Dealing with life
I believe that we come into this world by choice. That implies that we were conscious beings before we were born. I believe that too. I also believe that we choose the conditions we will be born into. There could be thousands of different reasons why we would be born to the family we were born to as well as when and where. Now if what I just said is true, there is an implication that we are not victims, our place in life does not happen by a role of the cosmic dice, we are right where we have chosen to be. Sometimes we choose to be in a situation where we will be victims, allowing ourselves to be at the mercy of events that are completely out of our control. Some souls come here thru no need of their own, but out of love for others, to help others with their own evolution. They may stay for a short time, or spend a long life, depending on the need. I believe these are older more evolved souls. Often they are children who die young, or people who have a severe mental or physical handicap. They are truely angels incarnated.
But for most of us that are not angels incarnated, why would we, as a conscious soul, an entity wanting to have an earth experience, choose pain over comfort, destitution over wealth, or depression over happiness? If we can choose, why not take situations that offer the best of everything?
I could attempt to answer this question by quoting philosophers, authors, or delving into intellectual theories that may make some kind of sense out of my beliefs, but they would be hallow to me. I would only be demonstrating that I have bought into somebody else's explanation of something because they wrote or talked about it in such a way that I took it on as my truth. We do this too much with religion. All we know for sure in life is what we have personally experienced. The only thing that I can speak of with any degree of knowledge is my own life's experiences. So let me attempt....
Every experience we have had in our life has led us to the place we are at right now. That is to say that we are always a sum total of our life's experiences, as well as our choices. If we are happy with who we are, then these experiences have served us well. When I look back over my life, I see that the most painful experiences were often the most important experiences. Often, at the time, I cursed God for putting me into a certain situation. Years later I could look back at that situation, and if I learned anything from it at all, then I could see why it was necessary. In my youth, I was often the victim of bullies. Years later, this would be my motivation for studying martial arts which in turn, led to empowerment. As a young man, I had some of the worst jobs you can imagine, which led me to start my own business. Angry people have taught me to practice more patience as well as empathy because sometimes their anger was a result of their own personal pain. They taught me to see the unresolved pain in my own anger. Sometimes my lesson was simply to learn how to stand up for myself. I have suffered from depression to the point that I considered suicide, and often. Eventually this put me at a crossroads where I had to decide to die, live a life of misery, or take control of what I was feeling and change it. I chose to take control. What I am saying is that my life's worst experiences have been a catalyst or a motivator for me to reach for something better or to change myself or my outlook. I think this is true for all of us and how we get to where we are at in life.
The hardest lessons in life, the ones that challenge us the most, are the ones that appear to be a catch 22. Sometimes we don't see a way out. Damned if you do and damned if you don't. And the thing is, sometimes there isn't a way out, sometimes we just have to plow thru every inch of a bad experience, and for a long time. Sometimes the only thing you can change is your viewpoint. Sometimes, even that is impossible. These are the times in life when you just have to let go. Give it over to a higher power and have faith that there is a reason for it and that in the end, it's all going to be ok. Sometimes, these issues are so painful, so emotional and demanding of your attention that you have to give it over to that higher power several times a day.
When you give a problem to a higher power, you also need to give that higher power everything you have attached to that problem, I.E., all of your pain, your feelings, your issues, your answers, your questions, your struggles, even your attachment to whatever you think the outcome should be. Here's what I do...I picture how big the problem is and I see myself carrying it on my back, like Atlas holding up the world. The problem may be the size of a beach ball, the size of a Volkswagen, or even as big as a house. I see myself standing on a ledge over a river of light and I toss the problem into the river. And then I watch it dissolve as it moves along downstream. For me, this exercise has always worked, I always see results immediately although the problem may not be resolved for some time.
So getting back to why we choose certain situations in life. We are spiritual entities who come to this world for experience so that we can grow and evolve. There are things we cannot experience in a spiritual state. We come here for the adversity, to be able to challenge ourselves. Sometimes we grow and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and opt out via suicide or addiction, and that's ok because there are always other opportunities. Sooner or later, in the big picture, we work it all out. Sometimes we come here to experience the pain we have caused others in another life so that we can learn empathy and compassion (I do not believe that pain is ever a punishment). Sometimes we come here just to enjoy, sometimes we don't want too much adversity. The important thing is, that we do what we came here to do, and that is different for every one of us. If we can learn some basic survival skills early on in life, like some of the things I have mentioned, we can get thru this earthly sojourn and maybe even experience a little happiness along the way. Maybe even a lot of happiness. And that's ok, that's part of why we came here too!