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March 8, 2009
How To Tell If You're An Extreme Redneck
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Posted by Post Scripts at March 8, 2009 12:20 PM
Comments
Jeff Foxworthy would be proud of this list.
Posted by: OneVike | March 9, 2009 1:18 PM
I keep lookin' fer the joke part of this. It ain't funny 'tall. It's just the way it is.
Hey, you makin' fun of me?
Posted by: Mad Dawg | March 9, 2009 1:58 PM
You're right, Mad Dawg. They are making fun of you, and they are free to do it, because hillbillies are not a protected class. Can you imagine what would happen if someone was telling jokes about people eating watermelon and fried chicken? He would be accused of hate crimes.
Posted by: Speedo | March 9, 2009 3:04 PM
Right on Speedo...and don't worry Mad Dawg most of us is part redneck anyways!
Posted by: Tina | March 9, 2009 4:03 PM