I'm dragging my ass today. I didn't sleep worth a damn last night and it's taking its toll. Usually I'll drink a cup or two (or three) (or four) of coffee in the morning but that does it for my caffine intake. The rest of the day I'm a water drinker. Usually.

Today is not that day.

So I'm sitting at work contimplating some way of getting my hands on some caffine. I now truly understand how junkies feel. If the Sharpee in front of me had even a hint of stimulant in it I'd have eaten it at this point.

Out of shear deperation I pull my wallet out and look inside. I don't know why I did this, I never have cash anyway, I'm a slave to my ATM card, but desperate times...

Inside my wallet I find three crisp one dollar bills. I have no clue how they got there and I really couldn't care less. This is my ticket right here. I make a mad dash outside to the soda machine and survey my options. Pepsi (sold out), Diet Pepsi (sold out), Cherry Pepsi (sold out), Sprite, Diet Sprite, and...whats this? Rockstar Punch! Ahh, 16 ounces of pure unfiltered stimulant and it's mine for the taking. Well, for $2. Two dollars?!? Highway robbe....ah screw it. I'd have sucked the jam out of a bums toes at this point. I put in my two dollars and press the button.

Gears chruning

Here it comes...

Clunk clunk clunk

Come to papa you little devil you...

CLUNKpffffffffffffffffffff

As I woefully watched my last hope for salvation hit the rim of the soda machine, splitting the side of the can and spraying my pants and boots with sweet red liquid, I contimplated the looks I might get if my co-workers were to watch a 6'4" 230 pound full grown man sit in the parking lot of his work, sobbing like a school yard sissy and eating his own trousers.

I'm sure someone would have something to say.