times is that going to happen in your life. I had to go.

The first time my ex met my current girlfriend she hugged her. Just walked right up to her and wrapped her arms around her. Creeped my girlfriend out.

3 years ago my girlfriend was my employee. At the time neither one of us acknowledged the attraction to each other. I was married and she was living with some one. Then after my ex wife and I split up and several months had passed I ran into a friend of my girlfriends who also worked for me back in the day (which was a Wednesday) and I had told her I was back in town and single but never mentioned current girlfriend. A short time later I received an email from my now girlfriend on MySpace asking if I remembered her. Me being me, I went straight for the kill (I know poor choice of words but I am listening to AC/DC right now and it seemed fitting), telling her I had always had a thing for her but because when we met I was married, she was with some body and she worked for me I had kept that to myself. Her reply, ditto.

That was just over a year ago and I have never been happier. It is weird when you get to have your fantasy. For 2 years she had appeared frequently in my fantasies. I had also appeared in hers. Then as time went on and we discussed people we knew from the past here in Chico, we were amazed how many people we both knew. I had even met her ex husband years ago. One of my former room mates was a friend of hers. Funny how life works out.

So let's see what other weird stuff have I gotten myself into. I once lived with a lesbian room mate who was dating a woman that had been part of the only threesome I have been a part of. That was a great 23rd birthday present but an experience that did not live up to the fantasy. Yes Sy before you start it was 2 woman and me.

In writing this I have been examining all aspects of my past. I spent 4 years in the Air Force where I lived 8- 10 years of experience. I have been to other countries. I spent 3 months in Panama and 2 in Honduras.

I have seen how the poorest of the poor live. I was in the middle of no where in Honduras.

I have see death and destruction. I lived in Oklahoma City at the time of the bombing and lost a dear friend. I got married the first time 12 days before it happened.

I have seen riots. I was in Panama when the labor riots started in 1995.

I have seen lives change over night. I have seen all four seasons in one day. I have seen hell freeze over. Any one that has ever lived in Oklahoma that is not from there will agree with that.

I swam with a shark. When I was stationed at Patrick AFB in Coco Beach Florida I used to swim in the ocean at night when I could not sleep. One night I felt something bump my leg. I look next to me and I saw a 4 ft shark. Now the shark never tried to bite me. The bump I felt was from its tale as it swam along side me. I could have reacted with the thought of how cool it was to have a shark just swimming next to me and enjoyed the experience. I wish I could tell you that is what happened. The truth however is that I shot straight up out of the water and flew through the air for 100 yards to the shore. Not a proud moment.

Before I left Florida in August of 1993 I was walking along the beach at night. I had switched to the walks after the shark incident. (Sy there may be an interview for your.) I saw something off in the distance by the water. I could not make out what it was. As I got closer I thought maybe 2 people were down there having sex. It was late and dark and I was still a good distance away. When I finally got close enough to see what it was I was surprised to see a sea turtle coming up on the shore to lay her eggs.

When I was in technical school in the Air Force I was in Biloxi Mississippi stationed at Keesler AFB. The only redeeming value that Biloxi has are the 2 following things. 90 minutes west and you are in New Orleans. At 18 my little green card (military ID) got me into any bar on Bourbon Street. You go 90 minutes east and you are in Panama City Florida. Lots of fun but I recommend not staying in the small town 20-30 miles inland that we had chosen for the cheap hotel room. Let me explain. We went into this little town on Friday night and went into the pool hall. We were minding our business not talking to any one. We were just shooting some pool. After about 30 minutes or so I looked around. I noticed 2 things.

1. Every woman in there was looking at us like they were about to throw us on the tables and molest us.

2. Every guy in there was looking at like they were going to stake us down to the pool tables and beat us to death.

We left very soon after that.

I have broken a heart or 2 and have had mine handed to me on a silver platter more times than I care to remember.

I have a mini me, AKA the Dude. His birth was nothing short of a miracle. My ex wife had thyroid cancer and had the surgery to have it removed and then a follow up radiation treatment. My son was conceived within a window of time that the radiation could have killed him or caused deformities. After the first sonogram he looked somewhat normal. After the second one I knew he was a little dude. It was not until he was born and I held in my arms that I was finally able to breath sigh of relief and cry tears of joy.

I have been a whore. I have been a drunk. I have been naive and ignorant. I still am in some ways.

I have seen a lot and I have done a lot and because of everything I have seen and done I have come to a couple conclusions about life. Life lessons as they were. I have learned the simplest pleasures are the best. I have learned to love with everything I am or not at all. Life is too short not to. I have learned life is not fair. I have learned that I still have a lot of learning to do.

Well this post started as one thing and evolved into something completely different. Seems to becoming the norm. In closing I will say this. It really is true, no matter where you go there you are and if you're not happy with where you're at then move.

Qualifications to be considered a movie whore.

1. Must have received gonorrhea of the eye from watching movies that are so bad they should be outlawed. Examples: Including but not limited to Zombie Nation, any sequel to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Transmorphers, Alone in the Dark or any other Uwe Boll movie.

2. You know what a Troma movie is and you watch them avidly. Examples: Toxic Avenger 1-4 and the cartoon. Tromeo and Juliet, Sgt Kabuki Man NYPD, Terror Firmer, Surf Nazi's Must Die and others.

3. Must be able to cross genres with your knowledge. Examples: Christopher Reeves was not only Superman but also made a movie with Jane Seymour (Yummy) called Somewhere In Time. You know that Russel Crowe worked with Denzel Washington prior to their latest theatrical outing and you know the name of the movie. Worth 5 cookies.

4. Know obscure shit. Examples: Christopher Lambert is a master swordsman that is nearly legally blind. Ellen Barkin was once in the Porn industry. Rebecca Demornay has a doctorate in Psychology. The Last Starfighter was the first movie to extensively use CGI and the technology was originally pithed to George Lucas for for the original Star Wars.

5. You own Xanadu. I do.

6. You have worked or currently work at a video store because you wanted to. Examples: I have done this twice. I actually worked in a video called Ray's video that had the most complete collection of movies in California and was next door to Ray's Liquor. So yes the original Clerks spoke to me on a very personal level. I can walk into a room and within 5 seconds name the movie on the TV even if I have not seen it. Give me the plot and I can name just about any movie that has come out in the 30 years. 5 cookies to anyone that can stump me. Using IMDB is cheating.

7. You know the movie this quote was used in. "No matter where you go, there you are." 5 Cookies to anyone that can name it with out looking it up and 5 more for being able to name 5 actors in the movie without having to look it up.

8. You thought the argument over whether or not destroying the second Death Star was morally wrong was one of the most brilliant things you have ever seen.

9. You re-watch movies you know are bad just because it has been a while since you have seen it. Examples: Refer to this article I wrote a while back.

10. You own or would like to own the following movies: Including but not limited to Ice Pirates, Big Trouble in Little China, My Big Fat Independent Movie, Xanadu, Starship Troopers, The entire Kevin Smith Collection, entire Mel Brooks collection, entire Monty Python collection, Any Godzilla movie that does not star Matthew Broderick, Far Out Man, The Last Star Fighter, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, and the Evil Dead Trilogy.

11. Lastly Bruce Campbell is one of your personal heroes.

I hope this clears things up a bit. I had a lot of fun writing this and did it with out having to look anything up. So it is with all confidence that I once again proclaim that I am The Movie Whore.

So Wednesday night I was like a kid the night before Christmas. I did not go to sleep until around 4 because I was so excited. Of course The Dude did not care that daddy had only 2-3 hours of sleep and coffee was not having it's normal effect. Around 12:30-1pm I saw the Fed Ex truck and reverted to being 8 years old. I began the process of pulling everything out of the boxes and systematically setting up the monitor, speakers, and tower. Then I turned it on.

Here is where things get interesting. I had also ordered the transfer cable because I had a lot of stuff on my old machine that I wanted to keep. So here I am on the floor in the living room with my new computer humming along while I am trying to get the old computer configured for the transfer. What I did not realize is that I was going to need the internet on both machines for little bit as I figured out how to transfer my Firefox bookmarks and passwords. I ended up using Google Browser Sync and it worked flawlessly. Now I was on the ground on all fours unplugging my Ethernet cable from one computer and plugging it in to the new one. Now keep in mind that every five minute I have Eddie (girlfriends 8 yr old daughter) and The Dude coming in the room to tell on each other. Things like this make me think that if you only have one you are not a real parent but that's another post. Where was my girlfriend? Being that she is smarter than me, she hid out in the bedroom reading knowing I was involved in this project and nothing would go smooth. I spent about 2 hours setting up the transfer yelling at kids, making dinner and being accosted by Uma (the dog) and Dartanian the cat.

OK so everything is transfered and I am ready to go right? Wrong. I sat down in my recliner and put the keyboard in my lap, grabbed the keyboard and began searching for my treasured files. First the start button is gone. Replaced by this little windows symbol. I click and I get this thing that kind of looks nothing like Windows. So I figure I would go to My Computer and look. My Computer is gone. You have to go through the start menu and click computer. Then the window looks nothing like the Windows Explorer window I have know and love. Hunting stuff down in Vista is an adventure of Indiana Jones proportions. It sure as hell looks pretty though, especially with the LCD flat screen monitor. Greg you were right about that. There seems to be a lot of extra stuff on here, more than what you have with Windows. If you want to tweak something or check your network connection you have to click about 4 times instead of just clicking the icon in the tray.

I have come to the conclusion that I have to take everything I know about PC's and flush it down the toilet. it's like learning how to use a computer all over again. I am sure I will comaplin about it from time to time. I am off to take the wookie Drewbacca to work (one of my friends, if you saw him you would under stand why we call him Drewbacca). Drewbacca is a wookie and lives at Jeffs's house. Jeff's house is now the Millennium Falcon and Jeff is Jeffe Solo (pronounced Heffay). This does not make sense. Not even in my warped little mind. Have fun kids.

This usually ends up with the parents calling family and friends or shelling out big cash to have their kid in a program or daycare. If they can't find anything then they have to take time off work. There really are not that many employers that are sympathetic to this nor should they be. Your kid is your responsibility not theirs. You made a commitment to your employer to be at work and in return they give you money. This comes from a parent of 2 kids. The schools job is to educate our children. If our kids need this break then why not make the school year shorter. Of course then we as parents still need to have the summer taken care of but at least then it is something consistent that we can plan for.

I already can hear "they give out a schedule at the beginning of the year" and really if that is all you have then wake up and join the discussion. Yes I am a little hot on this issue and have taken the tongue out of the cheek. If you need this reference explained, please do us all a favor and stay indoors.

Normally I try to leave emotion out of my posts but this is one that really gets under my skin. I would file this under rant. That means that I am in no way trying to present a rational or intelligent argument. It means that I am venting and I am not really concerned about offending anyone. Actually with my mood this morning the more offended you are the happier I will be. We all have those days from time to time. This is one of those days. I am angry about a great many things that are going on in our country and this topic just happened to be the straw that broke the camels back. As always I invite your comments as I believe that blogging is not a spectators sport. It is a participatory event.

Now back to the kids. I love my kids. But my kids can drive me crazy faster than any one. It's because they know you won't actually follow through on some of the threats we as parents throw out there. Our kids know how to push our buttons and when you take them out of their structured environment and give them free time and then give them paranoid parents that will not let them do all the stuff we did as kids because we have seen too many horrific news reports about child predators. If I had a week off as a kid and one of my parents were at home, they would not have seen much of me anyway. I would leave the house at 9 or 10am and be gone all day until near dark. I grew up on Heather Circle just off 5th Avenue and Mangrove. My play area went from Hooker Oak Elementary to Lindo Channel. I had from Sheridan to Mangrove. I had a big space to go play and have fun. I had a big area to find new and different ways to nearly kill myself on a daily basis doing something stupid like kids do. Now we are so protective of our children that we are stealing their childhood away. I realize I have gone another route but hey this is how my brain works. Even though I am aware of this I still have same fears as the rest of you. Somewhere along the way we as parents forgot the freedom we had when we were young and replaced those memories with our fear. Every so often when we get together with other parents we talk about those memories but the conversation always ends the same. Even when I am out and about and see some kids doing the same things I did as a kid I always think "do their parents know where they are?"

So now back to the week off. Yesterday I had dinner with my girlfriends family. One of her Uncles is a teacher. His statement was that the kids are still in for 185 days and he gets paid for 185 days regardless of how they split it up and he likes having the time off. That may or may not be a typical answer for a teacher. I don't know, I have not talked to enough teachers. Let's say for the sake of argument that it is the typical response. Then here is my answer. Hey moron your job is teaching kids and you get the summer off. Why in the blue hell do need any more time off. The rest of us that are not teachers get little to no time off and we work 52 weeks a year. If we are lucky we get the occasional holiday off. Try stepping into the real for a while and then maybe you will understand what this puts us through. I am a little over the top on this and that is on purpose. Some times going over the top is the only to get any ones attention. Normally I like to take a calmer and more intelligent approach but some times it just feels good to let go and rant like a mad man and damn the consequences. To sum I can end my argument in one simple statement. Life is not fair and if you expect anything different, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

* Show me a man that does not watch porn and I will show you a corpse.
* If at all possible take a nap with a friend.
* Some people are born stupid others have to work at it. Which are you?
* If you ever feel the need to justify what you are about to do, then you know it's wrong.
* If there is no snow on the ground then there is no reason for it to be cold.
* Do something nice every day and don't tell anyone.
* Learn something new every day.
* All I have to do in this life is die. The rest is optional.
* If you feel you have to do something try not doing it once in a while just to see what happens.
* Laugh at yourself.
* Do something passionately every day.
* Tell some one you love them.
* Say I love only if you mean it.
* Don't lie to others.
* Don't lie to yourself.
* Own at least one pet.
* If your kids never say "I hate you" your are doing it wrong.
* Take a moment for yourself.
* Regret nothing but own up to your mistakes.
* Show me a person with ADD and I will show you a blogger.
* If you don't have ADD try Stumble Upon.
* Behind every good man/woman is someone just aching to take him/her down.
* If you move to a new city take a day to get lost and find your way home.
* Forget about forgiving and accept.
* Do something silly every day.
* I like cheese.
* Speaking of salsa where is my hamster?
* If you have no singing ability what so ever remember that before you get drunk on Karaoke night.
* Karaoke is Japanese for tone deaf.
* Do not mess with peoples phobias.
* If man was meant to jump from great heights he would not need a parachute or a bungee cord.
* Learn to make a perfect omelet.
* Don't go into the woods if you are the slowest person in the group.
* Never poke a supposed dead body.
* Don't discriminate. Hate everyone equally.
* Give a homeless person your change.
* Don't believe anything you see on TV.
* Swear when it is appropriate.
* Enjoy the simple pleasures and be annoyed by complicated things.
* Talk to yourself.
* Answer yourself.
* Don't argue with yourself. That's when the guys in the white coats show up with an I love me coat.
* Do something stupid for the sake of doing something stupid. You know like posting a blog of laws you make up as you go.

P.S. In case your wondering the puppy in the picture is a full grown chihuahua queens land heeler mix. A little freak of nature but one of the loves of my life, and yes she naps with me frequently.

Now I know people that work there that are being pretty tight lipped because they need there benefits and are afraid of being fired. If they talk to anyone. So I know only what is in this article. However I used to work there so I have my own ideas of what is going on. You know I predicted this with the article I wrote about my worst employer ever, talking about my experiences working there. I would be willing to take a guess that the jobs not being shipped to Redding are going over seas.

Blue Shield takes 150 jobs out of Chico and this pathetic little news blurp is all we get. Are you serious? Again I say that we impose a tax on companies that ship jobs over seas. Charge them a tax per position equal to the total compensation value of each position then see how cheap it is for them to put Americans out of work. I am so sick and tired of watching American companies sell out their own country. Any one that encourages this activity needs to remove their head from their butt post haste. I could go on but I am finding that my emotional attachment to this subject is making it difficult to go on a full blown rant. Aw F*** it. A ranting we will go.

Keep in mind this is a poorly thought out rant and I may make assumptions that are not true. I am ranting irrationally. I can live it if you can. If you can't then move along there is nothing to see here.

Ok I am pissed the hell off. Evey time a company ships a job overseas it adds to the financial stress of the nation. If jobs are being shipped overseas it encourages Americans to save money not spend it out of fear that they will be next. By not doing anything to deter this practice our government is helping the corporate world destroy our economy, then these corporate twits have the audacity to complain and whine about a problem they created. Until the government does something to curb this practice the economy is not going to bounce back no matter how many rebate checks they send out. These douche bag CEO's and executives need to be publicly humiliated for the greedy selfish bastards they are. This is why i have no faith in the stock market and feel we should go back to privatley owned companies and do away with the publicly owned company concept. It then forces you to make decisions based on what is best for the company not what will increase the stock holders gains. Think about it. If you want to give away shares of your company then give them to the employees and no one else. No one has the right to profit off some one else's work. To those that defend this business practice I suggest removing your head form your butt and take a look around at the reall Americans that are suffering because of you and your like. Ok I think I am done. Keep in mind that was rant and was not thought out and I am sure it is filled with wrong assumptions. I don't care that is what a rant is.

If you have no idea what I am talking about then I suggest watching this movie immediately. This is easily one of my all time favorite movies and has a cult following that rivals any other movie. yes, even Rocky Horror.