I love chick flicks. But then again, I love warm spring rains, walks on the beach, and cuddling puppies. I know, it sounds like a singles ad. But really, thank God for Sandra Bullock, Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, and Sarah Jessica Parker because without them there would be no chick flicks. They have filled my life with hours of wondrous jolts of self realization, allowing me to walk a mile in "her" shoes, to understand the challenges and the mystery's of what it means to be "women". Thanks to women like these, I have come to realize what dumbasses we men folk really are.

I know, it sounds like I am saying that these movies portray all men to be bad, and that's just not true. There's always one good man in them. The rest of them are either psychopaths, neurotics, bullies, sexual predators, or just plain all around jerks. Usually there is a mixture of all these types. I always walk out of a chick flick totally ashamed that I am a man.

It's no wonder that when a man meets a new women, the first order of business is that he has to prove to the women that he is not dangerous. Next he has to prove that he is not a jerk. This usually takes about 20 years. Chick flicks did not create this situation for men, they merely expose us for what we really are....predatory, self absorbed, and horny....except for that one guy in every movie. Oh well, we can't all be Ryan Reynolds.

"But Joe, we all know that Hollywood exaggerates things, most of us men aren't really like that", you might say. Oh really? Is there one man among you who can honestly tell me that you don't think about either screwing, beating, or robbing every women you meet? At the least, don't you just want to take that strange lady home and have her cook something for you? Of course you do. It's who we are, it's what we do.

Want proof? Go to a movie today! Go see "It's Complicated", "Here Come The Morgans", "Leap Year", or any chick flick you can find on HBO or the Life Time channel. You'll see what I'm talking about. Lets take "Here Come The Morgans" for example. Here is some word for word dialogue from that movie....

Sarah Jessica Parker (meeting a new man in a bar)...."I left my boyfriend (always played by Hugh Grant or Ryan Reynolds). Oh sure he's cute, rich, and smart, but he wasn't seeing ME for who I am, you know, the real me."

Stranger in bar...."He must be stupid to not appreciate a lady like you! I would treat you like the queen that you are. Wanna go to my place and mess around?"

SJP...."You men are all alike, your all jerks!"

Stranger in bar...."What? What'd I say?"

At this point she throws her drink in his face and turns around to leave. The stranger in the bar snatches her purse and runs off with it. She jumps towards him but only manages to break a heel on one of her shoes. Hobbling out the door, she hails down a cab. She tells the cab driver she needs a ride but her purse just got stolen and she has no money. He smiles at her through his mid eastern close cropped beard and says, "That's ok American lady, we can work something out." To which she replies, "Oh you men, your all alike!" She then starts walking down the street on one high heel. Somehow her hair is all wet too and her make up is running but she looks really cute anyway. At this point the viewer is thinking, "She's really having a bad day. God damn men." When she finally makes it home Hugh Grant is waiting for her with his grandmothers antique wedding ring. He gets down on one knee and says to her in a stuttering and yet charming English accent as he gestures with his both hands, "If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I would love to spend the rest of my life making up for the wrongs I have done you. I have taken you for granted. I promise from now on to see you for who you really are, and I will single handedly keep the house clean. Will you marry me darling, will you?" She stares at him quietly for several seconds, punishing him for being the man he is, before she responds with a joyous and resounding...."No!". Hugh Grant looks devastated as he keeps moving his hands in front of him like he's presenting something because that's what Hugh Grant does. After she feels he has suffered enough she says, "No....you will not do the house work alone. We'll do it together....and yes I'll marry you!" Then they kiss and stuff.

OK, maybe this wasn't from that particular movie, but I know I've seen it somewhere in some movie. I know that in real life we can't all be Hugh Grants. I also know that most men will never be able to make up for being born a man. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Isn't that what the chick flick is telling us? Isn't that the real message that men should be walking away with from these movies? The chick flick is not trying to tell us that all men are rapers, murderers, and thieves. Quite the opposite...it's just telling us that were not all Hugh Grant. I know that I may never be as good a man as Hugh Grant or Ryan Reynolds, but damn it, I can try. After all, I am a man. I owe, hell we all owe at least that much to woman. Feel her pain....apologize....apologize.....

And then go see "It's Complicated", "Leap Year", or "Here Come The Morgans"....there's some good guidance in all those movies.