From outside the box

I come from a very large family. Back in the eighties, when my folks were still alive, family members would gather at their house for potlucks, poker games, morning coffee, fresh bread and bean soup on cold winter afternoons, or sometimes you dropped by just because you had twenty minutes to kill. The old house on Woodland Ave. seemed to have people coming and going all the time and that's just how my mother liked it. If an hour went by without anybody showing up, she would start calling around and asking where everybody was.

The fun part about all of this was that you were able to keep in touch with obscure relatives that you otherwise may never run into. The down side of all of this was that you kept in touch with obscure relatives that you otherwise may never run into. So it was no wonder that after mom passed away, back in 93, the family drifted. Those of us that had close bonds stayed in touch and those of us that had little in common just drifted apart.

The Chico relatives, we still run into each other around town. A few years back I was working out at the sports club when I locked eyes with a strange but familiar looking young guy. "Hi uncle Joe", he said as I searched my data bank of long lost nephews to remember who this guy was. "I'm sorry", I said half embarrassed but mostly just feeling like an idiot. "It's your nephew Ray" the young man said, surely thinking that I was suffering from early Alzheimer's. Well, what can I say, he was in his twenties and I had not seen him since he was a teenager. He changed! Actually, he was a grand nephew, my niece Diane's son. I've probably got 50 or more grand nephews and nieces. I'm sure I see them all the time and never know it!

Then there's the other half of the family who still live in Southern California. Some of them keep in touch with the Chico relatives, but most of them I haven't seen since the last family reunion, eight years ago. Many of us are baby boomers who grew up together in the fifties. Now we are all parents and grandparents. The family just keeps growing.

So, for some reason I can't quite figure out yet, it seems important to some family members to have another reunion. What's the purpose? So you can hook up with other middle aged relatives, both remark about how good you look while both are thinking how fat and old the other person has become, talk about things you'd just as soon forget, and in subtle yet very sarcastic ways, remind each other that you are still dealing with childhood issues you thought were way behind you but no way, your still as screwed up as you were back when you got wacked for something your little sister did and told Mom that you did it but really you didnt do anything, you didnt even know about it, and then when Dad got home that evening you got wacked again just because it made him feel better about his lousy day, so you go to school the next day all pissed off about how unfair the world is and after you beat this 12 year old six foot tall sixth grade black girl in tether ball she slaps your face and says, "You think your better than me white boy, cause I'll slap your red headed honky face until those freckles fall off!" and then she does and....well, what was I saying....oh yea....it will be great to see these relatives again.

Actually, it will be fun to see them all again, everybody in one place....wow!. The one thing I can say about my family, even the ones I don't see very often, is that they are all interesting people. I want to know who's retiring, who's divorced, who's getting married, who's gay, who's gotten rich, what kind of talents do they have, and who screwed up and became republican. I want to play guitars with Mark, drink some good cab with Dawn, Becky, Sis, and Dean, talk philosophy and politics with anybody who will engage me, maybe have a seance with Carole, catch up with my favorite nieces Cindy and Jennifer, hear about how Curt's business is doing and find out if his daughter is still playing the bass, hug my cousin Stacia, see Justin again, start a temporary alcohol induced barber shop quartet, ask Suzie about my old girl friend Kathy, hear my sisters laughing hard and loud as they recount some story from years ago, show Dennis a new Pinot Noir I found and bought two cases of, and smoke pipes and cigars with Danny and Scott. June 20th, Southern California...now I'm looking forward to it!