POST SCRIPTS

I am a member of one of the sororities that is considering joining this project. And personally I find your last statement EXTREMELY offensive. I would never have taken vows to join a group of women that aren't "worth knowing." It is exactly that kind of stereotype that I have been fighting against the last three years. So to prove my point that my sisters are some of the most caring, intelligent, exceptional women you could ever meet, let me tell you my story:

In 2005, I went through sorority recruitment on a whim. I couldn't wait to come to college and recruitment was a good excuse to get here a week early. I never planned to actually join a sorority. The idea of me as a sorority girl was laughable.

I arrived at Sigma Kappa on the first day to find my boss from the daycamp I worked at standing outside the door as president. Jen wasn't the sorority girl type either. She's funny and kind and is determined to be an oncologist because her little sister had leukemia as a child. (I am happy to say that she has been in remission for over a decade now.) Jen gets great grades. She's the leader of everything and somehow she still finds time to be a great friend. What was she doing in a sorority?

By the end of the week I knew. I had talked to a dozen or more Sigma Kappas and all of them had so much in common with me. I was in love and stayed up half the night hoping for a bid. It came and hear I am in the first half of my junior year even more in love with Sigma Kappa than I was that first week.

Last semester I studied abroad in Nicaragua and as of ten days ago I hadn’t seen most of my sisters in over eight months. I had a wonderful time abroad and learned a lot, but I sure missed my Sigma Kappa’s. It was so nice to get their little Facebook messages that filled me in on everything they were doing and inevitably those messages ended with “I miss you.” But even with those little reminders, I didn’t realize how much I was missed until I walked through the door last Wednesday. Every one of my sisters came running up to give me a hug and say how glad they are that I’m back. I’ve never felt so loved and so important in my entire life. It was like every time I go back to Wisconsin to visit Grammy and all of my aunts, uncles and cousins and they greet me like they’ve been waiting for me to come back all year long. It was exactly like that, like my sisters have been waiting in anticipation of my return. It is so good to be home!

They are my chosen family and like a true family, they have always come through for me. December of my freshman year, just a week before I got home in time for a final good-bye, my grandfather passed away. He and I were very close. I had spent high school caring for him full-time, to the point that I did everything but sleep at my Grandpa's house. I got the news of his death right here at Sigma Kappa. Immediately, I was surrounded by sisters offering hugs, stuffed animals, and a shoulder, but the best thing any of them gave me were these words, “Honey, I’m sorry. I know there is nothing I can do but I love you.” When I returned to my residence hall the next morning puffy-eyed and exhausted from a night of crying in a hotel room, I was greeted by a large bouquet, a box of tissues, and a bag of Hershey’s Hugs accompanied by a card signed “Your Sisters.” In the coming days, they gave me ways to distract myself and time to mourn, but I will never forget those words.

And now it has happened again. Last weekend, my Grammy, the last of my grandparents, passed away last weekend. I know that she was ready to go, but it hurts really badly that there will be no more summers at Grandma's, no more shared milkshakes, no more stories circa WWII. My sisters have comforted me, admired my Grammy's photo, listened to my stories, took care of my responsibilities while I flew home for the funeral, and greeted me enthusiastically when I got home just yesterday.

I admire these women. I try to emulate them. They have been my strength in some of the hardest times of my life and my joy in the happiest. These women are more than just worth knowing, and I consider myself to be lucky and blessed to have them in my life.

Shanon, I have re-read this a couple of times and the last statement is,

"BIG BONUS: They'll soon know for sure whether there are any women in those sororities worth knowing!"

I don't think that they were trying to impune anyone for belonging to a sorority. For myself, in my former proffession, my co-workers were like my brothers and sisters. I share this experience with Jack.

I have also belonged to a Fraternal institution, which my father and as of Tuesday, my eldest son are also members. In addition to the family members I listed, the other members of this fraternity are like brothers to me and as a whole have made me a better man, by encouragement and example.

Your story is a great one! And I, for one believe that at least some of these women you wrote about, if not all, will be your life long friends.

What I took from the story is the reality, that where humans are involved, not all will be of the same caliber as the women you and I have spoke of.

Shannon, thank you so much for that wonderful tribute to your sorority sisters. It sounds like you have found a great group of friends and that is a very valuable thing in this world. You're right...they will be friends for life.

My friend John is accurate about my post. I did not mean to imply that all sorority women were not worth knowing. In fact just the opposite...I meant that was the worst thing these guys could discover, and probably wouldn't but if they did...so what!?!!

Admittedly I put the words in italics for affect, however, the intent was to encourage the nerds to face their own fears of possible rejection and go boldly forth with their very creative idea. It was my hope that new friends might be made and old stereotypes might be smashed.

I'm so glad to hear that several sororities are considering taking these guys up on the idea. If you all join in the project with a spirit of fun and enthusiasm it could be an interesting and educational experience for all of you.

I'd like to say one thing more. The generations of women that have come before yours have beaten up on men pretty terribly, creating a very negative effect in our society. Many of them learned their "beliefs" in college courses. It is my hope that your generation will reverse that destructive trend. With that in mind it gives me a great deal of satisfaction and joy to hear from young women such as yourself who are bright articulate and caring...I hope you never lose those qualities.

If after reading this you are still offended please accept my apology...you sound like a pretty terrific young woman, one that anyone would be lucky to meet and get to know.

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It really was a fun story to write about. I also hope you will comment again when and if the mood strikes.