Iconoclastic

What is love? Is love the uncontrollable desire for his body? Is it an all consuming, absolute, uncontrollable emotion? Is it life altering and fervent? Or is love simple, and uncomplicated, effortless? Is it solid, and comfortable, and pure? Recurring and unyielding? Is love the uncontrollable yearning that devours you, until you both are left feeling empty and drained, and the passion fizzles away and you slowly fade into the future? Or is love a craving for companionship fulfilled; a connection between two souls, support, encouragement, and security; everlasting? Is love a night filled with bodily passion, or is it a night spent holding each other after a long day? Is it vulnerability, or strength? Is love turning your back on him, and allowing him to go his own way, because all you truly want is him to be happy? Or is it clinging and fighting, because the wounds of the battle would be worth the reward of having him love you back? Is it real and genuine and unadulterated? Or is it unreliable, weak, and insubstantial? Is it true, or fake? Authentic or counterfeit? Forged in reality or a dream? Is love the stuff life is made of, or is it the stuff life is constructed around?

We all know what love is, and yet when I try to describe it, words fail. A definition is lacking, and without definition, how can it be real. And if it is not real, why do I feel so lost without it? Is love simply a state of mind, could I just easily say, "I am in love," and have it be true? Or is it the need to feel loved in return that I am really craving? And if that is the case, how do I achieve this state of mind? Reciprocation or conference? What does it mean when I say, "I love you?" Do I mean I have profound feelings for the person you are, or do I mean I have extreme thanks for how you make me feel? Is it selfless or selfish? Give or take? Fill or be fulfilled?

I thought love was friendship, solid and unyielding, mixed with passion and sprinkled with sexual desire. I thought love was being there for each other, developing a relationship both in and out of the bedroom (or kitchen, or living room, or shower). Knowing each other body and soul. But I seem to find these two facets estranged, as if there has been some large skirmish between the heart and the mind, causing the two to disengage. This conflict between the ability to love sexually and the ability to love emotionally has caused me to become confused and unable to break through the inconsistency. I want so badly to have them both, but it seems an unachievable dream. Am I shooting for the stars, setting unrealistic goals, being too romantic? Or have I just not found the right situation, the right guy, the right moment? Am I being unreasonable and setting myself up to fail, or should I keep forging on? Can I find contentment without success, or am I doomed to a life of melancholy? Will I ever be enough for someone to love, or will I always fall just shy of the mark?

Is love finite, or is it an amalgamation? What is love?

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