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April 30, 2009
Somali Cruise - Best Travel Deal Ever!
Posted by Jack
This is the best idea yet. Be sure and read the whole thing. I was checking cruise lines because I heard the rates are very cheap right now.
I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).
The cost is a bit high @ $800 per person double occupancy but I didn’t find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their ‘High powered weapons’ along on the cruise. If you don’t have your own weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon as well as national marksmanship training. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.
* $800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)
* M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95
* Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block
ball ammo at $14.95
* Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25
rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95
* Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour
(spotting scope included).
* Wow - they even offer RPG’s at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3
standard loads
* “Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment
and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am.”
* Meals are not included but costs seem reasonable.
* Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs
offer......... get this.....
* “MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained
fire” (Sign me up for that!)
They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim
“FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY”
They even have a partial money back offer if not satisfied....here’s some text from the ad.
“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini-gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia . If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.
We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia . At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before the end of May and get 100 rounds
of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.”
As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, there were a few testimonials
* “I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I’ll never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!”---- Lars , Hamburg , Germany
* “Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12-yr. old son sank two rowboats with the mini-gun.
PIRATES 0 - PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English” - Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA
* “I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM .. Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their squirrelly aim—reminds me of a drunken ‘juicer’ door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam”—“chopper’ Dan ----Toledo USA.
* “Like ducks in a barrel. This is must do!" – Zeke, Minnahaw Springs , Kentucky , USA
Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major problem. These folks deserve a medal!
Posted by Post Scripts at April 30, 2009 1:23 AM
Comments
I love capitalism, it works every time it's tried. The most productive, safest and freest societies have always been the capitalistic ones. When they stop practicing capitalism and start bending over to thugs and dictators around the world, someone will come up with a capitalistic idea that puts everything back into perspective.
Posted by: Fred Jake | April 30, 2009 8:34 AM
Thats the spirit Fred! Now how about you and Libby bury the hatchet and book a fun-gun trip? Share a little time on that mini-gun, let Libby get her frustrations out with some trigger time, but be careful, cause once she gets the hang of it she might be there all day.
Posted by: Jack | April 30, 2009 8:48 AM
Now how about you and Libby bury the hatchet and book a fun-gun trip?
I would love to go on this cruise with Libby, but I am not sure I would trust a gun in her hands. She might shoot the crew and join the pirates. I can see the headlines now, "Wacko Woman Takes Cruise Ship and Joins Pirates".
Posted by: Fred Jake | April 30, 2009 11:38 AM
Cool! Where do I sign up? Can I bring my crossbow?
Posted by: Billy | April 30, 2009 12:06 PM
You assume a lot. In the nine plus years of posting to the ER,(as far as I know) the sex of Libby (full body shiver) has never been solidly determined. Shim does act and react like a chick most of the time, most liberal men also act and react like chicks so its really hard to tell.
Posted by: Toby Stahler | April 30, 2009 3:32 PM
His last name is Libby. He was a security guard at the Bidwell Mansion years ago. Libby is a man.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 1, 2009 1:34 PM