From outside the box

Since it's father's day, I thought I would write about being a father. I think Father's day should be a day that fathers give thanks for all that their kids have done for them and meant to them. Having children was the best thing that I have ever done. They have given me love, purpose, and direction. I can't imagine what kind of man I would have turned out to be had I never had kids. Probably very self centered and lonely.

When my son had his first child last year, I told him that nobody is ever ready to be a parent. In fact, the most important things that happen to us in life, children being born, parents dying, new jobs, moving to new area's, getting married, we are never really ready to face them, they just happen and we grow into the experience. Such is parenthood. There is no manual or classes, there is nothing to completely prepare you for being a parent, it just happens and soon your acting like a parent! I know that I felt too immature to be a father when my first child was born. I was scarred, young, and broke. But when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time, there is no doubt from that moment on what you have to do. The fear instantly turns to joy.

As a father, I always tried to remind myself that these souls who came into my life are not mine. I was simply a temporary custodian. They may have my DNA and they may rely on me for survival in their youth, but they are and always have been complete beings unto themselves. And as a father, I have always tried to walk that thin line between teaching them moral values and survival skills, while giving them enough space to make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons, and find their own path.

The greatest honor of being a parent is knowing that these souls chose me to be their father (there are no accidents). And however long I have left in this world, it gives me great comfort to know that my children will always be a part of that journey. Whatever our trials, whatever our joys and accomplishments, non of us will ever face them alone, we will always have each other to share the good times and to lean on during the hard times.

So on this father's day I want to say thank you to my kids, because they have been my greatest gifts. They are four incredible individuals who have in part made me who I am. They each have their own purpose in this world and the world is definitely a better place because they are in it. I love you Becky, Byron, Lisa, and Brady.