The Wonderful World of Dating: Acrimonious Relationships
Acrimonious relationships; meaning relationships in which we portray a harsh, sharp image (image being the key word here); are, in my opinion, an expectation of women in today’s society.
Women are told to keep a man you must not be needy (a.k.a. communicate your wants and desires), dramatic (a.k.a. set boundaries or stick up for yourself when being treated badly), or possessive (a.k.a. wanting definition of a relationship); in summary, you must not express emotion at all. Instead, we are expected to put forth and image of fun and excitement and unending happiness. This impassive façade - and a façade it is - allows women to escape the ever impending label of crazy girl, Drama Queen, or whichever other derogatory term men use to describe the women in their life. Women who simply know what they want, and how to ask for it.
No one wants to be the crazy girl!
There are examples of this expectation everywhere; in fact just yesterday I heard a commercial for a hamburger, in which two guys were talking, describing the perfect woman. She never called, nagged, or presented herself as needy in any way. She was so perfect, in fact, that she had never uttered the words ‘I love you’, and therefore, was worthy of marriage in their eyes.
The offensiveness of this particular commercial is obvious, and would be a wonderful topic of another blog, and many books on advertising in America; and as most politically minded people know, there are many examples of violence against women in advertising. But all of that aside, the point is this: the message sent to women is clear:
You will not be desired by men if you do not control your emotions.
I find this message permeating society today. And the solution I have found to the conundrum of being an emotional creature, whom is not supposed to have emotions: portraying myself as a little obtuse, a little brusque. Dare I say it, acrimonious.
This way I am fending off the accusations of ‘needy possessive Drama Queen only looking to trap her a man’. Instead I get to contend with the label of ‘Man-hating caustic female-type-dog only looking to castrate her a man’.
Is there a happy medium?
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears every Wednesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, acrimonious, drama queen, crazy girl
Comments
There is a happy medium. The men who label you a 'needy possessive Drama Queen only looking to trap her a man' are scared of commitment from a beautiful woman. The men who label you a 'Man-hating caustic female-type-dog only looking to castrate her a man' have probably tasted a bit to much of your down home honesty and country grown sass, and feel a little threatened by it.
Keep on doin’ what it is you do so well.
REPLY: thanks j.t., this down home coun-try girl appreciates it!
Posted by: J.T. | March 21, 2007 12:10 PM