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November 15, 2006
OPEN LETTER TO SENATOR JOHN KERRY
SENATOR JOHN KERRY
304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510
DEAR SENATOR KERRY: WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. YOU ARE ONE FUNNY DUDE!
WE UNEDUCATED TROOPS DO HAVE SUFFICIENT ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER
THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US YOUR TRUSTY GUIDANCE.
1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND TO MYSELF?
2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?
3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE HEART?
4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?
5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
7.) ONCE I GET BACK TO THE STATES AND FALSELY TESTIFY IN CONGRESS THAT ALL MY FELLOW DUMMY TROOPS OVER HERE ARE ENGAGING IN VICIOUS, INHUMANE CONDUCT, CAN I THEN GET ELECTED TO THE U.S. SENATE?
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THOSE HILARIOUS JOKES COMING.
JUST A DUMB G.I. IN IRAQ
Posted by Post Scripts at November 15, 2006 08:47 AM