Dating Up?
There is nothing more exciting to a single girl than the prospect of a first date. Suddenly you find yourself full of optimism at the anticipation of possibly, finally, meeting “The One.” A naturally caustic nature, developed over numerous bad dates and single months, is thrown out the window and replaced with an idealistic sanguinity.
It is this anticipation of the best possible outcome which sometimes permits otherwise reasonable single girls to make exceptions to their dating criterion, and embark on experiences with men who possibly border on substandard.
I very recently found myself in this dreadful dating conundrum. I began chitchatting with a man, whom, had I been thinking clearly, never would have gotten past, “Hi, what’s your name?” but instead, through the mystic power of desperation, had been allowed to converse with me at a local Chico hangout. His overflowing abundance of confidence started pooling at my feet as soon as he began speaking, and in a very short amount of time I was plotting fervently my escape from this egocentric individual, while trying to keep my expensive shoes from getting covered in his blithe interface.
When I got home, and removed the slather of assertion I was covered in, I sat down to ponder this situation. How did someone with a complete lack of socially accepted behavior procure the confidence to approach a cool chick like me? Was I giving off a signal which led him to believe it was gratifying to be approached by an odious male? Or was he so foolishly convinced of his modish traits, he felt we were somehow on the same level? I was so clearly in another league.
Which opened another quandary, are there dating levels?
Is there a cosmic ranking system of human quality, which is used to classify whom we should, and should not, date? And if so, is it faux pas to date up or down?
This led me to another recent experience. There is a male-type-drink-server in town whom I have a colossal crush on. I have modestly flirted with said male, but that has been the extent of our interaction. It’s not that I’m a shy person, or that I feel guys need to make the first move. The fact of the matter is, I am so completely intimidated by him, I wouldn’t know where to start. He is gorgeous, and funny, and extremely outgoing, and I trip over my tongue every time I try to talk to him. Flirtatious banter comes out as haphazard blather, my cheeks turn red, and I often feel like Simon just told me I wasn’t going to Hollywood while Paula and Randy snicker in the background. He is so clearly out of my league.
So maybe there are people who are just out of our league. And possibly it is dating people in a different league, or even different game, which leads to incompatibility in relationships. My inability to effectively communicate with either of these two men is a perfect example of this. Neither of them understood my intentions, caught my hints, or were really interested in me at all. There are different rules, different fouls, and timeouts mean two different things. And although the idea of getting moved up from the minors is fun, would I ever be good enough?
Perhaps that’s my problem, I’ve just been dating outside my league!
Technorati: relationships, dating, men, dating up, league