Ship of Fools

In my previous blog (for those who actually read that regurgitation of disjointed thoughts) I mentioned new windows for my house. Well finally they came so I'd like to share my experience.

Two employees from Selig were due to arrive at 9am on the 4th of this month. In a very rare display they were on time. Now, this isn't to say that Selig normally isn't. Hell, maybe they aren't but they have always been punctual for me. What I'm saying is that no one is ever on time any more and furthermore most of the time they don't have the decency to call either. Another blog though...another blog.

Anyway, the two workers showed up promptly at 9am and were set up and ready to go by 0910. These two worked like fiends however they were neither rude nor intrusive. Both were very pleasant and were happy to stop working to answer any questions we had. They put up with my three dogs without a single complaint and managed to get all ten windows out, the new windows in, new trim installed and the whole thing weatherproofed and sealed in just under five hours. When they left there was no evidence that they were even there except for ten beautiful new windows.

The real proof was yet to be told though. Would they really help keep the house (and more specifically my kids' room) cooler and more comfortable? We will have to wait because the weather has been so damn pleasant but so far so good. The kids room stays the same temp as the rest of the house even in the hot afternoon sun. Once the temp gets into the 90's we'll really be able to tell but so far I'm very encouraged.

"Oh jeeze, here he goes again."

That's right, there are a few random things I'd like to get off my mind. Or at least put into the minds of others so that my useless frustration can be shared by the masses.

Miller Beer has a new commercial stating that their beer is superior to everyone other beer out there because they "triple hop" their beer. Let me set the record straight. First of all, Miller is rat urine. That being said it doesn't make any difference that they triple hop their beer because that's simply how beer is made. That would be like Starbucks stating "we brew our coffee with genuine water!" Well, you don't say? The reason they do it is so that you think you're special while swilling down can after can of their mass-produced crap. It wouldn't matter if it was brewed with unicorn snot, it still tastes awful.

Speaking of beer, what is with the new craze of "low carb" beers? If you're drinking so much beer that the carb content is a concern perhaps you need to take a look at your life and figure out why you're sucking down so much tasteless beer. Lighten up, drink a quality beer and enjoy life a little. I can't figure out how they do this either. Beer is grain sugars extracted from the grain with hot water and then fermented with yeasts. The only possible way to get "low carb" beer is to put in less sugars. Less sugars mean less grains and less grains means less taste. So basically you're paying a premium price for carbonated yellow water. Way to go!

Recently my wife and I got a notice that homes were being broken into in our neighborhood. The back-story of this is that a few years ago a certain individual was living on our block and homes were getting broken into regularly. The house I'm living in was among the ones broken into though I wasn't living there at the time. The person in question went off to jail and his family moved and suddenly the break-ins stopped. Apparently this person is back in the area and homes are being broken into again. The notice was nothing more than a "be aware of whats going on" type thing. One of the neighborhood home owners quickly jumped to the defense of the suspected burglar stating that we shouldn't jump to conclusions, we don't know it was "him" that was breaking into the homes, ect. While its true that we don't know for certain that it was this particular person its a hell of a coincidence. I'm inclined to think that the suspicions of the rest of the neighborhood are founded and that the person in question is behind all this. Yeah, its profiling. I'll admit it. I'm making judgement without solid evidence. But you know what? I don't care.

My wife and I recently ordered windows for our home from Selig. I won't go into detail about the exact cost but lets just say it was several thousand dollars. My car cost barely over what I paid for these windows and the car has an internal combustion engine, the windows are glass in a frame. But whatever. I have aluminum single pane windows right now and its impossible to cool the house down. The west facing windows are hot to the touch, really hot. Hot enough to burn if you keep your hand there. Anyway, we ordered these windows a month ago and were told they would be installed on the 28th and 29th of this month. Guess what, I still don't have new windows. Selig says they are still at the factory. Their attitude about it is "you'll get them when you get them". Well here's a message for Selig, direct from me. Get off your butts and install my windows, pecker heads! My house is hot and I'm out of patience. Okay I feel better now

And finally, or at least in conclusion, I just don't get why the cars that drive up and down my street feel like they have to slam on the gas as hard as they can just to slam on the brakes at the stop sign. My block isn't even a full city block, its three-quarters of a block (just how Gridley was designed, I have no clue why) and it has a stop sign at both ends. So basically people are leaving the stop sign, going as fast as they possibly can until they are right up to the next stop sign and then slamming on their brakes. As if its not enough to hear your engine race at all hours of the day or night now I have to hear your brakes squeal too. And to top it off you have your ghetto blaster blowing what little brains you have left out of your ear rendering your completely retarded and useless.

Actually I have one more and it's only because it just started outside my window at work. Please explain to me the point of walking up and down the parking lot of the hospital every single morning starting at 6am with a leaf blower when its windy outside? This moron that's outside right now is literally blowing leaves into the wind which are instantly flying back toward him. I'm watching him and he's been standing in the same spot blowing the same leaves with a very perplexed look on his face for five minutes solid. Genius, the wind is blowing! Besides, I thought a hospital was suppose to be a place of quiet and rest, not a place where you have to listen to a leaf blower starting at sunrise. Maybe I should take it easy on him. His brains are probably sitting on his passenger seat after driving like a bat out of hell up and down my block with his radio on.

Okay, I'm really done this time.

My wife and I bought a Wii (sorry for announcing that to the world honey). What a fun little toy! I have to admit when they first hit the market I thought they were a lame idea and it was just another nail in the Nintendo coffin. Boy was I wrong.

For those who don't know the Nintendo Wii is the newest generation of video game platforms by the Nintendo Corporation. What sets it apart from every other video game system is that the Wii is truly interactive. For example if you play Tennis on the Wii you don't press arrow keys around to control the racket, you hold the controller in the hand of your choice and wave it just like you would a real tennis racket. The system understands the movement of your arm and makes the little man on the screen move accordingly. Same with bowling, golf, ect. My wife and I also purchased Mario Kart, a racing game using the classic charicters from the Mario games. To move your car you snap your controller into a steering-wheel-like device and then "turn" the wheel just like you would a car.

Its addictive because its so different. All the games on the Wii require the player to get off his or her butt and MOVE. Is it a work out? No, not at all. It requires about as much movement above the waist as actually doing the activity would, but no running or anything to that effect. There is, however, the Wii Fit that DOES require a great deal of movement. I don't have one but from what I've heard there is a large cardio element in most of the "games". You're required to bend, twist, jump, run in place, do sit-ups, push-ups, and use an exercise ball all in a fun, game like setting. Other games can also interact with the Wii Fit devices. For example there is a game where you ride a snowboard and your movement standing on the excercise ball is what controlls your snowboard and it can be quite a work out!

Now the Wii comes with a price tag. You can find them brand new on Ebay for about $250 and that will come with enough games and equipment for two people to play. The system will accept up to 8 inputs at the same time so up to 8 people can all play from the same location. If that's not enough the Wii can also go online and you can play against anyone in the world.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my wife and I are going to play a round of golf.

Last week California was lucky enough to have yet another special election. This one was to decide if we should borrow a crapload of money from ourselves to pay off the debt from when we've spent way too much money on ourselves. Overwhelmingly California decided that they didn't much like the idea of robbing Peter to pay Paul and in a rough margin of 65% - 35% we voted no (who were the 35% who thought taking out a bunch of loans was a good idea anyway?) We've been told for a couple years ago that those pay-day advance loans are a horrible idea but isn't that pretty much what we voted on? Almost every proposition was to borrow a large sum of money now and pay it back in a couple years with interest. But where in the next couple years is this money going to come from? Is there a money tree behind the capitol building that's just not quite mature yet? Its really sad that the best idea our elected officials can come up with for a solution is to borrow money. No thoughts of trimming pork, cutting programs, or curbing waste. Nope, just borrow with absolutely no thought of how to pay it back.

Voter turn out was a record breaker for low numbers. Only one county, Sierra, went above 50% (51% actually), while most counties had about 33% turn out. Butte had a 30.3% turn out, so I guess we were about average. Imperial county had the lowest turn out, 15.1%. Amazing.

I think we as citizens of this state are just apathetic. We've seen too many times election results that turn out to mean nothing. We vote one way, the state says "yeah, but we're sure you didn't mean it quite like THAT" and they do it their way anyway. Its just too much care anymore. Unless we can get some different politicians, some new blood, in the capitol things just wont change.

Websters defines "ambulance" as:

a vehicle equipped for transporting the injured or sick

Ambulances were first used by the Spanish in the 1400's to quickly transport their war fallen from the battle field to off-site camps where they could be treated by medical professionals. These crude transport vehicles were often hay carts that were taken from the locals for this purpose. They had no specialized equipment and often patients were stacked on top of one another on the carts. Fast forward to the late 1800's when ambulances were first used for civilian use. Not much had changed in the way patients were transported in 400 years though and your chances of surviving an ambulance ride were often worse than just being left alone.

The birth of the automobile brought around some minor changes. Now the patients could be transported in relitive discomfort without having to smell horses. There was still no provisions for actually treating patients in the field. That concept wouldn't come about until the 1960's and 1970's.

The birth of "modern" ambulance transport was a rough one. Private companies would often use converted vans or Cadillac wagons to transport patients rapidly to the hospital. This was the first time that the "ambulance driver" actually had some form of medical training. Often there was no attendent with the patient during transport but some medical treatment was provided prior to taking off to the hospital. The problem was that there was no regulation. Competing companies would often race each other to the scene and then sabatoge each others ambulances once there. Anyone who has seen the movie "Mother Jugs and Speed" can get a pretty acurate idea of what was going on.

Truly modern ambulances and the way emergency services are handled started in the 1990's with the widespread use of the 911 system. From this point on there was no compeing ambulance services stepping on each others toes (in theory). If you pick up the phone and dial 911 the closest ambulance equiped to handle your particular case will respond in a timely manor. Often this will be with the lights and sirens going (this is called Code 3, Code 2 is no lights, no sirens. There is no Code 1) Now, in other areas, especially big cities, they triage (the act of prioritizing emergencies) calls so if you call 911 for a seizure and someone else calls 911 for a heart attack, the other person gets the ambulance first. In Butte county, however, this isn't the case. In Butte county ALL requests for an ambulance going through the 911 system are considered Code 3 and no ambulance is diverted to another call regardless of its nature. This is becuase we have more than enough ambulances to handle the need of our county. Not to say there aren't times when EVERY ambulance in the county isn't on a call but those times are very few and far between.

Ambulances now are staffed with medical professionals. All ambulances in Butte county are staffed with at least one paramedic and one EMT. An EMT has one semester of training in basic life support (BLS). This includes splinting, airway management, child birth, minor burns, minor lacerations, ect. A paramedic has an additional year of very intense training. They can treat a whole host of medical emergencies including cardiac or respitory arrest, seizure, trauma, ect. Paramedics have training that puts them somewhere in the area just above an LVN but just below an RN.

The reason I write all this is to clear up a few things. First, there are no "ambulance drivers" any more. If you get an ambulance you are getting trained medical professionals who have dedicated their lives treating the sick and injured outside a hospital setting. This means working in the rain, the snow, the heat, the wind, at night, on weekends, and on holidays. Our shifts are often very long (in Butte county we work 48 hour continuous shifts) and very tiring but we do it because we love it.

The common misconception, even among many nurses and doctors, is that ambulance personnel are just glorified taxi drivers who are here to dispose of patients they no longer want in the hospital. This couldn't be further from the truth. The job of an ambulance is to bring patients TO the hospital, not take them out (unless its to another hospital). I can't tell you how many calls we get from hospitals saying "This patient walked into the ER and needs a ride home, come get them." We are not a taxi service, we are not a bus, we are here to make sure sick people get to the hospital quickly and receive life saving treatment on the way.

Now, in the rare case that we do get roped into taking someone home from the hospital to their house let me give you a run down on whats going to happen. Were going to bill your insurance. Your insurance is going to look at it and say "If this person was so sick that they needed an ambulance why didn't they stay in the hospital? Claim denied." The bill will then be sent to the patient with full expectation that they will pay it. And how much is the bill?

Depending on how far you live from the hospital the bill can vary but expect around $3000.00. Kind of expensive for a fancy taxi isn't it? In almost 100% of the cases no medical treatment is administered and the attendant (usually the EMT) sits and makes pleasant coversation until the patient is back home. Non-emergency medical transport is available from a few private companies (Merit Medi-Trans, Heart to Heart, First Responder) at a fraction of the cost and is a much more appropriate use of resources.

So now that you know what an ambulance is please use them with respect. Calling for an ambulance for a mosquito bite, a hang nail, sleeplessness, a runny nose, or feeling too awake (all calls I've been on, by the way) means that no one else who might actually be sick gets an ambulance if they need one. Rural areas like Gridley, Colusa, Willows, Orland, Williams, ect only have one ambulance that serves that community and when they are on a call any other calls have to wait.

And finally when you see an ambulance with its lights on either behind you or coming toward you pull to the right of the road and STOP. Increasingly people dont pull over at all, stop in the middle of the road, or pull left. My favorite is when a line of cars does actually pull over and stop and one guy uses that opportunity to get to the front of the line. Smooth move. All these are not only dangerous but illegal. CHP likes nothing more than to cruise behind a Code-3 ambulance and ticket people that dont pull over. Cost of the ticket? $281. So pull over to the right and stop until the ambulance passes. Remember, the person who called for us might just be someone you love.

In my last post I was making tamales from a new recipe and I promised an update the next day. Well I lied, I didn't get to it the next day, or the day after that. Or the day after that either. I'm awful, I know it.

The tamales were good and really easy to make. Usually tamales for my wife and I end up destorying the entire kitchen and leaves about a zillion dishes needing washed. This wasn't like that at all since the liquid you use to cook the chicken in also makes the sauce, the binder for the masa, and, once thinned out, the steaming liquid. Very efficient! Also I learned that the trick to making those damn corn husks work correctly is not to just soak them in hot water, you gotta boil them. Usually I just get the hottest water from the sink and toss in the the husks and then struggle while trying to manage them. This recipe called for boiling the water, turning it off, then throwing in the husks and letting them sit in the boiling water for 45 minutes. Longer time innitially but it was more than made up for in the ease of handling.

The finished product were good. Not fantastic but I know what to do to fix it. See the tamales were small, only about as big around as a quarter. This really wasn't that big of a deal as it also made the tamales easier to assemble and the recipe made about 3 dozen tamales. Thing is, they were a bit dry. Not that tamales are really that moist to begin with but these were dry. Next time I'm going to put some tamatillo sauce inside (my wife makes a killer tamatillo sauce) and save a little extra to go on the top of the finished tamales. That should not only solve the dry problem but will also bring a nice flavor to the party. Maybe mole (moe-lay, not the little underground critter) sauce would be good too. I'll keep posting updates with my experiments.

Yesterday was my oldest sons third birthday. One more year and he's off to a UK textile mill where he can earn his keep sewing buttons on shirts. Anyway we planned a party for him. Nothing big. Just my wife and I, his brother of course, and my parents for pizza, salad, and cake. Problem is by the time dinner rolled around he was passed out on the couch because he hadn't taken a nap. So we put him to bed, called my parents and rescheduled for this evening, and my wife and I had a quiet evening to ourselves.

I had planned on having baked chicken tonight but as my mom pointed out, "It's Cinco de Mayo, we should be having Mexican food!" Alrighty then...Mexican food it is. So I'm making tamales, fresh refried beans, and home-made tortillas. Or that's the plan anyway. You see, my wife and I have made tamales a number of times. Some have come out great. Perfect flavor, perfect texture, everything is wonderful. Other times they have been little wads of glue in a corn husk with flavorless meat-like-substance crammed inside. It's totally random. Tonight I'm going to try again though. I found a recipe that sounds quite good and the procedure for putting them together seems easy enough. I'll post tomorrow on how they come out.

Anyway so I'm in the kitchen preparing the meat. One diced onion, check, two minced cloves of garlic, done. One minced sorrano pepper. Okay, a note on these little bastards. They are hot. REALLY hot. They have a wonderful fruity flavor, like a cross between a bell pepper and a very ripe fresh apple, but if you don't give them a little respect they will slap you into a land of hurt like you've never known. I've made the mistake with them before and it always ended in me uttering a string of swear words. So I'm dicing this little devil on a plastic board as to not set the next ten items I chop on my wooden board on fire from left over capsaicin. I very carefully chop the pepper, put it in the cooking chicken, drop the board and the knife into hot soapy water, and, because its allergy season, I rub my eye.

Ever had one of those moments when the very second you do something some voice in the back of your head goes: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I had one of those moments today. Except my voice said: "Even God can't save you now buster. You're a moron." As I hopped around the kitchen clutching my face as to keep my eyeball from popping out and running for the hills I remembered that I couldn't cuss because my kids were both asleep in the living room. So I just stood in quiet agony until the burning subsided and I could sanely reflect on just how dumb I really am sometimes.

Now some of you may be saying "Why didn't you wash your eye out with water?" Well, capsaicin is hydrophobic, meaning it will repel water. Pure forms of the stuff look kinda like parafin but runny. I could have poured a swimming pool of water into my eye with no effect what-so-ever. Milk works but only because the enzymes in the milk help to break down the chemical links. Actually that's not entirely true. Milk used to work but thanks to the process of ultra-pasturization those enzymes are deactivated. That's why a lot of restaurant's that serve very spicy foods serve yogurt along side of it. Its not a colorful side dish, its to help sooth your burning taste buds.

So there is my story people. Hopefully you found it amusing. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go writhe in agony.

Its been a while since my last blog. I've been busy, you see. Spring as sprung and with it comes a lot of chores and work that all needs to be done RIGHT NOW. Plus with the vast amount of current events its hard to decide what to talk about. Between that twit who spit out 14 kids, the thieves at AIG spending vast amount of tax payer money on bonuses for obviously exemplery performance, our new President spending money that doesn't exist on projects that will mostly likey prove fruitless, and the various other day-to-day goodness how is a person to chose?

Thinking along these lines this morning I came to a conclusion on todays blog. The focus will be on:

Foot Powder

Honestly, no hidden meanings. I really mean foot powder. For your feet. Why this as a topic of discuession? Because wet stinky feet are gross and 30 seconds of time and a tiny bit of effort can solve that easily. The reason I think more people don't regularly apply foot powder, or at least the reason I didn't for years, is the cost. Foot powder is expensive! A months supply can cost around $12 for some of the bigger brands and probably won't last more than a month. Thats $144 a year that could be spent on a lot of things that aren't foot powder. So whats the solution? Make your own!

Even the best primum brands out there are composed of two major ingredients. They may have a few other things thrown in there such as Tolnaftate (an anti-fungal) or Menthol (anti-itch) but in reality you don't need them at all. What you need is 50% corn starch and 50% baking soda. Put it in a small water-tight container, shake it up and there you have it. Instant foot powder at the cost of about $.50 for a months supply. Want it to smell pretty? Put a drop or two of essential oil in there (I like lavender) and shake the hell out of it. If it has a tendency to clump a little bit throw some dry rice or a penny in there too and the problem is solved.

Heres how it works. Corn starch is hydroscopic. That means it like moisture. A lot. Way more than any fungus does. Any time your feet start to sweat the corn starch will absorb it instantly making it unavailable for the fungus. The baking soda acts in two ways. First, it stops odor. Everyone who's ever put a box of Arm and Hammer in their fridge can testify to the fact that their fridge doesn't stink as long as that box is in there. Same goes with your feet. The baking soda will absorb foot funk like no ones business. It also upsets the PH balance around your feet. By making your feet slightly more alkali than the fungus likes it will help to kill it off.

"But what if I want the anti-fungal? What if I want the anti-itch? Your stuff isn't going to work for me!" You don't need either. You see foot fungus, like any other plant, requires moisture to thrive. Since the corn starch is much more hydroscopic than the fungus its soon going to be moisture deprived and will die off. As for the itching, it was caused by the fungus which is now dead. Besides, more and more menthol based products are being found to be somewhat harmful in the long run possibly even causing surfice-nerve damage.

So why spend all that money? Make it yourself with two simple ingredients that you probably have in the house anyway. Your feet will thank you.

Here at the Ship of Fools I don't take things very seriously. I poke fun at a lot of things and sometimes even manage to make myself laugh at my own iditocy.

Today however I heard the sad news that a true legend of radio had passed. Paul Harvey, best known his short radio broadcasts "The Rest of the Story" died in his home in Arizona last night at the age of 90.

Mr. Harvey began his radio broadcast in 1933 cleaning the radio station near his home in Tulsa and was soon allowed to fill in air time reading commercials. He covered the US Naval concentration of forces in Hawaii just prior to the bombing of Pearl Harbor and did his patriotic duty by serving in the US Army Air Forces from 1943-1944. After the war ended he came up with the tag line "the rest of the story" while covering the post-war employment listing "Jobs for G.I. Joe". From there his career blossomed with "Paul Harvey News and Commentary" each weekday at noon. That expanded to Sundays and eventually Saturdays and stayed that way from the mid 70's to present. His show was called "the largest one-man network ever" as it was carried on over 1200 networks world wide.

Mr. Harvey was the recipient of Broadcasters Radio Hall of Fame award, the Horatio Alger Award and was named to the DeMolay Hall of Fame. In 2005 he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Bush.

He was married to the same woman since 1941, Lynne Harvey-Cooper, whom he called Angel. She helped produce his show and was the first producer to be inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. In 2007 it was announced on the air that she had contracted leukemia and in August of 2008 it was announced, again on air, that she had lost that battle.

Mr. Harvey died this morning in a hospital surrounded by friends and family. No cause has yet been announced but it doesn't really matter. To repeat what Paul Harvey Jr. said this morning "millions have lost a friend." Myself included. Paul Harvey was always a familiar voice on the radio. Countless times I remember riding in the truck with my parents on some errand or another and when we heard that familiar voice announce "Hello Americans, I'm Paul Harvey..." the voices would hush and all attention was on the radio.

Paul Harvey leaned neither Left nor Right during his commentary. His job was to report the news and current events and his comments were always middle of the road. They were G rated, witty, often sarcastic, and always entertaining.

So please allow me my whim, dear readers, as I spend a moment remembering a dear friend I never met. Paul Harvey will be greatly missed by me and others. Rest In Peace, Paul Harvey, for all you've accomplished you've earned it.

Comments are a part of blogs and I love getting comments. Agree, disagree, anything. I love getting the feedback. Spam comments come with the territory too. The crew at Norcal blogs are doing their darndest to keep them from getting through to us posters but its sort of like trying to draw a single grain of salt out of the sea. Some of them are pretty obviously ad's, others take a little bit of reading to see though, and some are just plain odd.

Below are two of my favorite from the past week. I can't for the life of me figure out what the point of these comments are but they were amusing none the less.

Some cogent lecture here, esteem mingle some of them into my blog.

My bestir oneself up applys with how-to guides for new users, so if 1% of all lurkers, liquidate decencys, then the do of newbies leaving sanctifys be obligated be properly miniscule. I’ve not had one sanctify on any of my stakes so far teeth of getting a bargifted amount of age…

Well I'll be bargifted if that makes any sense at all. That was posted to my "Cellphones and Airplanes" rant from over a year ago. Heres another.

oh unperturbed, this acuity is at the end of the day remunerative and definately is say gab up accolade! hehe. I’ll see if I can try to use some of this communication for my own blog.

presents!

Oh unperturbed my ass. Come look at my face and I'll show you the opposite of unperturbed. Honestly, are some of these even words?

And as a side note, if you "use some of this communication for your own blog" or "esteem to mingle them into your own blog" you're going to receive the acuity of my accolade up your lurker.

Presents!