Jane Doe, Alive and Well

The thing about storms is that most are predictable.
There are signs to watch for. Some are pretty obvious that even a layperson can recognize; dark clouds, temperature changes, things like that. Some take more expert people to recognize them and they relay the message to us.
But our capacity to ignore the signs is impressive.
And our ability to discredit the experts when they are telling us things we don’t want to hear is amazing.
I knew the storm was coming but…..I didn’t take it totally seriously. Not enough to think past a couple of hours without power, or a day at the most, which would be no problem. So it’s nobody’s fault but mine that I had to throw out a lot of food. I could have chosen to be more prepared.
In a lot of cases, we make our own storms in life. We spend more than we make, we buy homes and cars we can’t afford….then when we are late on payments and our credit rating goes down and then our marriage starts to have problems because of financial stress….well, the signs were there with the first skipped payment that something was wrong.
A battered person wonders how on earth the relationship became abusive, and sees only in hindsight the obsessive questioning, anger and intimidation, slow isolation and other signs of an abuser were there early on.
We make poor decisions about money, time, food, relationships, driving habits, working habits, personal habits….you name it. When we reap the consequences of our actions (as we always will, though sometimes delayed), we often refuse to take responsibility for our choices. It’s so much easier to blame someone or something else. You see it in society, and you see it in individual lives. People love to shift the blame.
Yuck. Just like the aftermath of a storm….what a mess.
But, just like cleaning up after a storm starts with picking up the first branch, since most of our problems are our own doing, we can make choices to fix them. It’s hard work (like removing a tree from the top of your house). It’s agonizingly slow (ask the people who are still without power). You’ve got to get help sometimes (or even call in the pros).
Then – and this is the most difficult part – you gotta remember what you learned, so you don’t make the same mistake over and over.
Note to self: next time, don’t forget the ice.