by OneVike
(Look for OneVike's usual Sunday message on Christmas Day)
Back in May I wrote an article that asked the question, "Was Jesus A Socialist?" As I wrote in the article it is my understanding of the Scriptures, and of God's many rules and regulations to the Israelites, that Jesus was a capitalist. Thus I believe if He were walking among us and actually voting in our elections today, He would most certainly be a conservative capitalist.
Ok, so now we find ourselves at the doorstep of Christmas and unfortunately more children have probably heard of Santa than have heard of Jesus. So in the spirit of the season, and just so I can be fair and equitable with my political opinions, I have decided to share what I think of Santa's political persuasion. This will be my message today. I realize it is not a Christian message so much as it is a political statement. I ask that you forgive me for this and allow me to digress into an area that many children may appreciate more then adults. I also do not want anyone to think that I am putting a beloved character on the same level as God, I am not, and please do not misconstrue the meaning of this article. I offer it as a simple and fun explanation of how I see liberals and what I think of Santa's politics.
Now, to set up my reasons for the way I believe. I will begin by saying that if Santa were a real person and a politically minded individual he would be a conservative Republican. How can I be so sure of such a bold statement you may wonder? Well, I will list eight reasons for my belief. But before I offer my list, I would like to point out that when finished you will inevitably ask yourself the same question I have asked in the past. Why would any liberal Democrat like Santa, and why would they ever tell their children to like him?
The eight reasons Santa must be a conservative Republican
1.) Santa waits till everyones asleep and no ones around, to see him do his good deeds. If Santa were a liberal Democrat, he would do his work in broad daylight where everyone could see and he would also call reporters and hold a press conference.
2.) Santa gives toys and candy out using his own money and hard work. Liberal Democrats would pass a law that would call for redistribution of wealth from others. Then they would again hold a press conference to tell the parents how they have made the children's Christmas better by forcing evil wealthy individuals to share the wealth.
3.) If Santa were a liberal Democrat, he wouldn't fly around on a cold drafty sleigh that was pulled by an endangered animal like the reindeer. The liberal Democrat would be flying around the world in a Boeing 747 paid for by the taxpayers of the world. Oh yeah, they would also have a huge "Save the Reindeer" sticker on the side of the plane for everyone to see.
4.) When you go to the mall and see Santa there, what is he doing? He is asks the boys and girls what they want for Christmas, then he shuts up and listens as he remembers every detail of what the child wants. Liberals never listen. They just talk, talk, talk and talk some more as they tell you what they are going to do for you, regardless of whether you want it or not.
5.) Santa hires elves. Fact is, you will never see a Liberal Democrat actually hire a physically disadvantaged individual, unless it was a token employ for the media to see. Liberals only use the disadvantaged for speeches and photo ops.
6.) Santa believes in right and wrong, he checks his list twice to see who has been naughty and nice. If a child has been bad, well that child will be getting a lump of coal. As far as liberal Democrats are concerned, the very idea that there is a right and a wrong is antiquated and evil. If Santa were a liberal Democrat, he would actually give the best toys to the baddest child because after all it really is not his fault and we do not want any child to be stigmatized. That is why liberals insist on either making pregnant teenage girls valedictorians, or they have no valedictorians at all. Remember, to a liberal right and wrong, good and bad, are all relative.
7.) Santa gives to others from a sacrificial, giving heart without expecting or demanding anything in return because he truly loves others. Liberals on the other hand believe everyone is entitled to something, but not because they love them, it is because they want something in return.
8.) Finally, the last reason I believe Santa would be a conservative Republican, is because Santa shows up to work regardless of what the weather is like. He also is not afraid of long hours or having to work on holidays with no extra pay. Santa never goes on strike, demanding that we the people give him more than he already has. Also, when the working conditions get tough like foggy nights or heavy snow storms, instead of delaying his promise of delivering his gifts until the weather improves, he uses good old American ingenuity to come up with a technical solution to the problem. One time he found out that he could use an outcast reindeer, named Rudolph who had shiny nose, to help shine the light and deliver his presents to all the boys and girls of the world on time. Yup, Santa kept right on trucking without missing a step, and without demanding that the government get involved to do that which he promised he would always do.
So as you can plainly see Santa is a conservative Republican, not a Liberal Democrat.
Thank you Pastor O.V. Really enjoyed this one. You never cease to amaze me with your inspired logic! lol I wish I had half your writing talent.
"Santa kept right on trucking without missing a step, and without demanding that the government get involved to do that which he promised he would always do." Amen brother.
Whew!
You lost me when you said Jesus was a conservative.
That would get you befuddled.
By the way I have another reason for Santa being a conservative. It was sent to me via e-mail after they read my list and told me I can use it if i wanted. Well, obviously I accepted. So reason #9 Santa is a conservative......
Also, don't forget Santa doesn't pay taxes and got fat working one day a year off the labor of a platoon of elves. Definitely a conservative. Rudolph must have been a Chinese reindeer; don't have to pay them much.
Oh common Murr, now you're just making stuff up!
If Santa doesn't pay taxes it's because a) the government hasn't discovered him yet, b) Democrats exempted him to buy the future votes that children will always represent or c) his business isn't that profitable and he personally isn't the selfish rich scrooge you imply.
An operation as large as this requires year round work and not just by the elves but Santa too. Someone has to acquire all of the materials the elves use to make all those toys for girls and boys. Someone has to keep an eye on the kids all year, make the lists, and check them twice. Someone has to travel to one mall after another in a whirlwind tour so the boys and girls can tell the big jolly guy what their hopes are for Christmas morning. This is called "executive work". The expenses involved account for the overhead that eats a lot of "profit"; expenses the elves never have to think about. And don't forget this business has expanded every year from the beginning...that takes a lot of cash.
The elves have a home, honest rewarding work, and...they are HAPPY! Without this job they'd be out in the snow! You are right about one thing, Chinese reindeer do have a temporary advantage over others for now. They can afford to work the same job for a lot less and they still do very well. Unfortunately, greedy American union shop reindeer priced themselves out of the market...poor long term planning on their part.
By the way...Santa is chubby, not fat. He got that way because Mrs. Clause takes very good care of her hard working man...and appreciates him too, which is why he's so jolly. It's a conservative shop alright ...right down to the very last happy elf. They work as a team...attitude makes all the difference.
Merry Christmas!
Oh, one more thing, Murr. It's hillarious that you accuse conservatives of not paying taxes when a bunch of Democrats in Obamas "organization" and in Congress are in trouble for failure to pay taxes.
We also just discovered that government workers, most of whom believe in big government and likely vote democrat, have also failed to pay their taxes. Can't recall the sum but it's huge! Not surprising though. Progressive democrats believe in spending other peoples money. Worse than a miser is a thief.
Golly, Tina, really? There has been bad or hypocritical behavior among people on the left as well as the right? Blow me down. I'm not a young person. I remember a few times when folks were able to discuss honest differences, before they had become the reactionaries we all are now, so comfortable in pigeon-holing people and filing them away.
There are a lot of fairy tales out there in right-left land. There are those who believe neoconservatives engineered the 9/11 horror. There are those who believe Obama is a Muslim terrorist who wants to kill Grandma. There are many who believe that the world owes them a living. There are many others who believe that all wealth is truly earned, even virtuous.
There are people who decry socialism but are perfectly comfortable with our highway system, police, and a kick-butt military composed of other people's children. And there are some of us who believe that individuals must own their own spark and fire, but still believe that we can come together and achieve more for ourselves as a community. Where we draw the line should be a matter of honest opinion and give-and-take, but the way we're set up now--with opposing choirs preaching to themselves--we may never have that sort of conversation.
That's why I wrote what I did; I am so tired of this endless silly stereotyping and spitting back and forth. It's profoundly lazy. We're getting exactly nowhere.
And I really don't think it's in our best interest as a nation to locate the lowest wages in the world and drive all the work there. Some of it is even slavery. Somebody's sure getting fat, but it isn't going to be you or me.
Murr: "That's why I wrote what I did; I am so tired of this endless silly stereotyping and spitting back and forth. It's profoundly lazy. We're getting exactly nowhere."
You lead the way then. Your original comment was a little snarky.
"And I really don't think it's in our best interest as a nation to locate the lowest wages in the world and drive all the work there. Some of it is even slavery. ** Somebody's sure getting fat, but it isn't going to be you or me."
Now there's a stereotypical remark if ever I heard one. I thought you were into being serious and having a real conversation.
This is a rich country and when government isn't stealing too much of the wealth there is ample opportunity for everyone. All it takes is a little ambition to make a good living, prosper, and in some cases even get rich. We don't all make it but we strive for it, don't we? It used to be that we were proud about having earned what we have. Too many of us are now only proud when we've, pardon the expression, screwed someone to get it.
There are many reasons for companies to seek employees elsewhere, most of them having to do with employee costs that can no longer be met or tax burdens that are too steep. Greedy government and unions have been living high on someone elses hog without a care in the world for decades. The lesson today is that greed brings an eventuality; at some point there is no more room in a company budget for excessive taxes and bloated employee packages. When that happens it's time to do something else or close up shop. That's not a right winger slinging mud for fun and games...that is simply a fact of life. You have to sell one heck of a lot of dresses or cars to pay the taxes, payroll, benefits and insurance. Then there's still rent, power, invester profits, and materials to acquire...you want to cover that nut? You think it's easy year after year? You want to be responsible for answering to customers, clients, vendors, employees and the government?
I don't blame you for being tiresd of the grousing back and forth. It's like having a tug of war in a mud hole. But when divisions are as great as they are right now it's inevitable that we end up dirty with skinned shins. The stakes are high. Freedom and the preservation of the republic are the prize. I think it's worth a good fight. If you care to have a conversation instead of a left-right spitting contest try being more responsible in your own communications...I'll participate with you civily.
I am so tired of this endless silly stereotyping and spitting back and forth. It's profoundly lazy.
A famous quote from a movie comes to mind abiut you being tired of all the bickering in the political discourse.
"They drew first blood"
Go back and see what they did in Hollywood, in the music industry, in the comedic world and now even in the MSM. The left began disrespecting those they politically disagree with a long time ago, while those of us in the right sat back silently taking it.
What you don't like is the right has gotten fed up and we are fighting back. Tired of it? Well my friend, from the looks of what the Democrats are in congress and Obama are saying about Republicans and conservatives in the hinter-land, I'd say it is just beginning, and your side drew first blood.
Worry not though, we on the right will be the ones who shed the last drop. Imagine if the 6 million Jews actually stood up as a unified force against Hitler and his leftist socialist thugs? Well that is what the left today is going to see from those of us who like our rights under the constitution. We will not be herded onto the trains like your political heroes are so famous for doing to their political enemies.
The line was drawn a long time ago as we just sat back and silently protested and acted all nice. After 30 years we have finally gotten fed up, and you don't like it. All we are doing is fighting fire and words with fire and words. We are going to push back so Hard you and your kind will not know what happened. Just wait and see what the results will be in the next election cycle. I dare say the American people are on our side, they always have been, it's just that now they know what we on the right knew all along about your kind.
What did Obama say during the election last year?
If they push, we will push back twice as HARD, and if they bring a knife, we will bring a gun?
Your side drew first blood!
Oh yea, good article and list OV.
Welcome back Tom, and Ditto's.
Tina, yes, sorry, my comment was indeed snarky, as was the original post--that being my tiny little point. I do believe you would respond civilly.
Tom, I am and have been a hard-working tax-paying American who cares just as deeply about our Constitution as you do. The Nazi references are lovely, Tom. At the risk of getting you more excited, rest assured you frighten me.
I'm just glad my Christ and my Santa Claus are different than yours.