From outside the box

Dictionary.com describes "phobias" as.... "A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous". So basically, phobias make no sense, and yet most of us have dealt with one or more of them in our life. I have had three of them. I have confronted them all, one way or another, but still they affect my life. I think I can say they have been down graded from phobia to mild fear. My three phobias were snakes, flying, and public speaking.

Fellow blogger Tina Hoover once said that all fears were based on a lie. That statement speaks volumes. My worst phobia was snakes, and it was actually my easiest to deal with once I decided that I no longer wanted to be afraid of snakes. Now first off, let me explain why I know this snake thing was a phobia and not a rational fear.... I was just as much afraid of a grass snake as I was a rattle snake. The idea of a snake hurting me had nothing to do with my fear. My fear was based on the lie that snakes were evil. I'm not sure where that lie started for me, maybe because my mother thought they were evil and passed it on in my formative years or maybe because the bible relates snakes to Satan. My personal theory why so many people have a fear of snakes is because they represent ultimate bondage. They are bonded to the earth more so than most other creatures and we, as spiritual beings, have an inner desire to break free of earthly bonds, to reach out for the heavens, to fly, and to "elevate" to a higher existence when our body dies.

Several years ago I decided that I was going to put an end to this fear. Now here I was, in my thirties, and had never touched a snake in my life. If somebody brought one into a room, I was gone in a flash. I got sweats just looking at a picture of a snake! So I carefully planned a way to deal with my fear, something that I figured would work for me. I knew a girl who had a pet python and I told her what I wanted to do and asked if she would be patient enough to work with me. This was going to take about 20 minutes by my calculations, and it did, it really worked!

She bought the snake over in a bag. Actually, I had to pick her up because she didn't have a car and we had to get the snake, which was at a friends house, who had been "snake sitting". I remember staring at the bag wiggling around on the front floor board of my truck as I drove, praying to God I didn't get into an accident and have that thing draped around my head. Later on, in the comfort of my living room, I asked her to take the snake out of the bag and just hold it while I sat across the room and watched. Once I felt comfortable with that I moved closer. Soon I was a couple of feet away, just watching how it moved around her arms. Next I put on a thick pair of ski gloves I had and touched the snake quickly with one finger. So far, so good....Soon I was stroking its long body, and after a few minutes, as she held it, I let it slide over my hands. The gloves were a great psychological factor because in my mind, I wasn't touching the snake, the gloves were. After I got used to this, I took the gloves off and started again by doing a quick touch. I remember being surprised that it's skin was actually dry and not slimy as I had always imagined. Soon it was crawling over my hands, with my friend in control holding it. I could feel how it's muscles constricted and contracted which was basically how it moved. In just a few minutes, the snake had gone from being evil to being just another animal. I remember walking around the house holding this five foot long snake saying "Look at me, I'm holding a snake!"

Of course the snake was never evil. That was just my perverted perception. They've been around on this earth longer than man has, so they belong here at least as much as I do. I still jump a little when I see a snake in the wild, but they no longer spook me like they once did. And although I can comfortably hold a snake now, I can't imagine ever having one for a pet. I'll take a dog any day over a snake.

That day I learned something about phobias. I learned that they do not have to control our life. They have as much power over us as we allow them to have. I also learned that if I could conquer one phobia, I could conquer three phobias....but that's another blog for another day.