Stewart and his wife Barbara go to the county fair every year and every year Stewart would say, “Barbara, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Barbara always replied, “I know Stewart, but that helicopter ride is seventy quid, and seventy quid is seventy quid!”
One year later Stewart and Barbara went to the fair, and Stewart said, “Barbara, I’m 75 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance”
To this, Barbara replied, “Stewart, that helicopter ride is seventy quid, and seventy quid is seventy quid.” The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s seventy quid.” Stewart and Barbara agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word… When they landed, the pilot turned to Stewart and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”
Stewart replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Barbara fell out, but you know, seventy quid is seventy quid!”
Let’s not forget the Irish …
Sean, his darling bride, and lovely daughter had spent the evening at the local pub. Sean was in the process of driving them all home when the local constable saw their car, and thought it best to intervene. This was in a small village where everybody knew everybody.
Sean was just idling along, so the constable walked up alongside the car and rapped on Sean’s window. Sean looked up at him soddenly, turned back to his driving, applied the brake, and rolled down the window.
“Top of the evenin’, Constable.”
“Evenin’, Sean. Been down to the pub, have you?’
“Ay, that I have.”
“Along with your lovely wife and darling daughter?”
“Ay, me whole family for the evenin’.”
“And did you know that your wife and daughter fell out of the car at your last turn?”
At this Sean’s eyes fly wide open and his jaw drops. Then his face absolutely lights up from ear to ear.
“Oh, thank you constable, may the saints be praised! For a moment there, I thought I’d gone deaf!”
LOL…RHT, good one