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April 30, 2007
April 27, 2007
Top 10 Annoying Office Habits
We all have worked with that one person who, no matter what they do, simply drives us nuts! Overbearing, obsessively rude, noisy, and opinionated. There are so many things that can be found annoying. So, what are some universally bad behaviors for office work? Well, here they are, the Top 10 Annoying Office Habits
1. You’re Not a Team Player
If the phone is ringing, and the receptionist is on the phone, answer it for her. It’s the nice thing to do. If someone left a piece of paper in the office copier, return it. It’s only polite. The toilet papers out in the bathroom. Well put another roll on the holder. It’s common courtesy, but if ignored, can make for some intense office enemies.
2. You’re Constantly on the Phone, for Personal Reasons
We all need to take a little personal time at work, scheduling a doctor’s office, checking in with the kids, confirming a lunch date with a friend. If your boss needs to put in a separate line to facilitate your personal business, it’s a little excessive. And trust me, your office co-workers don’t want to overhear every detail of you and your lovers big fight, or the make-up session afterwards.
3. You’re Always Late
Your running late on Monday because your keys were lost under a pile of dirty clothes from Saturday night. No big deal, we’ve all been there. You’re late every morning because you just can’t get your lazy butt out of bed. That’s super annoying. Work starts at 8, everyone else has to be there, and you’ll create some quick resentment if you feel the rules somehow don’t apply to you.
4. You’re Smell is Permeating the Office
Someone who smells like they haven’t showered for a week will bother most anybody, but someone who smells like they bathed in a perfume store bothers people too. Just because you like your perfume choice, doesn’t mean the rest of the office will enjoy it as well, in fact, there are many people who are sensitive to smell, and you could be the cause of someone going home for the day because of a massive headache. Save the heavy perfume for the big date night, for work, stick to light floral scents.
5. You’re Loud
Concentration at work is a must. Someone talking loudly, no matter what they’re talking about, is a serious distraction. When you answer the phone, talk to a co-worker, or mumble to yourself about how much you love your job, remember someone next to you may be trying to get something important done, so keep a check on your volume. That goes for noisy equipment like paper shredders and vacuum cleaners fall under the same rule, try to be contentious and NEVER use them when someone is on the phone.
6. You’re Noisy
Tapping fingernails on the desk, smacking food or gum while chewing, slurping drinks, or even moaning and sighing constantly. These are noises that distract, annoy, and completely irritate many people. Especially if you are trying to get something done. Try to find ways to deal with your stress, that don’t cause stress in the people working around you.
7. You’re Sick
If you are sick, DO NOT COME TO WORK! It is rude and inconsiderate to come into the office if you have been throwing up all night. Whatever you have may be contagious, and the rest of the office dose not want to get your bug. If the entire business as you know it is going to fall into a black hole of death if you don’t get your sick butt out of bed and take care of something, try to be courteous. Don’t breathe, cough, or sneeze around anyone’s desk, and once all world catastrophes are adverted, please go home!
8. You’re a Slob
When you eat at work, clean your dishes. Pick up your desk before leaving for the day. Make sure all garbage makes it into the can. And NEVER leave anything in the bathroom that shouldn’t be left there, especially on the toilet seat! If you’re using something other people have to use, like a copy machine, office supplies cupboard, of filing cabinet – you should always make sure you leave it in the same, if not better, condition than you found it. Unless your office staffs a personal maid, it is rude to expect your coworkers to clean up after you, it won’t make for friendly relations.
9. You’re Possessive
This is “MY” office, these are “MY” files, this is “MY” copy machine – even though 15 other people use them, they are “MINE”. That is one fast way to put-off the people around you. Possessive pronouns are demeaning, and childish, and even if you are the owner of the company, you should never refer to anything multiple people use as “MINE”. It turns people off, and doesn’t promote team work, and it will make people not want to be around you, since everything is “MINE”.
10. It’s Impossible to Talk to You
It is important to listen as much as you talk. Wither it’s about personal life, business life, or just a quick question. Make sure you listen to what the person is saying before you respond, don’t cut people off or assume you know what they’re trying to say before they finish. It makes it very hard to talk to you, and people will quit attempting. And remember, someone asking a question is not a reflection of you’re work ability – it is them trying to figure something out – so don’t defensive, just answer the best you can and move on.
~ ~ ~
Top 10: a snarky start to the weekend with a Top 10 look at love and life, appears every Friday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, kissing, Top 10, office, annoying
April 26, 2007
Vampires
I found this picture on this website, which has some very funny comics.
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Polly Ticks: a snarky look at the happenings in the world today entangled in female perception, appears every Thursday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, vampires, health care, comics
April 24, 2007
Quotable Thoughts: Reading Test
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.
THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanighuh?
~ ~ ~
Quotable Thoughts: a look at the words of wisdom from other’s, with a twist of personal commentary, appears every Tuesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, reading test
April 23, 2007
His & Hers: First Date Advice
Featuring guest writer: Jordan Frazer
The first date… pure torture!?! There is the outfit, the location, the hair, the breath, and 50 billion other things you’re so busy worrying about, you forget to be yourself. It’s like an American Idol audition, and although the judge may not be criticizing you on national television, it doesn’t mean they are any less harsh then Simon on a bad day. So what are the keys to mastering that first date experience? What is that person you’re meeting for coffee looking for? And what talents will you be judged on? Let’s ask our resident dating experts for their advice.
He Said:
The first date thing can be a horrid experience...it can also turn out to be a great time. From a guy's perspective its nerve wracking. You want to be creative, but not too weird; spontaneous, but not a spaz; assertive, but not aggressive. Girls, here's some advice to make things a bit easier on your future prospective mate.
Voice Your Opinon: He's got you on the phone, says he's thinking about going to some restaurant and you're thinking "I hate that place, it's a hole". Tell him. He'd rather know that you're not into his idea than take you somewhere you're going to be miserable at. Been dying to try someplace? Speak up and say so!
Be On Time: Nothing is worse for a guy than showing up at your door to have your mom/dad/brother/roomie/whatever say you're about 30 minutes behind and then sit him down to grill him while you primp. Even if they're being friendly it's still a bit uncomfortable and not the way to start a first date.
Don't Go Changing Things: This goes for "blind" first dates. With internet dating so popular right now the first "real" date is just like a blind date. Pictures don't do you justice and you're going to look different. So if you tell him you'll be at a certain place wearing a red sweater and blue jeans, be there, wearing that. Don't decide you like the yellow dress better that day...it's hard enough for guys to walk up to a total "stranger" and ask if they're so-and-so without it being the wrong person.
Three's a Crowd: I know first dates are a bit scary for you gals. I get it. But if you're planning on bringing someone along with you, mention it BEFORE the date begins. Chances are good that we'll say "no problem" if we really like you.
Cut and Run is Okay: Not having fun on a date sucks, Want to cut the date short? Okay, do it after dinner but before the movie. If you're not having fun, we're probably not either and we'd rather it be cut short and save time and money than continue to waste time and money.
On the Other Hand: Had a great time? Me too! Want to lean in and kiss me? For goodness sakes do it. Want to invite me in? That's fine too. It's a brave new world. If you're comfortable and I'm comfortable then there's nothing wrong. If I'm not, I'll say so.
What are the Rules Again?: Now is it I have to call within 48 hours? Can't call before 48 hours? If I'm wearing red socks it means I'm compensating for other "short" comings? Forget the rules, please? Cut us some slack if we don't abide by whatever pre-conceived notion of how things are supposed to go. We didn't get the memo.
She Said:
Oh the first date. The outfit, the hair, the makeup. What will he think? Will I like him? Will he like me? Oh, the drama! That’s right gents, we are nervous as all heck too. So, here are a couple of things we’re looking for, to make this date night go as smoothly as possible.
Movie Theaters
A trip to the movies is never a good first date idea. There is no opportunity to talk and get to know each other, which is what women are looking for. Instead you are sitting next to someone you barely know in a dark theater filled with a whole bunch of other people you don’t know wondering when the movie will be over so you can talk. I understand dinner can be a big commitment, so start off with drinks at a restaurant, that way you can progress to dinner if things are going well – or not.
Dress is important
I’m not expecting an Armani suit for dinner at Tres, but something a little better than holey jeans and a dirty tee shirt would be nice. Girls focus on clothes. And you can bet we’ve tried on at least three outfits to see what accents the butt and makes us look skinny. We go through this hassle because we’re interested in you, and we will interpret your lack of attention to appearance as you not being very interested in us. So save your favorite grunge tee shirt for date three, pull out the button up collar and try to impress. And on the topic of personal hygiene, please comb your hair, do not wear a hat on a first date unless you are going to a baseball game or a rodeo, and one spray of cologne is enough, no really, you don’t need to wear the whole bottle, if I like the smell, I will lean in to get some more of it, as opposed to covering my face with a napkin to escape it.
Chit Chat
There are appropriate things to talk about on the first date, and there are the things you should steer clear of. Your crazy ex, your obsession with feet, or the love of your life who cheated on you are topics that should be avoided at all costs. I would also recommend not talking about your macho need to beat people up, your best “drunk-with-the-guys” stories, or any incident that involves a stripper. These stories don’t actually impress girls, they get us searching for the nearest bathroom with a big enough window to fit out of.
The next day call
So, the date went well. There was a sweet goodnight kiss at the end. And you wake up in the morning excited that you’ve met this awesome girl. CALL HER. That’s right. Chances are, if you think she’s great, she thinks the same about you. So call her and thank her for the wonderful time you had, possibly make plans to hang out later in the week, but whatever you do, don’t make that totally male move and wait 48 hours to call. Nothing will interest into annoyance faster then sitting by the phone waiting for him to call.
~ ~ ~
Men and women throughout the ages
Have had diverse points of view
Hers is this, His is that
Which one works for you?
Jordan Frazer is the author of the blog Buying the Cow. He is a 27 year old resident of Susanville, who survived the dating scene and got married about 18 months ago.
His & Hers: a male vs. female point of view, appears every Monday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, she said, his & hers
April 19, 2007
Polly Ticks: 25 Ways to Be a Good Republican
I was sent an e-mail recently, titled "17 Ways to Be a Good Liberal", which I quickly opened and read. I am always striving to be a better hippie-feminist-tree-loving-man-hating-liberal-woman, and I truly appreciated someone thinking of me when they saw this. After I got up and got a tissue because I was crying from laughing so hard, I began to think. Since someone took the time to write me an e-mail with narrow-minded stereotypical judgments on my liberal nature, wouldn't it be impolite to not respond in the same attitude. After much consideration, I decided that it would be rude, and it was my duty... nay nay... my responsibility to the public in general to respond with advice on how to be a good Republican. So, I composed "25 Ways to Be a Good Republican"
1. You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong, because it’s a communist country. But trading with China and Vietnam is justifiable.
2. You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Clinton and Monica, but Bush needed to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because there are just some things Americans don’t need to know.
3. You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution – which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the internet
4. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a we-can’t-find-Bin Laden diversion
5. You have to believe that waging war with no exist strategy was wrong in Vietnam, but right in Iraq
6. You believe that tobacco’s link to cancer and global warming are “junk science”, but Creationism should be taught in schools
7. You have to believe that universal health care is wrong, and that HMO’s and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart
8. You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money
9. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don’t have condoms they won’t have sex
10. You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits
11. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you – and Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and liberals
12. You have to be against a woman’s right to choose, but support the murder of millions by air strike
13. “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India so you can get products from WalMart
14. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don’t pray to Allah or Buddha
15. You have to believe that government should stay out of people’s lives, but needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the same gender
16. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own
17. You have to believe the ACLU is bad, because it supports the Constitution, but you support the NRA wholeheartedly
18. You have to believe that we actually went to war in Iraq to find WMD’s because they were a clear and present threat to the United States
19. You have to believe Bill Clinton getting a blowjob in the Oval Office is appalling, but Newt Gingrich serving his wife with divorce papers on her deathbed is A-OK.
20. You have to believe that Fox News is fair and balanced
21. You’re not ashamed to tell everyone you believe in God, but feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and doing unto others as we would have others do unto us sounds like socialism
22. You have to believe that Clinton inhaling once is the sign of moral defect, while Bush’s drinking and driving was excusable because he was young
23. You have to believe that spending money on the war in Iraq is more important then fighting the drug dealers and gang members whom are harming American’s
24. You have to believe that it is much more important to know about all the dirt in a candidates past, then it is to listen to his beliefs and political ideas – unless of course he is a Republican
25. You have to believe that this message was authored by a left-wing pinko socialist bleeding heart liberal.
~ ~ ~
Polly Ticks: a snarky look at the happenings in the world today entangled in female perception, appears every Thursday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, republican, bush, politics
April 18, 2007
The Wonderful World of Dating: The Wedding Ring Coffin
With divorce rates at an all time high, almost 1% of the population getting divorced every year, and an estimated 1 out of every 2 first marriages ending in divorce, there is an overabundance of wedding rings in circulation. Considering most American adults marry twice, and divorce, resulting in the abandonment of four beautiful pieces of jewelry, the question may divorcees are asking is, “What do I do with the ring?”
Well, an internet company has found the perfect solution:
The Wedding Ring Coffin
“When a marriage dies, what should be doen with the wedding ring? Until now, millions of wedding rings have been banished to remote corners of sock and underwear drawers. Now you can give these wedding rings the proper final resting place they deserve.”
~ ~ ~
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears every Wednesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, ring, death, coffin, divorce
April 17, 2007
Quotable Thoughts: ani difranco
some people wear their smiles like a disguise, those people who smile a lot, watch their eyes, i know ‘cause i’m like that a lot, you think everything is ok – and it is – ‘til it’s not.
~ ani difranco
Do you ever just smile? Because it’s easier to fake happiness then deal with being upset. Easier to be passive, and bypass aggressive?
When someone casually asks, “How are you doing?”
It is not socially acceptable to respond, “Well, my goldfish just died, I stubbed my toe last night and it still hurts, and I have a migraine coming on from the plethora of useless questions I’m asked throughout the day.”
What would people think of you if you countered in this manner - even if it is the truth? No, instead you are required by the keepers of the social norm to reply, “Fine, and you?” So whomever asked can feign ‘fine-nes’ as well.
So, maybe we all are guilty of wearing our smiles like disguises. We put on a smile and pretend to the world that everything is peachy-keen, because to do otherwise would somehow offend the masses. Discontent in not socially acceptable. And voicing said dissatisfaction, well that is societal suicide. You are then labeled as ‘un-happy’ or ‘emotional’ or, worst of all, bearing resemblance to a female-type-dog. And truthful, it is easier to put on that tried-and-true smile, and fake contentment, then deal with the communal reaction to your unhappiness.
So then, why do we feel obligated to ask people how they are? You bump into someone whom you haven’t seen in a while, and the first words out of your mouth are, “How are you?” They jump out there into the void before you have time to think about what you are saying. And then you sit there annoyed, because this person, this inconsiderate person, actually has the nerve to take your precious time and answer the question you’ve nonchalantly asked them.
So the question now is, why ask, if you don’t really want to know?
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Quotable Thoughts: a look at the words of wisdom from other’s, with a twist of personal commentary, appears every Tuesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, questions, how are you
April 16, 2007
His & Hers: Can We Talk?
Featuring guest writer: Jordan Frazer
From “Can’t We Talk?” (condensed from: You Just Don’t Understand)
By Deborah Tannen
A married couple was in a car when the wife turned to her husband and asked, “Would you like to stop for a coffee?”
“No, thanks,” he answered truthfully. So they didn’t stop.
The result? The wife, who had indeed wanted to stop, became annoyed because she felt her preference had not been considered. The husband, seeing his wife was angry, became frustrated. Why didn’t she just say what she wanted?
Unfortunately, he failed to see that his wife was asking the question not to get an instant decision, but to begin a negotiation. And the woman didn’t realize that when her husband said no, he was just expressing his preference, not making a ruling. When a man and women interpret the same interchange in such conflicting ways, it’s no wonder they can find themselves leveling angry charges of selfishness and obstinacy at each other.
(for full article click here)
He Said:
Let’s get one thing straight here: Men are from Mars, women from Venus. If you haven't read the book I suggest you do because it explains, in a light, humorous, non-offensive way what everyone knows already. Men and women, while all using the same words, are speaking totally different languages.
I can sympathize with the poor guy in this scenario, as I've been where he is many times. She's asked if I'd was interested in something, and then dismayed at my negative answer. It’s not the fact I'm not interested that bothers her, it's that SHE IS. The problem is, instead of saying what she wants, she tries getting some sort of affirmation on the validity of her feelings from me, and the lack thereof leaves her feeling insecure.
Ever seen White Men Can't Jump? Not a great flick but it's got a part where Woody Heralson's character is laying in bed with his girlfriend and she says she's thirsty. He offers to go get a glass of water. She becomes upset because she doesn't want a glass of water; she wants affirmation that he understands what it is to be thirsty. She's left mad, he's left confused.
I wish I had some sort of great advice on what to do when this situation comes up but I don't. Heck, I don't even know when this situation comes up; I fall into the quagmire of misunderstanding with my wife on a constant basis. The best I can come up with is this:
Men - Try to listen a bit more and instead of offering a simple "yes" or "no" answer, engage in dialogue with your partner about what it is they are thinking about the subject.
Gals - Say what you mean, mean what you say. If you want coffee say something like "pull over here and buy me a cup of coffee" or "I'm interested in taking underwater yoga classes and want you to come along with me".
She Said:
How many times have I been there? You think you’re communicating, being clear, being polite. Your girlfriends would have understood. And yet, there you are, so mad you could spit nails, because once again, he just didn’t get it!
“Why didn’t you just say that?” he asks, when you calm down enough to explain why you’re mad.
“I thought I did.”
It’s a conundrum as old as time, how do we get men and women to understand one another? Do we speak two different languages? Are men from Mars and women from Venus? (SIDENOTE: after much discussion with some of my more brilliant female friends we have concluded that some men may be from Uranus… which could add to the communication problem).
I read a plethora of dating articles and it seems the experts all advice better communication for healthy relationships. But if, like Deborah Tannen suggests, we are communicating on different levels, and with different goals, how do we achieve “better” communication?
How do I say, “I want coffee!” with still respecting the wants of my partner?
~ ~ ~
Men and women throughout the ages
Have had diverse points of view
Hers is this, His is that
Which one works for you?
Jordan Frazer is the author of the blog Buying the Cow. He is a 27 year old resident of Susanville, who survived the dating scene and got married about 18 months ago.
His & Hers: a male vs. female point of view, appears every Monday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, she said, his & hers, talk, communication
April 13, 2007
Top 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorce
Forbes, one of the leading financial magazines, released on Thrusday the top 10 costliest celebrity divorces. So here it is folks The Top 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorce’s
10. Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall
Estimated Settlement: $15-$25 million
9. Lionel & Diane Richie
Estimate Settlement: 20 million
8. Michael & Diandra Douglas
Estimate settlement: $45 million
7. James Cameron & Linda Hamilton
Estimated Settlement: $50 million
6. Paul McCartney & Heather Mills
Settlement pending: Possibly more than $60 million
5. Kevin Costner & Cindy Silva
Estimated Settlement: $80 million
4. Harrison Ford & Melissa Mathison
Estimate Settlement: $85 million
3. Steven Spielberg & Amy Irving
Estimated Settlement: $100 million
2. Neil Diamond & Marcia Murphey
Estimate settlement: $150 million
1. Michael & Juanita Jordan
Settlement Pending: Possibly more than $150 million
* All information taken from Forbes *
~ ~ ~
Top 10: a snarky start to the weekend with a Top 10 look at love and life, appears every Friday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, Top 10, celebrity divorce
April 11, 2007
The Wonderful World of Dating: A Gap
As I leaned in I knew he was going to kiss me. I felt it coming. But instead of excitement, I felt apathy. I have been here so many times before, and let myself believe it was more than it was. This was a relationship of comfort and mutual indifference, not a relationship of passion and never-ending devotion – regardless of what I wanted it to be.
I was suddenly uncomfortable. As his lips brushed mine I felt his hand caressing my shoulder and moving down my back. I felt his fingers trace out every bit of cellulite and imperfection as they slowly crept down my spine, and I waited in anticipation, wondering when he would pull away in disgust. This had never happened with him before. I had never felt insecure about myself like this. The message, “You’re disgusting, you’re disgusting, YOU’RE DISGUSTING!” was playing over and over in my mind. Screaming at me surely.
I pulled away first, I couldn’t stop myself. I pulled away and looked at him, expecting to see repulsion, repugnance. He looked back at me with hurt, and I watched as the insecurity filled his eyes. “What?” he said, the indignation filling the void now present between our bodies. I didn’t know what to say, what could I say?
“I think I’m falling for you all over again!?! And yet I have to pretend like I don’t care, like I don’t need, like I don’t feel. When all I want to do is let you hold me all night long.” How would he react to that?
Instead I lied, “I got a case of the giggles, sorry.”
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, I don’t know, I just giggled.”
And I rashly pulled him back to me, pressing my lips desperately against his. No matter how firmly we clung to one another, how despairingly we tried to fuse, there was a gap that could not be filled. A gap that was already possibly full. Packed with uncertainty, diffidence, self-conscious ramblings that beat us before we could be beat.
And now that I have acknowledged this gap, I can’t ignore it. It is there, staring at me, teasing me with the possibility of falling in, and never climbing back out. So the question is, do I stare back and fight my fear of falling, or do I look for a safer passage?
~ ~ ~
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears every Wednesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, gap, desperate, kissing
April 10, 2007
Quotable Thoughts: Writing Down the Bones
"We walk through so many myths of each other and ourselves; we are so thankful when someone sees us for who we are and accepts us."
From the Chapter Artistic Stability in Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
"The problem is we think we exist. We think our words are permanent and solid and stamp us forever. That's not true. We write in the moment. Sometimes when I read poems at a reading to strangers, I realize they think those poems are me. They are not me, even if I speak in the "I" person. They were my thoughts and my hand and the space and the emotions at that time of writing. Watch yourself. Every minute we change. It is a great opportunity. At any point, we can step out of our frozen selves and our ideas and begin fresh. That is how writing is. Instead of freezing us, it frees us. ... The power is always in the act of writing. Come back to that again and again and again. ... We constantly need new insights, visions. We don't exist in any solid form. There is no permanent truth you can corner...that will satisfy you forever. Don't identify too strongly with your work. Stay fluid behind those black-and-white words. They are not you. They were a great moment going through you. A moment you were awake enough to write down and capture."
From the Chapter We Are Not the Poem in Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
Some things are said so perfectly, they do not need explanation.
April 09, 2007
His & Hers: What Makes Women Fall in Love?
Featuring guest writer: Jordan Frazer
This is the intro to an article written for Men’s Health entitled 8 Ways to Make Her Swoon by Kristen Armstrong (Posted on askmen.com)
Aside from having a hot car and good looks, there are many things a man can do to make a woman flip for him. Many men feel as though they need to be puppy dogs to make woman happy – this is not the case. It is possible for you to maintain your identity and your masculinity, but still make your girl feel on top of the world. If you’ve just met a woman or are new to a relationship that you’d like to pursue, these tips will have her spinning and falling right into your arms.
He Said:
GO THE EXTRA MILE
A good friend told me once "matrimonial bliss is a bunch of flowers randomly presented." It's not that easy, and he didn't literally mean that it would be but I got the point. Just doing something nice to make her feel thought of and wanted goes a long ways in making sure things stay smooth.
TALK HER UP
I fall short here, and I admit it. I'm not talkative, I especially hate talking on the phone...call me the strong silent type. We fixed this when my wife and I were dating, though, by just hanging out together doing things we mutually enjoyed. It seemed that the shared experiences and feelings were enough to overcome the lack of lots of conversation.
SHOW HER YOU'RE SMITTEN WITH HER
This kinda goes back to #1. Only here it’s a matter of making sure that other people know you're crazy for her. Girls talk...a lot. So if you let it slip that you think your girl is the alpha and omega of all existence to one of her friends, it'll get back to your girl...and that's a good thing.
INCLUDE HER IN YOUR LIFE
I talked about this before. A little apart time is good...a lot is bad. It's important to do things together. Hopefully you and your girl can find something to do that you both enjoy but if you can't then BOTH parties need to suck it up sometimes and put on their smiley face even though they're having a miserable time. Additionally, BOTH parties need to minimize the amount of misery they inflict on the other party and perhaps miss a few events for the sake of their partner.
BE ORIGINAL
This usually comes with the territory, since she picked you in the first place, it must have been because she saw something in you that she liked that she couldn't find somewhere else. Figure out what that is and run with it!
HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
How obvious is this!?! Everyone likes to laugh and have a good time. This is pretty easy too...if you see something that she'd find humorous, point it out. Crack a joke at an oddly dressed person, repeat a quip you heard earlier in the day, sit down and watch Steve Martin's "The Jerk" together. See how easy it is.
REASSURE HER
Women wear their hearts on their sleeves. Hey, it's true, don't send hate mail. When I get mad I internalize, contemplate, and then let the air out of the tires of whoever is on my nerves. Women want to talk about it and made to feel better. At least I think they do. I'm bad at this. Half the time I can't figure out what my wife is upset at (she wouldn't want to just tell me, would she), and when I can figure it out I don't know what she wants to hear to feel better. If some guy figures this out he'll get a Nobel Prize, I swear.
BE A GOOD LISTENER
See previous. Women like to hide Easter Eggs and Landmines. Let me explain. Easter eggs are things like "My friend Katy went to Ft. Bragg last week and said it was great". Read: "I want to go to Ft. Bragg, take me there". If you pick up this Easter Egg you're rewarded, and all is well. Landmines are different, they go like this, "My friend Katy is really beautiful, isn't she". Run! Run away from the landmine and DON'T TOUCH IT. Call the bomb squad, get out of the country, take cover, hide under the bed...whatever. Don't touch. A good listener knows when he hears an Easter Egg and when he hears a Landmine and knows what to do with them.
She Said:
Well guys, being the expert in the ‘ways to make her swoon’ department, I have to give kudos to Kristen for narrowing it down to eight. If I were going to take on this topic, it would be ‘the 101 ways to Make Her Swoon’. What do I mean by that? No, I don’t mean that it’s easy to make a girl swoon – I’m just saying it’s not terribly difficult either.
After reading the article, I did a ton of thinking, and then I read the comments on the askmen.com site (to see what other like-minded individuals were saying) and then I did a ton more thinking, and I’ve come to this conclusion:
If you like someone and you’re not too scared to go out on a limb and show it, then you have completed step one.
Step two is waiting to see if they reciprocate the feeling. This is a difficult one, because they may not like you back, and that can hurt. But if they do like you back, then they are going to go out on that limb too – if they didn’t venture there first. Whatever the case, you are both out on the limb together, possibly scared of heights, and trying to balance this new relationship local.
Step three is figuring out how to balance on that limb, together.
There are a couple of things you will never be able to change. If that special someone isn’t willing to move out on the limb with you, if you both plummet to the ground because you just couldn’t seem to balance, or if the tree is stuck by lightening – killing that poor little limb. As long as you keep on being you, and pay attention to the ones you are in deep like with, then things will continue on the way their supposed to… no matter how many cheesy relationship advice articles you read and commit to memory!
Just climb back up that tree, and get ready to brave that limb one more time, because you never know, this time could be the last time you ever have to.
~ ~ ~
Men and women throughout the ages
Have had diverse points of view
Hers is this, His is that
Which one works for you?
Jordan Frazer is the author of the blog Buying the Cow. He is a 27 year old resident of Susanville, who survived the dating scene and got married about 18 months ago.
His & Hers: a male vs. female point of view, appears every Monday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, she said, his & hers
April 06, 2007
Top 10 Reasons it SUCKS to be the Easter Bunny
I was having coffee with Flopsy Hucklebunny yesterday (known to most as the “Easter Bunny”), and we were complaining to one another about the challenges we face in our professions. I was gripping about writers block, and the never-ending search for that one perfect word when, a couple minutes into my rant, I looked up and Flopsy was gazing at me with a quizzical look that is uniquely bunny.
“What?” I asked him, a little offended that he was not taking me seriously.
“Oh, you humans think you’ve got it so bad. Well, let me tell you a couple of things about being a holiday icon, and a bunny to boot.”
So folks, here they are, straight from the bunny’s mouth, the Top 10 Reasons it SUCKS to be the Easter Bunny…
1. The Trixx Rabbit, the Energizer Bunny and Little Bunny Foo Foo are relatives of yours
2. The tooth fairy has an obsession with your large front teeth and won’t quit stalking you
3. Finding Easter Eggs from last year is a job hazard
4. Dogs mistake you for a chew toy
5. People are constantly trying to rub you for good luck
6. Melted marshmallow Peeps are a pain to get out of your fur
7. It’s tough to impress the ladies dressed in pastel plaid
8. At the holiday icon convention you have to sit between St. Patrick and the Mardi Gras Joker, and their both drunks
9. There is the constant threat of making a mistake, and your feet being turned into key chains
10. You’re not ‘Bunny’ enough to get into the Playboy mansion
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Top 10: a snarky start to the weekend with a Top 10 look at love and life, appears every Friday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: easter, bunny, Flopsy Hucklebunny, peeps,
April 05, 2007
Polly Ticks: Triple-X Domain
The battle between freedom of speech and the internet is being waged on a new front. The governing board of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) rejected a proposal by ICM Registry to create a new internet extension: .xxx.
ICANN is a non-profit corporation headquartered in Marina Del Rey, California. They manage the assignment of domain names and IP addresses, a task previously preformed on behalf of the U.S. Government by IANA. (For more information on ICANN)
Voting took place in Lisbon, Portugal, on the final day of ICANN’s 28th International Public Meeting, whose members rejected the ICM Registry proposal 9-5. This vote ended a debate that has been raging since 2000, when the proposal was originally submitted to ICANN by ICM Registry.
One of the deciding factors, for the board members of ICANN, was the responsibility of deciding which sites should be .xxx and which should not. It is this issue which has faced much deliberation from both sides.
Proponents of the .xxx domain extension argue this will give the opportunity for the adult entertainment community to bring confidence and certainty to their online business while also offering society at large, wishing to avoid adult content, an easy and reliable filtering method.
The opposition finds the online adult-entertainment industry and religious conservatives fighting for the same cause. While the political right, particularly in the United States Australia and Brazil, are worried that the .xxx domain may offer a legitimate method for the adult-entertainment industry to deliver their content easily. The industry is concerned this new domain could place their sites into “an easily controlled online ghetto.”
So, what is the next step for the highly disgruntled ICM? It looks like they may be heading to court. “This will probably go into litigation,” ICM Registry CEO Stuart Lawley said. “There are multiple prongs for challenging the ICANN decision.”
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Polly Ticks: a snarky look at the happenings in the world today entangled in female perception, appears every Thursday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: xxx, domain names, ICANN, ICM Registry, first amendment, freedom of speech
April 04, 2007
The Wonderful World of Dating: A Moments Notice
Isn’t it weird how one moment he’s your everything and the next, it’s over, and now you may never speak to him again.
It happened so fast, the transition from light of my life to creator of my darkness. How strange it is to think I may never again talk to the person who, just yesterday, was my raison d'être. Why is this the way it works? Why, when we break up, do we cut off communication with someone who is so very important to us? Or was, until that fateful moment.
I miss him. I find myself scrolling through my phonebook and stopping on his number. My willpower struggling with my heart, do I call? The answer is always the same. I stare at his name, which I have been unable to delete from my phone, wishing silently he would call. I struggle to close my phone, as opposed to hitting that little green button which would connect my cell to his, a pitiable attempt to connect his heart to mine.
We spent so much time knowing one another. The daily mundane became exciting, when sharing it with someone who wanted to know. Our conversations would last for hours, recounting the events of the day, our hopes for the future, encouragement, support. He was my sounding board for decisions, my rock in a sea of turmoil. I came to rely on him, and all that he was giving me, without even knowing I needed it.
And then it was over. Just like that. No reason, no explanation, simply no call.
Finished, completed, concluded, terminated – the end!
I have never understood why severing contact is a requirement for ending a relationship. Why can’t we be friends afterwards? You invest days, weeks, months, possibly years into building a relationship with someone. Constructing not only a romantic attachment, but a way of belonging and working together – consanguinity. Attached to each other with affection and esteem. A relationship built with a friend and a lover. So when a romantic attachment is finished, dose the friendship have to be broken as well?
Many a physiologist will tell you, you need to create healthy boundaries, and friendship with a past lover can sometimes blur the lines. And it is possible that my wish is one of a disconcerted lover, whom is longing for some reminisce of an attachment, however feeble it may be. But I do still long to be friends with some of my relationships past. I chalk it up to my taste in men, to be comfortable being friends with them after the adoration (or pure passion) has ended. They must have just been wonderful guys!
~ ~ ~
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears every Wednesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, moments notice, friendship, the end
April 03, 2007
Quotable Thoughts: Success
I was doing some research for another article, when I came across this quote, “Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.” ~ Jim Rohn.
I truly believe we find pieces of information when they are going to benefit us the most. This particular quote may have gone in one ear and out the other two weeks ago, but I found it at a juncture in my life when it would benefit me – or at the very least, get me thinking about things. I have been struggling lately with my personal success. Have I gotten where I wanted to go, am I heading in a direction that I can be proud of, am I happy with where my life is? These are the questions I have been pondering.
Mr. Rohn, without even knowing it, helped me answer some of those questions.
It is such a simple, and yet profound idea. “Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.” Can this be true? Can I consider myself a success because I get up in the morning and go to work, giving my all? Or because I come home every night and cook dinner for my family? Because I take pride in the simple ordinary tasks of life?
I have always defined success as doing something grandeur, something the whole world would recognize. Making a lot of money. Owning my own fabulously large home. Buying that sports car I dream about. Going on the week long vacations to various tropical locations. I have always defined success in the physical, monetary, superficial gains I would receive from ‘being successful’.
I never stopped to think that I could be successful because I am a role model for a child. Because I am an asset to the company I work for. Because I am a good friend, confidant, lover.
And yet, when it comes down to it, aren’t these the hard things to be successful at?
What do you define success as?
For more information on Jim Rohn, check out his website here
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Quotable Thoughts: a look at the words of wisdom from other’s, with a twist of personal commentary, appears every Tuesday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, success, Jim Rohn
April 02, 2007
His & Hers: What Makes Men Fall in Love?
Featuring guest writer: Jordan Frazer
This is the intro to an article written for Men’s Health entitled What Makes Men Fall in Love? By David Zinczenko (Posted on Thursday March 15, 2007)
Judging from the kind of mail we get at Men’s Health from men seeking relationship advice, I can tell you this definitively about men: When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as single-minded sex-seekers, the truth is that a man’s stomach churns like a slushy machine when he’s in those initial stages of the perfect relationship.
When you consider that half of men say that they’re currently not with their soul mates, that means a heck of a lot of slushy machines are waiting to be turned on. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, and being in the right place at the right time tat kick-start many a relationship, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall – and stay – in love? About 60 percent of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship (sex comes in at a skimpy 8 percent, according to a national Harris Interactive poll), but let’s delve a little deeper. What exactly dose that mean, and what kind of woman dose a man really want? With full acknowledgement that men’s tastes in women are as unpredictable as the plotline of “24,” these are some of things that many men value in “the one.”
Click here for the full article
He Said:
Men's Health Magazine, aside from being a fantastic health and fitness magazine, regularly publishes articles about relationships. Recently they published a piece compiling the four major attributes that guys look for in prospective mates. These come from the hundreds of reader letters received each year. The headings are taken straight from the article, the comments are my take.
A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him
Hey, I like to be admired as much as anyone else but there comes a time where admiration turns clingy, and that's a major red flag. There's another huge problem with over-admiration, too. It puts a person up on a pedestal, expected to achieve goals that are way beyond his grasp, and when he can't live up to that high expectation, the crash is severe and ugly. Guys like to be admired as much as women, but we also like to see them have a passion for a hobby, fitness, their family, or whatever.
A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time
I like to hang out with my wife. We're friends, its why we got married. Friendship is good in a marriage. I also like to have some guy time, too. And it doesn't necessarily need to be other guy time, it might just be "this" guy time....as in alone time. No matter how cool a girl is hanging out with they guys, the group can never be as relaxed or free as when the ratio of X to Y chromosomes is 1:1. It's like I said in last week's piece, guys are friends because they share interests, so when a group of guys get together they want to discuss those shared interests without the feeling of excluding or boring the girls of the group.
A Woman with a Strut
A little self-confidence is a huge factor in finding a woman desirable and mate-worthy. A girl that can take my crap and return fire is nice. It's cool to have a girl on your side that can walk into the room like she owns the joint and then after a short time have everyone believing that she does.
A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties
Okay, I don't wear ties but you get the idea. This is a tricky area. We've all seen the guys (usually old) who walk out of the house wearing pastel plaid pants and a t-shirt with a huge iron-on horse on the front. These are guys who let their wives dress them and it's turned into some sort of cruel joke on the part of the woman. These guys are beaten and given up. My wife's a little better than that. Occasionally I'll put on some clothes to go out somewhere and she'll give me a look that clearly conveys "You can wear that if you want, but it won't be around me". Sometimes she's right and I re-think my dress, sometimes I just don't care and I stick with what I have on. It's nice to have a woman around with a little fashion sense to set you straight, as long as you don't end up the brunt of a long running fashion joke.
She Said:
When I read this article I thought a couple of things. First, this guy is a freaking genius! Just look at how articulate and honest he is. Second, is this true, can it really be this easy? And third, is David single? I’ll admit it, I was crushin’ a little. Well, I did a little digging around, and my genius David is dating some actress, but it still gave me some hope. Maybe there are guys out there who know how to express what they want, are attracted to confidence, independence, and a woman who has good taste. David confirmed that there is a slushy machine in there, however hidden it may be, which someday I possibly will find the on-switch too.
So, women of the world, here are the things we need to possess to produce feelings of love – not lust – in our sexual counterparts.
Passion in Something Other Than Him = Independence
That’s right, independence is sexy… very sexy. Think about it like this, would you want to be with a guy who desired to spend every second with you, called you ten times a day, and was waiting at your house for you when you got home? Honestly? No! You’d run screaming for the hills! If you don’t like it, he won’t either. Remember, to make a “we” it takes a “you” and a “me”. Adding a “me-consumed-with-you” is a recipe for disaster.
A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time = Trust
Him wanting to spend time with the guy’s doth not equal “I don’t like you anymore.” It simply means he needs some male bonding time, and do you really want to hang out with him while he grunts at a T.V. screen and practices his beer burp? No, since you are an independent woman, you have other things you want to do anyway, like catch up on that issue of Cosmo! Trust that he’s hanging with the guys because he misses his friends, and trust that when he’s done with the friends, he’ll miss you!
A Woman with A Strut = Confidence
Confidence is a magical elixir which intoxicates men, it is alluring. When it emanates from you naturally, he won’t be able to take his eyes off you. So practice being confident, remind yourself how beautiful you are on the inside and out, and what a catch you are to any man who gets you. If you know how wonderful you are, then there’s no way he’s gonna miss it!
A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties = A Woman with Good Taste, Period!
Sometimes we all need a little fashion help, you remember that call before your last date to your best friend – “Should I go with the jeans or the skirt?” We seek this advice for two reasons: we all want to look our best, and we all need to know someone cares enough to tell us we look fantabulos! Men are no different. So remember, he’s not looking for you to revamp his wardrobe. He wants to hear that you find him attractive (or possibly minor pointers that will make him irresistible) and he wants to know you care enough to pay attention.
So that’s it ladies. The men have told us it is this simple. Now it’s time to go out and test this advice!
~ ~ ~
Men and women throughout the ages
Have had diverse points of view
Hers is this, His is that
Which one works for you?
Jordan Frazer is the author of the blog Buying the Cow. He is a 27 year old resident of Susanville, who survived the dating scene and got married about 18 months ago.
His & Hers: a male vs. female point of view, appears every Monday right here at iconoclastic
Technorati: relationships, dating, he said, she said, his & hers, men in love, Men's Health, David Zinczenko