The following is a transcript of the conversation between Fox News chief Roger Ailes and governor Sarah Palin last week when governor Palin auditioned for her new job at Fox news.

Roger Ailes....So Sarah, what is your interest in working here at Fox?

Sarah....Well Roger, first of all I have to tell you, this whole newsy thing isn't going to work for me if your gonna be hittin me with those "gotch-ya" type questions.

Roger....Fair enough Sarah. Then let me ask you this....Since you quit your job as governor before your term was over, how do I know you won't quit Fox News after a few months?

Sarah (quietly staring at Roger, almost as if she's thinking about something)....Well Roger, I'll just have to get back at ya on that one.

Roger....Your not giving me much to go on here Sarah. However, since it has always been our goal here at Fox News to remain fair and balanced, and since we are over represented on the left here with Alan Colmes, I think you will be a perfect addition to our line up.

Sarah....I'm not gonna have to talk to Alan Colmes am I? I can't deal with all those "Why'd you say this and what do ya mean by that" type of questions.

Roger....Don't worry about Alan. Were basically keeping him around to pour coffee and run errands. We'll make sure you don't run into him.

Sarah....So what will I be talking about, what will my job be?

Roger....Well, for example, you've got a lot of history dealing with the Russians. Didn't you say once that you saw one of their planes flying near Alaska? And how about that bridge to nowhere?

At this point Sarah interrupts Roger with a profound "And I said thanks but no thanks!" as she wagged her finger in the air.

Roger....That's right Sarah. That's the sort of thing we want you to do here. Just wink a lot and do that down home southern thing you do. You know....just go rogue, and be cute about it. Trust me, our viewers will love you.

Sarah....Well, I am cute and I am rogue. But Roger, I'm from Alaska, not the south.

Roger....I know, I've always been curious about that. So anyway, do we have a deal Sarah?

Sarah....It depends. How much will the job pay?

Roger...A gazillion dollars. Is that enough for you?

Sarah....Is that more than a million?

Roger....Yes it is.

Sarah....So I get to be all mavericky, won't have anybody asking me any questions, and I make a gazillion bucks?

Roger....You got it Sarah.

Sarah....What about The Simpsons and Family Guy? Do I get to do those shows too?

Roger....No Sarah, you will be a commentator for Fox News. Those cartoons are in a different division altogether. You will only be on Fox News.

Sarah....So Fox News is a cartoon?

Roger....Sarah, Fox News is a serious fair and balanced news program. You will be a news commentator.

Sarah....And just exactly what does a news commentator do?

Roger (shaking his head as he looks at the ground)....God help me. Sarah, you will comment on the news, any part of the news you want to comment on. Just be interesting. You can even make stuff up, we don't care about the facts here at Fox News. Look, all you have to do is talk, you don't even have to be interesting, just be cute. Is that easy enough for you?

Sarah....Roger, I'm gonna have to get back to ya on that one.

Roger (addressing a producer across the room)....Can you get me Tina Fey's agent?