How to make sorbet in the freezer

IMG_3093Last week I publicly revealed that I’m a miser.
In the spirit of way too much public disclosure, I’ll also readily admit that I’m a fruit hoarder.
Rather than take personal responsibility for this character flaw, I blame my grandmother.
Gram grew up during the Great Depression.
When I snubbed my nose at brown bananas as a child, Gram said sternly that bananas reach their maximum sweetness when they are freckled.

When Gram found an apple with a black spot in the middle, she broke out a knife and carved out the good parts.
This year I have access to some fruit trees. I can’t remember having this type of luxury since childhood when I would visit my grandmother.
Much of the fruit I’m collecting is bird-pecked and/or bruised. But this makes me happy; other humans aren’t competing for this free fruit stockpile.

Last week I bragged about dehydrating ginormous stockpiles of fruit. Before you buy a dehydrator on Craigslist, I’ll share my truthful analysis.
If you see dried fruit on the shelves of Costco, it probably tastes good.
My experience has been that dried tomatoes and plums will rock your taste buds, and you can buy these in bulk.
But dried peaches are disappointing, and probably only handy if your car breaks down on the way to Las Vegas.

By the time I discovered this useful information, my boyfriend and I have dried three gallon-sized bags of peaches. He has promised he loves them and will eat every last one by March 2015.
If not, we’ll put them in house-warming gift-baskets.

The skinny on sorbet
Meanwhile, the freezer is so full of frozen fruit, you’d need to be an expert at organization to squeeze in a gallon of ice cream.
So here’s the scoop on hoarding fruit: make sorbet.
Sorbet, just like smoothies, can be eaten for breakfast, but it’s also a natural substitute for ice cream, which will no longer fit in the freezer.
For a semi-informative video taken in a nearby kitchen: http://goo.gl/tS1iJH.
I liked using previously frozen fruit, because it made room in the freezer. Although sorbet from fresh fruit would work as well.
Fill the blender with mixed fruit and add the juice from half a lemon.
Stir in about a tablespoon of sugar, fake sweetener or honey, if desired.
I found that the fruit was sweet enough all by itself.
Add just enough water so the blender can do its job, maybe 1⁄3 of a cup.
Blend to smithereens and pour in a shallow baking pan. You should have a layer of about 1⁄2 to 3⁄4 of an inch of fruit goo.
After two hours, crack the ice cap and stir vigorously. This aerates the concoction, and does the job you would do in a $60 sorbet machine that takes up closet space.
Freeze again for another two hours. Mash and jab at the frozen fruit again.
Now you can transfer the sorbet to individual serving-size containers, and stack them neatly in the freezer.
If you miss the ice cream, you can add a dollop of frozen, non-fat whipped cream.
Over the years, I’ve also experimented with adding vitamin powders and soy protein. Of course, this adds the flavor of vitamin powder and soy protein, but the fruit will mask most of that “yick” taste.

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