Iconoclastic

He Said:
GO THE EXTRA MILE
A good friend told me once "matrimonial bliss is a bunch of flowers randomly presented." It's not that easy, and he didn't literally mean that it would be but I got the point. Just doing something nice to make her feel thought of and wanted goes a long ways in making sure things stay smooth.

TALK HER UP
I fall short here, and I admit it. I'm not talkative, I especially hate talking on the phone...call me the strong silent type. We fixed this when my wife and I were dating, though, by just hanging out together doing things we mutually enjoyed. It seemed that the shared experiences and feelings were enough to overcome the lack of lots of conversation.

SHOW HER YOU'RE SMITTEN WITH HER
This kinda goes back to #1. Only here it’s a matter of making sure that other people know you're crazy for her. Girls talk...a lot. So if you let it slip that you think your girl is the alpha and omega of all existence to one of her friends, it'll get back to your girl...and that's a good thing.

INCLUDE HER IN YOUR LIFE
I talked about this before. A little apart time is good...a lot is bad. It's important to do things together. Hopefully you and your girl can find something to do that you both enjoy but if you can't then BOTH parties need to suck it up sometimes and put on their smiley face even though they're having a miserable time. Additionally, BOTH parties need to minimize the amount of misery they inflict on the other party and perhaps miss a few events for the sake of their partner.

BE ORIGINAL
This usually comes with the territory, since she picked you in the first place, it must have been because she saw something in you that she liked that she couldn't find somewhere else. Figure out what that is and run with it!

HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
How obvious is this!?! Everyone likes to laugh and have a good time. This is pretty easy too...if you see something that she'd find humorous, point it out. Crack a joke at an oddly dressed person, repeat a quip you heard earlier in the day, sit down and watch Steve Martin's "The Jerk" together. See how easy it is.

REASSURE HER
Women wear their hearts on their sleeves. Hey, it's true, don't send hate mail. When I get mad I internalize, contemplate, and then let the air out of the tires of whoever is on my nerves. Women want to talk about it and made to feel better. At least I think they do. I'm bad at this. Half the time I can't figure out what my wife is upset at (she wouldn't want to just tell me, would she), and when I can figure it out I don't know what she wants to hear to feel better. If some guy figures this out he'll get a Nobel Prize, I swear.

BE A GOOD LISTENER
See previous. Women like to hide Easter Eggs and Landmines. Let me explain. Easter eggs are things like "My friend Katy went to Ft. Bragg last week and said it was great". Read: "I want to go to Ft. Bragg, take me there". If you pick up this Easter Egg you're rewarded, and all is well. Landmines are different, they go like this, "My friend Katy is really beautiful, isn't she". Run! Run away from the landmine and DON'T TOUCH IT. Call the bomb squad, get out of the country, take cover, hide under the bed...whatever. Don't touch. A good listener knows when he hears an Easter Egg and when he hears a Landmine and knows what to do with them.

She Said:
Well guys, being the expert in the ‘ways to make her swoon’ department, I have to give kudos to Kristen for narrowing it down to eight. If I were going to take on this topic, it would be ‘the 101 ways to Make Her Swoon’. What do I mean by that? No, I don’t mean that it’s easy to make a girl swoon – I’m just saying it’s not terribly difficult either.

After reading the article, I did a ton of thinking, and then I read the comments on the askmen.com site (to see what other like-minded individuals were saying) and then I did a ton more thinking, and I’ve come to this conclusion:

If you like someone and you’re not too scared to go out on a limb and show it, then you have completed step one.

Step two is waiting to see if they reciprocate the feeling. This is a difficult one, because they may not like you back, and that can hurt. But if they do like you back, then they are going to go out on that limb too – if they didn’t venture there first. Whatever the case, you are both out on the limb together, possibly scared of heights, and trying to balance this new relationship local.

Step three is figuring out how to balance on that limb, together.

There are a couple of things you will never be able to change. If that special someone isn’t willing to move out on the limb with you, if you both plummet to the ground because you just couldn’t seem to balance, or if the tree is stuck by lightening – killing that poor little limb. As long as you keep on being you, and pay attention to the ones you are in deep like with, then things will continue on the way their supposed to… no matter how many cheesy relationship advice articles you read and commit to memory!

Just climb back up that tree, and get ready to brave that limb one more time, because you never know, this time could be the last time you ever have to.

~ ~ ~

Men and women throughout the ages
Have had diverse points of view
Hers is this, His is that
Which one works for you?

Jordan Frazer is the author of the blog Buying the Cow. He is a 27 year old resident of Susanville, who survived the dating scene and got married about 18 months ago.

His & Hers: a male vs. female point of view, appears every Monday right here at iconoclastic