Iconoclastic

Women do love to talk on the phone (although we don’t usually do it dressed to perfection and seductively posed) – but Gary hit the nail on the head when he said “Women love the phone.” After that, his accuracy gets a little…. Fuzzy.

Wait two days to call
If your goal is to completely convince this girl you’re not into her AT ALL, and you’re willing to risk her being more than a little upset with you, by all means, wait two days before you call her. If, on the other hand, you are actually interested in her, and want to pursue said interest, you may want to call her sooner.

There is such a thing as too soon, and too much, so waiting until the next appropriate time to call is recommended – for instance, if you get her number on a Friday night when you know she was out with her girlfriends drinking, calling her at 7 am the next morning may be a little socially awkward. Waiting until after noon, and calling to find out if she is recovering from her night is not only acceptable, if she’s interested, she’ll find it sweet.

There is nothing worse for a woman then waiting for the post date phone call. We get irritable, angry, and then we convince ourselves you’re not interested because we don’t want to get hurt. So, if you are interested, bypass all of the nonsense and CALL HER!

Have a reason for your call
A reason is always a good thing, the best reason is simple: you like her, and you want to talk to her. And I don’t know where this “take charge of it and steer it” nonsense came from, but women like to think you’re listening to them, that you’re interested enough to want to listen about some random tangent the venture off into. In fact, women find it to be a sign of compatibility when they can have long conversations on the phone with men.

Women view conversation as a way of connecting with someone, getting to know them better. Having a good conversation, even if it is about how you pick out a cantaloupe and why, will show her that you’re interested, and even more important – interesting!

Keep it brief
The only sense I found in this idea was, “The best thing to talk about is her.” And it’s true. Women love to talk about themselves, and they love it even more when they think a man really wants to hear it! When we get on the phone with a man, and all they do is yammer on and on about themselves it tells us two things. The man is not really interested in getting to know who we are, and the man is already in love… with himself!

So gents, my recommendations, especially for the first phone call – keep it to under 30 mins, but don’t cut it too short, and make sure you do just as much listening as you do talking.

End the call first
I think I agree with this one, with a couple of exceptions. If she is having a hard day or complaining about something this is not the time to end the call! You are telling her – loud and clear – that you don’t care about her. Period. And you must remember, there is a thin line between wanting more and wanting nothing to do with you. Make sure when you get off the phone she is going to want to answer the next time you call – as opposed to thinking you’re rude and never wanting to talk to you again.

Leave a message
To leave a message, or not to leave a message – it’s not really even a question! ALWAYS leave a message! Even if you are brief, “Hi, this is Steve, call me back.” No big deal, no commitment, no verbal regurgitation all over her voicemail box. And yet, she is not going to think you are some crazy-weird stalker who is randomly calling her and not leaving a message.

It is oh-so-very annoying to see you missed a call from someone you’ve been waiting to hear from, and find they have not left you a message. And although it’s a forgivable offense once or twice, when it becomes a habit, she may make a habit of never answering the phone again when your name pops up on the caller id. The big bad answering machine is not going to come through the phone and eat you – so leave a message!

Keep text messages to the point
Text messaging is such a wonderful thing! I am an addict! I text my friends when I have something short and sweet I want to tell them, but don’t have the time to talk on the phone – or I know their too busy to talk. It is a way to hold a conversation with someone while doing other things (like dealing with annoying customers at work!). It IS NOT an intimate way of communication, and should probably be avoided when attempting to convey emotion!

In laymen’s terms, I would steer clear of texting until you’ve got to know each other! Confirming times, dates or directions via text seems acceptable, but I would not stray to far into conversation land – because text leave too much up to interpretation!

The phone is nothing to fear. Alexander Graham Bell was a pretty cool dude, and he invented it, so I know men can use them. Show us how great you are, and give that hot girl a call just to let her know you’re thinking about her!

So I don’t sound entirely biased, and because I really do think AskMen.com dose a wonderful job with their articles normally, I recommend checking out their Top 10: Tips for the First Phone Call

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!
~ unknown