by Jack Lee
For those of you not able to spend a lot of time reading the morning news, here’s your CONSOLIDATED NEWS OF THE DAY:
We’re approaching the 137th hour of continuous beach volley in the Olympics…I quit watching after the 2nd hour, I only lasted that long because the girls were in bikini’s.
Georgians are declaring the hard fought war is going well against Rusky invaders. Bands of drunken American militiamen said they’ve only taken light casualties while shooting down a number of small planes and disrupting enemy convoys on the interstate. News has been slow to reach the combatants…”it’s NOT that Georgia”, so the panic and confusion continues.
Inflation has risen to its highest levels in 18 years. Meanwhile home repo’s are up 184% over this time last year. California’s legislature remains in gridlock over the budget thanks to a deficit of about $15 billion. California, Nevada and Florida are now the top 3 repo states.
In Northern California forest fires are coming to an end as the last 1.5 acres of public land still not burned is about to go up in flames.
Al Gore gave yet another speech about the planet or something.
The latest government study has shown government has been penalizing people for working (high taxes) and paying people for not working. The conclusion was this is possibly affecting our economy and our overall productivity. Democrats dismissed the study as completely flawed.
This is all good news for those of you who have been forecasting the immanent collapse of life as we know it in California. And that is your consolidated NEWS….now please get to work, we need your tax revenues!