Mission (Not) Accomplished
As we all know, five years ago today, President Bush spent a boatload of taxpayer dollars to stage his “Mission Accomplished” gig on the deck of the Abraham Lincoln. At the time many people believed this war was over. I did. As cynical as I am, I believed him. Perhaps I only wanted to believe him. On the other hand, he’s got the sincere act down pretty good. (When you can fake sincerity, you can fake anything.) I realized soon enough that it was just another lie in what has turned out to be a bottomless pit of prevarication.
According to the Associated Press, Bush tried several ways to modify this whopper, including a flat-out denial that The White House had anything at all to do with the banner flown right over his head.
Finally, after five years, I saw a story today on the Drudge Report entitled “White House admits fault on 'Mission Accomplished' banner.”
Alas, the headline was misleading—as is usual for the Drudge Report. The story didn’t say the president admitted to any error that day. It seems that the president’s spin meisters have finally settled on the canard that he was referring to the aircraft carrier’s mission in the war.
Oh.
THAT’S what he meant!
Who knew?
I guess this means the war is back on. Which is good in a way.
I mean, it’s ludicrous to think we’ve lost 3,900 soldiers waging peace!
How will it look in the history books that we killed close to a million innocent people after the war had been won?
Who knows? Maybe the Iraqis, realizing the mission is not accomplished yet, will give up their silly demands that we stop killing them and get the Hell out of there. Maybe all those Godless peace mongers will give up their pleas too.
It’s also good that the president realizes what all intelligent Americans have known for some time. (I have had doubts that he ever would.) That means he is now smarter than a dittohead—somewhat like being taller than an midget, but it is an accomplishment of sorts.
Hmmm, another banner, maybe?
Seriously, though.
Last month, Bush said, "While this war is difficult, it is not endless."
I wonder if we’ll have to wait five years to find out what he meant by that?