Jane Doe, Alive and Well

From Monday’s blog:
If you want something to change, you have to do something different.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

The only reason why I bring up this inconvenient truth (wait…is that a copyrighted phrase?) is that so many of us live as though we’ve forgotten it.
It can take a long time, with a lot of frustration, for us to finally believe it.
For example, we want to lose weight, but we don’t want to change what we eat, how we eat, where we eat or why we eat.
We want to have a better relationship with our spouse or children, but we won’t change how we communicate, how we act or how we spend our time.
We want to be healthier people, but we won’t forgive someone who has hurt us, read a life-skills book or go to counseling (which, I don’t blame you, because it can be hard to find a good counselor).
No wonder so many of us live mixed up, insane lives.

If I want something to be different in my life, my family, my community, my nation…I have to do something different. Not my spouse, or my kids, or my boss…me.
Usually we think about how other people need to change. It may be true that they need to change. But don’t try to make them. You’re wasting your energy. You can only change yourself.

Why are humans so hardwired to resist change? There must be some evolutionary reason for it. Hmmm. Self-preservation, maybe? The one who ventures off alone meets danger without the protection of the pack. Fear of the unknown, maybe?

Change is not easy, darn it. Change – even a small change – takes some effort. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual EFFORT. Big changes take A LOT of effort. It's work!

I’m not talking about rearranging. Rearranging is not change. It’s just taking junk from one pile and moving it to a different pile (and sometimes hiding it under the next pile). Rearranging happens a lot….in relationships, in our personal lives, in government.
I’m talking about alterations; where you tuck, pin, cut, and sew to alter the shape and fit of the garment, and you can’t make it go back to what it was before.

So are we all just lazy when we won’t make the effort to change?
Maybe some of us are lazy, but I think most of us are just impatient and…what’s the right word….misguided, maybe.

We want change to happen quickly, but it is a sloooowwww process. It’s an undertaking that includes failure and setbacks. And for most of us, floundering through a lot of failure is not on our list of favorite activities, right? Not on my list, anyway.

We’re misguided in that we spend our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy on things that don’t matter. After the expenditures of daily living and work - I mean, most of us are busy, busy people - we take the remaining energy that we do have and instead of spending it on relationships, introspection, health and growth we spend it on.....Television. Gossip. Movies. Porn. Video games. Bars. Celebrity magazines. Shopping. You know, any of those things that suck energy out of you, but don’t give you anything in return. They may provide immediate satisfaction, but what’s the long term gain?

What an uplifting blog. According to the quote above most of us act insane, and now I’ve made us depressed as well!
I think it’s time for a change.