Hands
I love it in movies when a man grabs a woman’s hand and kisses her palm. It’s so intimate, so personal, a true sign of vulnerability and connection.
Hands are such and interesting instrument given for our use, and often taken advantage of. Hands are how many of us experience the world. We touch things – too see if they are safe, to transfer our emotions, to convey true inner feelings that can’t be expressed in words.
I think of a child, grabbing the hand of a trusted adult, asking for help without saying a word. Expressing a great need, a great fear, a great feeling of insecurity and helplessness. It is a child’s way of saying I trust you to lead me though this time, to guide me safely.
The same has to be true for adults. In this age, when sexual boundaries are a grey area the size of the Atlantic, when kissing someone on the first date is acceptable, and one night stands are understandable, I still have a hard time letting someone hold my hand unless I have true feelings for them.
The intermingling of fingers, the slow and soft caress, tracing a line from the finger tip down to the palm, a tight squeeze. Even the simple act of placing a hand, palm to palm, to compare size, shape and experience. It seems much more intimate than intermingling bodies, the wet caress of lips, and tracing a line from my shoulder down to the small of my back.
I find myself hiding my hands from the reach of others. Not wanting to be guided, not wanting to allow someone access to my vulnerability. Concealing the porthole to intimacy, an excuse to not let someone in.
If only he would take my hand in his, gaze dreamily into my eyes, and kiss me on the palm. He would have unlocked a gate long with deadbolt.
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears right here at iconoclastic
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.
Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!
~ unknown
Technorati: relationships, dating, hands, movies
Comments
Palms may be romantic to you, but to a 1st year med student they are one of the least hygienic places to kiss.
For instance, think of all the germ laden surfaces hands come in contact, with in a matter of hours too. They cover a cough or sneeze. They grab door knobs and door handles, flush toilets, shake other dirty hands and handling money, which is a major source of micro bits of fecal matter.
Sorry to spoil your moment; so does this make me unlovable?
Posted by: Rob Roy | August 6, 2007 06:43 PM
well rob, that is a different way to look at things... i don't think it makes you unlovable - just very hygienic! he he he!
Posted by: meagan dixon | August 6, 2007 07:44 PM
i loved that article and can completely relate to it.
i've recently had a 2 night stand (if that's what you can call it) and the next day i met the guy for coffee and i couldn't hold his hand. he tried and i would pretend to get something out of my purse.
on the otherhand, with a boyfriend, all i want to do is old their hand and caress their arms and play with their fingers.
it's a really funny thing i never considered it but it's so true!
and um... rob that is such a clinical observation. if you're with someone your probably going to touch areas of their body that far more "laden in micro bits of fecal matter" than their hands.
but no it doesn't make you unlovable necessarily just seem horribly cold.
Posted by: caro | August 14, 2007 10:26 AM
it IS so much fun to touch and caress - if you feel a connection. when it's purely sexual, i guess you just want to protect yourself from being open... i just wonder if that's a bad thing!
Posted by: meagan dixon | August 14, 2007 10:31 AM
i somewhat agree. but perhaps what i have, and always will have a hard time understanding, is how people can so easily give away their bodies for sex, such as one-night stands, yet are unable to hold hands with someone. it just doesn't make sense to me! how is it possible to get that "open" with someone yet unable to connect with the hands? this is personally the kind of encounter and feeling i never want to, and never CAN have simply because i don't allow myself these kind of encounters. i am not criticizing people who do, but i have to point this out since it does affect how i view the "hand" thing. i do see it as very intimate, which is why i like to get close to people first with our clothes "still on" then engaging in one night stands and be unable to hold a hand when the night before one was probably doing things wayyyyy crazier then that. interesting world it is.
Posted by: natacha | August 14, 2007 11:15 AM