Iconoclastic

Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

Pure Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “black” market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it one the “free” market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Dictatorship
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Capitalism
You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Anarcho-Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

American Corporate Capitalism
Both cows are bloated with toxic steroids. They are set out to graze on privitazed public parks, release massive amounts of flatulence that destroys the ozone layer, die from excess ultraviolet light, and are processed into meat-like products that look great as a result of clever and unprincipled marketing strategies. When you mortgage your artificially devalued farm at high interst rates in order to buy meat, you consume the poisoned material and develop terminal illnesses because there is no health care plan to treat you. The corporate management uses your purchase price to acquire THEIR meat from cows raised “naturally” on tree-free rain forest land outside of the country where labor and resources are cheap.

British Representative Democracy
Both cows are mad.