Iconoclastic

1. You’re Not a Team Player
If the phone is ringing, and the receptionist is on the phone, answer it for her. It’s the nice thing to do. If someone left a piece of paper in the office copier, return it. It’s only polite. The toilet papers out in the bathroom. Well put another roll on the holder. It’s common courtesy, but if ignored, can make for some intense office enemies.

2. You’re Constantly on the Phone, for Personal Reasons
We all need to take a little personal time at work, scheduling a doctor’s office, checking in with the kids, confirming a lunch date with a friend. If your boss needs to put in a separate line to facilitate your personal business, it’s a little excessive. And trust me, your office co-workers don’t want to overhear every detail of you and your lovers big fight, or the make-up session afterwards.

3. You’re Always Late
Your running late on Monday because your keys were lost under a pile of dirty clothes from Saturday night. No big deal, we’ve all been there. You’re late every morning because you just can’t get your lazy butt out of bed. That’s super annoying. Work starts at 8, everyone else has to be there, and you’ll create some quick resentment if you feel the rules somehow don’t apply to you.

4. You’re Smell is Permeating the Office
Someone who smells like they haven’t showered for a week will bother most anybody, but someone who smells like they bathed in a perfume store bothers people too. Just because you like your perfume choice, doesn’t mean the rest of the office will enjoy it as well, in fact, there are many people who are sensitive to smell, and you could be the cause of someone going home for the day because of a massive headache. Save the heavy perfume for the big date night, for work, stick to light floral scents.

5. You’re Loud
Concentration at work is a must. Someone talking loudly, no matter what they’re talking about, is a serious distraction. When you answer the phone, talk to a co-worker, or mumble to yourself about how much you love your job, remember someone next to you may be trying to get something important done, so keep a check on your volume. That goes for noisy equipment like paper shredders and vacuum cleaners fall under the same rule, try to be contentious and NEVER use them when someone is on the phone.

6. You’re Noisy
Tapping fingernails on the desk, smacking food or gum while chewing, slurping drinks, or even moaning and sighing constantly. These are noises that distract, annoy, and completely irritate many people. Especially if you are trying to get something done. Try to find ways to deal with your stress, that don’t cause stress in the people working around you.

7. You’re Sick
If you are sick, DO NOT COME TO WORK! It is rude and inconsiderate to come into the office if you have been throwing up all night. Whatever you have may be contagious, and the rest of the office dose not want to get your bug. If the entire business as you know it is going to fall into a black hole of death if you don’t get your sick butt out of bed and take care of something, try to be courteous. Don’t breathe, cough, or sneeze around anyone’s desk, and once all world catastrophes are adverted, please go home!

8. You’re a Slob
When you eat at work, clean your dishes. Pick up your desk before leaving for the day. Make sure all garbage makes it into the can. And NEVER leave anything in the bathroom that shouldn’t be left there, especially on the toilet seat! If you’re using something other people have to use, like a copy machine, office supplies cupboard, of filing cabinet – you should always make sure you leave it in the same, if not better, condition than you found it. Unless your office staffs a personal maid, it is rude to expect your coworkers to clean up after you, it won’t make for friendly relations.

9. You’re Possessive
This is “MY” office, these are “MY” files, this is “MY” copy machine – even though 15 other people use them, they are “MINE”. That is one fast way to put-off the people around you. Possessive pronouns are demeaning, and childish, and even if you are the owner of the company, you should never refer to anything multiple people use as “MINE”. It turns people off, and doesn’t promote team work, and it will make people not want to be around you, since everything is “MINE”.

10. It’s Impossible to Talk to You
It is important to listen as much as you talk. Wither it’s about personal life, business life, or just a quick question. Make sure you listen to what the person is saying before you respond, don’t cut people off or assume you know what they’re trying to say before they finish. It makes it very hard to talk to you, and people will quit attempting. And remember, someone asking a question is not a reflection of you’re work ability – it is them trying to figure something out – so don’t defensive, just answer the best you can and move on.

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Top 10: a snarky start to the weekend with a Top 10 look at love and life, appears every Friday right here at iconoclastic