Quotable Thoughts: ani difranco
some people wear their smiles like a disguise, those people who smile a lot, watch their eyes, i know ‘cause i’m like that a lot, you think everything is ok – and it is – ‘til it’s not.
~ ani difranco
Do you ever just smile? Because it’s easier to fake happiness then deal with being upset. Easier to be passive, and bypass aggressive?
When someone casually asks, “How are you doing?”
It is not socially acceptable to respond, “Well, my goldfish just died, I stubbed my toe last night and it still hurts, and I have a migraine coming on from the plethora of useless questions I’m asked throughout the day.”
What would people think of you if you countered in this manner - even if it is the truth? No, instead you are required by the keepers of the social norm to reply, “Fine, and you?” So whomever asked can feign ‘fine-nes’ as well.
So, maybe we all are guilty of wearing our smiles like disguises. We put on a smile and pretend to the world that everything is peachy-keen, because to do otherwise would somehow offend the masses. Discontent in not socially acceptable. And voicing said dissatisfaction, well that is societal suicide. You are then labeled as ‘un-happy’ or ‘emotional’ or, worst of all, bearing resemblance to a female-type-dog. And truthful, it is easier to put on that tried-and-true smile, and fake contentment, then deal with the communal reaction to your unhappiness.
So then, why do we feel obligated to ask people how they are? You bump into someone whom you haven’t seen in a while, and the first words out of your mouth are, “How are you?” They jump out there into the void before you have time to think about what you are saying. And then you sit there annoyed, because this person, this inconsiderate person, actually has the nerve to take your precious time and answer the question you’ve nonchalantly asked them.
So the question now is, why ask, if you don’t really want to know?
Quotable Thoughts: a look at the words of wisdom from other’s, with a twist of personal commentary, appears every Tuesday right here at iconoclastic
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