by Jack
My step-daughter sent me an email about a new, improved diet plan that really, really, really works or your money back…guaranteed! She says she’s going with this brand new concept called multi-level-marketing and she is so excited. Gosh, now I am excited! Selling a product people really need and would buy anyway, wow! Using all your friends and family to network and makes sales, what an awesome idea! But, it gets better, finally, there is a diet pill that really works. It just seems too good to be true! Wonder why nobody ever thought of this before? (Amway)
So I sent her this letter to explain why I can’t start her amazing diet program just yet:
“Hi (name withheld), thanks for the great diet information, unfortunately I’m already signed up with Slimula, its 100% guarantee or your money back and it’s been around for a long time so it can’t be a fraud. They have lots of testimonials too so I really can’t miss. I’m sure this one will work.
For even faster results, I’m also signed up with Maxreduce which has been proven to lose more weight faster than any other product and it 100% guarantee or your money back and it’s been around for a long time, so no fraud here, I believe it! They have lots of testimonials too. I am also taking the HCG plan, now this one is triple guaranteed and it’s been around for a long time so it must be true and they have lots of testimonials.
I’m also using the Sensa System which is 100% guaranteed, lots of testimonials, its a big company, no fraud at all here and it’s a MLM plan, even better!
I’m also into Bali’s Slimming Secret, by Primalforce. Talk about dropping the pounds fast, this is REALLY the one! But just to be sure, I am also taking Dietrine, a carb blocker, look at this, its another amazing story…”Are you frustrated by your failure to lose weight by diet control? Dietrine Carb Blocker weight loss pills are your solution- Guaranteed!”
Can’t beat that deal, can you?
There are a couple of hundred more amazing, brand new diet drinks, pills, etc., that produce unbelievable results and some even offer free shipping or the product is free and you just pay $95 for shipping and handling for a 30 day supply. But, I figure why over do it, right?
The way I worked it out for my size and given the weight that is going to fall right off me, I should be able to lose almost my entire body weight and become virtually invisible in just a few days. Oh boy, will that be fun! Invisible… only one problem, I’ll have to run around in the shower just to get wet.
So, I’m not eating anything except for these incredible diet pills, milkshakes and powders…what could go wrong? Good luck with your new and improved diet milkshake program and multi-level-marketing. scam, er scheme, maybe I’ll try it after I am done with these unbelievable methods. Love… ”