Ayman al-Zawahiri – new al Qaeda Chief

by Jack

In a unanimous vote by al Qaeda leaders Ayman al-Zawahiri has been named the new boss.

The big question we want to know now is who is al-Zawahiri and how soon can we eliminate him? The first part is easy to answer. Okay, looks like he sticks his finger up in the air a lot (see pics) and my guess is he will never be a model for GQ.

A-man or A-holy as some like to call him, (he’s very religious) was born in Egypt 60 years ago (his birthday is next week -too bad he’s having another one). The A.H. was raised in an upscale neighborhood among many western ex-pats that he now despises. He graduated from Cairo University as a physician. According to the Hindustan Times, “…. his father was a well off professor of pharmacology.

They go on to say….”Many educated youngsters were outraged at the treatment of Islamists in the 1960s when Egypt veered towards a Soviet-style one-party state under socialist Gamal Abdel Nasser. Zawahiri was one of hundreds tried for links to the 1981 assassination of President Anwar Sadat, Nasser’s successor. He served a three-year jail term for illegal arms possession, but was acquitted of the main charges. Thousands of people suspected of subversion were thrown into prison after show trials. One of the young Zawahiri’s heroes, Muslim Brotherhood luminary Sayyid Qutb, was executed in 1966 on charges of trying to overthrow the state”.

“Zawahiri is one of the many victims of the Nasser regime who had deep political grievances and a feeling of shame at Egypt’s defeat by Israel in 1967. He grew up a radical,” said Khalil al-Anani, an expert in Islamist movements at Durham University. Well, there it is, he’s a victim – not a killer.

Like most radicals this one comes with delusions of grandeur and a huge overestimation of his self worth. The word on the street is he’s not the warm and fuzzy guy bin Laden was. The A-man lacks any shred of charisma or personality. I had a doctor like him once, seems to be an occupational hazzard, but I digress.

We also know he has a predisposition towards chemical and biological weapons thanks to his higher education. Needless to say that’s bad news. Who needs a terrorists capable of building a biological weapon! However, the good part is he’s too old and too well known to have an active role in any acts of terrorism. So, whatever skills he may have they will have be sidelined in exchange for staying low and removed from the people actually doing the terrorizing.

His new role is more of assuring his murderous morons that the organization is still viable. No easy task either, considering the setbacks Al Qaeda has had in recent months. .

The A-man’s role is to be more symbolic than actual. Without question al-Zawahiri would like to avenge bin Laden and have his name live on in history, so he will be planning and encouraging something big soon. (He has put out a hit list of people in the US already) He would like to see some homegrown terrorists spring up and do his dirty work. That presents the biggest threat since it’s harder to detect and stop.

By now I would be surprised if there were not at least one or two libs protesting me being too harsh on the A-man and his pals. Not at all– they’re mesmerized dullards including the A-man and I’m here to call a spade a spade! This is how it is. And if they really believe Allah wants them go around killing innocent men, women and children (preferably Americans) for world domination, I’m here to say they’re nuts. I have nothing but contempt for these throwbacks to medieval times and I don’t mind saying so. The pathetic part is they don’t even know how crude and stupid they look to the world.

So, if you’re interested in making a cool $25 million and you have insider knowledge about al-Zawahiri, call I-800-US Seals. On the other hand, if your desire is to kill infidels and become a martyr, please use the same number. At least part of your wish will be granted.