The buzz
The energy drink name game wasn’t as much of a hit as I had hoped, but this blog thing takes a while to catch on. I don’t know why I think energy drink names are funny. Maybe because one imagines a bunch of 20-year-old hipsters sitting around some grandiose mahogany executive table scrawling on bar napkins to come up with the names.
In addition to the energy drink names mentioned last week, our research staff has discovered some lesser-known brands: Lightning Bolt, Crunk, Bawls, Monster Energy, Rip it, Pit Bull and Rockstar.
Dad spent some time thinking of different brands for different subculture groups. See — Dad should be making the big-bucks, hanging out with 20-year-olds and scrawling on bar napkins. Why he wasted all that time as a corporate executive we’ll never know.
Dad’s suggestions:
For the skater in your life: Rink Drink.
For roller derby girls: Pink Rink Drink.
For all you rednecks: Power Paunch.
Skateboarders: Skaterade.
Media personalities: Newscrewsbrews.
Chicoans: Buttejuice.
For manual laborers: Blister Juice.
There you have it. Great minds at work.