I received an e-mail a few days ago scolding me for once again talking about the lameness of Sonoma State's mascot, the Seawolf. In fact, I'm fairly sure that I've made some kind of remark about said mascot every time I've mentioned it.
So, out of spite, here is an entire post about the CCAA's mascots, and where I rank them in terms of lameness. Needless to say, Sonoma State is right there at the top of the list.

Here are your rankings:

1. Sonoma State: You can't just make stuff up.
Does anyone know what a seawolf is? I know Mozilla's spell check doesn't. I didn't know it was OK to just select a random animal and combine it with "sea" to make your school's mascot. Hawaii Pacific shares this idiocy; they're the Sea Warriors. But at least you might actually find a warrior out at sea, like a pirate or a viking or something. There's not that sense of random combination that you get with Seawolves. Don't believe me? It is, quite literally, a wolf next to the sea.

Just because you put an animal next to some worldly element doesn't make them related. By that logic, you could make mascots like the Mountainwhales or the Skysharks.

2. Yawn, Cal State Stanislaus.
I've never been a fan of any team called the Warriors, not because war isn't cool, but it's such an ambiguous name (you'll later see that Chico State suffers the same affliction). Maybe if I knew more about Turlock I could say that Stanislaus should have picked something more representative. As it stands now, the Warriors are stuck with a boring mascot and a boring logo:

The only cool thing going for it is that it looks like a Spartan from 300, and nobody can argue with that (although I'm forever bitter about schools that call themselves the Spartans or Trojans, for the same reason that I'm anti-Warrior). If you're going to have a mascot that implies violence, go all out and be original. I've yet to see a team called the Bloodletters, but I'm all for it.

3. You're not even the cool Ford model, Cal Poly Pomona.
While Cal Poly San Luis Obispo gets to be the Mustangs, the CCAA's Cal Poly gets Henry Ford's gas-guzzling, halted-production utility vehicle. Even if you are looking at it from the point of view that a Bronco is a hard-to-tame beast, nobody would ever know it because the logo is so stagnant:

Seriously, it's just standing there. Move around, dude. Stomp some face.

4. Nobody has ever seen a gator in San Francisco, ever.
Trying my best to ignore S.F. State's hideous purple-and-yellow color scheme, it's still easy to find plenty to harp on. Of all the things to call yourself if you're from San Francisco, I wouldn't imagine a Gator would be anywhere even close. If there was ever a city in the CCAA that really could lend its own culture to a team name, this is it. A sea lion is a rare exception of a cool animal with the word "sea" in front of it, and it fits. The Gatekeepers, perhaps? Nobody else has it, because nobody else has the Golden Gate. And if Gators is a play on words trying to use "Gate," then it's a bad pun and I'm angry about it. I've seen two S.F. State logos; one is ultra-busy and the other is ultra lame:

5. It's a three-way tie for blandness.
Cal State San Bernardino (Coyotes), Cal State L.A. (Golden Eagles) and even dear old Chico State (Wildcats) don't incite anger, but they don't do much for me, either. They're all just...fine. I'm tempted to dock off points from Cal State L.A. for trying to ritz up something as blah as an Eagle by throwing a color in front of it, but honestly, Chico State's word combination isn't much sexier. I am happy to see that Cal State San Bernardino has taken some initiative and at least made it so their coyote is howling, presumably at the moon. That's pretty iconic of what coyotes like to do. I might also add that I really do think Chico State's logo is the sharpest of all in the CCAA.

6. OK, so a Toro isn't actually a real thing.
But Cal State Dominguez Hills gets points for creativity, and a mascot that really has some character to it. Everybody knows that when you mess with the bull, you get the horns, and the Toros' whole presentation at least threatens as much. It seems like Dominguez Hills really embraces this thing, too. They've even got a cartoon version of their logo on their Web site. But while the bull is cool, what I like is the DH with the horns on it. Simple but creative, and with a name like Cal State Dominguez Hills, it's a nice gesture to the people who have to type about them to keep the nickname short and sweet.

7. I refuse to acknowledge the Little Mermaid implications.
Still, UC San Diego has a pretty cool trident-chucking merman that looks like he could not only ruin you, but that he's about to. It's also not a mascot you hear every day and that helps make it unique to the school. It's a powerful-sounding nickname that maybe doesn't blend with the laid-back vibe most people get when they hear San Diego, but it could definitely be worse (see: Sonoma State).

8. Much better, Bay Area.
The Otters of Cal State Monterey Bay haven't been good at any sport since they've joined the CCAA, but that doesn't mean their moniker isn't sweet. When I think of Monterey, I think of that aquarium, and when I think of the aquarium I think of otters. It's a perfect name for a team so close to Cannery Row, and the logo (a fuzzy otter just kinda lurking over the school's name) doesn't try too hard. Cal State Monterey Bay knows what it is: A school that people go to because it's a beautiful part of the state, and to its credit, doesn't try to be anything more than that. Another major bonus: The basketball gym in Seaside is called the Kelp Bed. You can't beat that with a stick.

You can, however, beat it with an ax...

9. The 'Jacks' ax, that is.
While I'll admit that I hate it when Humboldt State calls itself the Jacks, the Lumberjacks are right on the money with an original mascot and a very decent logo. The green is even area-appropriate. Arcata is, so I've heard, a nice agriculturally driven place that relies heavily on its logging community. Plus, the Lumberjacks have a football team. Few things are more manly than being a lumberjack, but Humboldt State has kept it nice and non-gendered by having a logo that is just an ax forming a "J." Personally, I think they could have worked a chainsaw (much more Jason, much more intimidating) into the mix, but Humboldt State loses my lameness contest. Congrats to them.