The Furies
I was so enraged with him. It went way past the margin of annoyance, beyond the boundaries of irritation, it was – in fact – borderline fury. An intense, disordered and destructive rage – even if the destruction was more self-induced and self-inflicted.
In Greek mythology, the Furies were the three goddesses of vengeance - the jealous, the constant anger and the avenger of murder. Horrible to look at, the Furies had snakes for hair and blood dripping from their eyes. And without mercy, the Furies would punish crimes not within the reach of human justice. How better would you describe a crime of the heart?
In my world I was the goddess of vengeance, looking for retribution for the injury done to my heart. And I was horrible to look at, bed head hair and tears dripping from my eyes. Without mercy, I wanted to punish him for the pain he had caused me.
What crime had been committed, so evil that it was worth the wrath of an injured woman? Betrayal, of the worst kind – betrayal of trust. He led me astray, and delivered me into the arms of my enemy – love.
He used phrases like ‘my favorite’, ‘perfect’, ‘cute’, ‘love’, ‘my friend’. He threw them around, not understanding what they meant to me, not possessing the power to comprehend the significance of his message.
I found out to late that I was none of those things. He was an emotional gigolo, variably jumping from one woman to the next in his quest for emotional sustenance. Ravaging through my affective aspect of consciousness like a hungry wolf on a binge. Not respecting that knowingly or not – he had created a connection that was binding, at least on my side.
So I enacted my vengeance in a way I knew would wound him most. I wrote – vaguely – about a man who was not perfect, who was not kind, who was not innocent. I wrote about a man who had hurt me purposefully, without concern or compassion. I wrote about a man who was the opposite of who he thinks himself to be.
I wrote all these things, and then I allowed him to read it - and wonder if it was about him.
The Wonderful World of Dating: a semi-caustic look at dating in today’s world, given from the heart of a chronically single girl, appears right here at iconoclastic
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.
Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!
~ unknown
Have a great blog idea, or just want to chat with me about something I’ve said? Feel free to e-mail me: meagandixon@yahoo.com
Technorati: relationships, dating, rock, hard place, explotive, but
Comments
OUCH GIRLY! THIS IS AN OLDIE BUT GOODIE! YOU ARE GREAT!
Posted by: jt | August 17, 2007 05:19 PM
Userful blog. Thanks!
Posted by: Debikf | September 20, 2007 12:50 PM