From outside the box

I have spent a lot of time pondering the mysteries of life. This very thing we call existence fascinates me to no end. I mean, think about it....what would there be if there was no such thing as existence? You can't begin to wrap your brain around that. Eternity is another concept we just don't have the capacity to fathom. So we tend to ask the questions that we might be able to understand. Who are we, why are we here, and where are we going? You know, the ones we've been asking since we were living in caves.

I'm not going to pretend that I have any answers to these questions, but to me, it's really about exploring these questions, not having them answered. You see, when you explore you are open to discovering new things. When you have answers, or think you have answers, your pretty much shut down. We tend to make decisions in our life based on what we think we know at the time. When you lock into a set belief about life, your decisions you must make about your own life, on a day to day basis, become set and predictable. This isn't necessarily bad, it's just that for people like myself who are constantly exploring and questioning....let's just say we like to leave our options open.

When I think about what my folks experienced in their lives, the depression and two world wars, it's really no wonder that they would have conservative values as well as a need for religion. Their lives, as well as the generations before them, were about struggle and survival. They needed a set code and a moral compass. They needed to know which was the right direction. Religion and conservative values gave that to them. The thing is, much of what they believed in was based on lies, but they had no way of knowing that. They did not live in an environment where there was anything to gain by questioning.

My generation was forced to deal with the lies and deceit that had been handed down for generations. We challenged the status quo. We wanted the truth. Was war always justified just because the government said it was? Would we go to hell for not practicing Christianity? We wanted to know so we (some of us)experimented. We smoked pot and didn't go crazy. We quit eating meat and didn't wither up and die. We grew our hair long and didn't become gay. So we had to ask ourselves what else have they been lying about? We knew from our childhood that Santa Claus was a lie (although a fun one), we knew you didn't get the cramps and drown if you went into the pool within 45 minutes after eating a candy bar, and you didn't go blind sitting too close to the TV. My point is, when the sixties came, we were poised to challenge, to question, and to experiment.

We made one big mistake though. We started assuming that everything was a lie, and it wasn't. Drugs really were bad, sometimes war was necessary, and loud music really can damage your hearing. So as we matured, we found our balance and we tried to put things into their proper perspective. That balance led many back to religion, back to family values, and back to being a productive member of society. We re-evaluated the status quo, re-wrote the rules, and went on to become the yuppies and over consumers of the eighties and nineties.

Then there were a few of us who never quit questioning, who still even after middle age, could look up into the night time sky and be awed by the enormity of the universe, who still feel a need to challenge authority and question the decisions of our leaders, who look for higher awareness on issues of health, religion, science, the arts, philosophy, war, and politics. We know that to survive as a society, we must constantly re-define and re-examine who we are in relation to the universe and the world around us. We must constantly challenge and re-evaluate our set values, adopted truths, and acquired knowledge.

Sometimes I get too caught up in politics, parenting, running a business, trying to survive, and arguing who's right or wrong about something. Sometimes I start thinking I've got things pretty well figured out. Sometimes I get caught up in the illusion of day to day existence and start thinking that everything going on around me is really important. Then I look up into that night time sky and I remember why I can never quit searching and asking and dreaming. As long as I am awed by that night time sky, I will keep pondering the meaning of existence and wondering what this life is all about. And the more I realize my connection to everything out there as well as everything in this world, the more I will see all answers as being nothing but stepping stones to greater awareness. I left the sixties behind, but a part of the sixties....the better part.... has never left me.