1. You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong, because its a communist country. But trading with China and Vietnam is justifiable.
2. You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Clinton and Monica, but Bush needed to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because there are just some things Americans dont need to know.
3. You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the internet
4. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bushs daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a we-cant-find-Bin Laden diversion
5. You have to believe that waging war with no exist strategy was wrong in Vietnam, but right in Iraq
7. You have to believe that universal health care is wrong, and that HMOs and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart
8. You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money
9. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers dont have condoms they wont have sex
10. You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits
11. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you and Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and liberals
12. You have to be against a womans right to choose, but support the murder of millions by air strike
13. Standing Tall for America means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India so you can get products from WalMart
14. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you dont pray to Allah or Buddha
15. You have to believe that government should stay out of peoples lives, but needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the same gender
16. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own
17. You have to believe the ACLU is bad, because it supports the Constitution, but you support the NRA wholeheartedly
18. You have to believe that we actually went to war in Iraq to find WMDs because they were a clear and present threat to the United States
19. You have to believe Bill Clinton getting a blowjob in the Oval Office is appalling, but Newt Gingrich serving his wife with divorce papers on her deathbed is A-OK.
20. You have to believe that Fox News is fair and balanced
21. Youre not ashamed to tell everyone you believe in God, but feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and doing unto others as we would have others do unto us sounds like socialism
22. You have to believe that Clinton inhaling once is the sign of moral defect, while Bushs drinking and driving was excusable because he was young
23. You have to believe that spending money on the war in Iraq is more important then fighting the drug dealers and gang members whom are harming Americans
24. You have to believe that it is much more important to know about all the dirt in a candidates past, then it is to listen to his beliefs and political ideas unless of course he is a Republican
25. You have to believe that this message was authored by a left-wing pinko socialist bleeding heart liberal.
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