The Medical Appointment

Posted by Jack

Medical Appointment

I visited a physician last week who was quite enthusiastic. It was a “new” doctor in the practice, a young lady ( at MY age, EVERYBODY is “young”! When I was born, the Dead Sea wasn’t even sick! )

She was obviously a liberal by her dress and manner. I was thinking of hitting on her, but I don’t like the phrase she used, “You remind me of my grandfather.”

She asked me what was wrong, and I replied, “I have a cut on my leg; and I think it may be getting infected.”

She said, “Before we start, I have to ask you a few questions. Are you allergic to any medications?”

I replied, “No.”

She said, “Do you have any guns in the house?”

I said, “HUH??”

She replied, “Guns. Do you have any guns in the house?”

I asked, “Why?”

She said, “I’ve got to ask this question. It is required under the Affordable Care Act.”

I asked, “What are you going to do with the data?”

She said, “We compile it, amalgamate it, and submit it to the government.”

I said, “Well, I have a Tommy Gun. I let my kid Tommy play with it.”

She said, “What’s a Tommy Gun? I don’t think that is the kind of gun they are concerned with.”

With THAT, I knew I had a live one. I said, “It’s similar to a B.A.R., but a little heavier and shorter. I have a B.A.R. also.”

She said, “A B.A.R.?”

I said, “Yes.”

She looked puzzled. Then she brightened up and asked, “Do you have any assault rifles?”

I attempted to look puzzled, and said , “I don’t know. What is an assault rifle?”

She said, “That’s a gun that is used in wars.”

I said, “As a matter of fact, I do I have a replica of a Revolutionary War musket.”

She began to look a bit exasperated. I pretended not to notice and kept up the appearance of trying to be helpful.

She said, “Do you have anything more modern than that?”

I replied, “Well, yes I do. I have a replica muzzle loader from the Civil War. Do you know the difference between a musket and a muzzle loader?”

She rather peevishly said, “No, I don’t; and I don’t want to. What else do you have?”

I said, “I have an M-1.”

She asked, “What’s that?”

I said, “A rifle.”

She asked, “What kind?”

I replied, “It is called a Garand.”

She rather loudly said, “I don’t care if it is a grand rifle or not. Is it an assault rifle?”

To which I replied, “I don’t know. I don’t know what an assault rifle is. You say it’s a rifle used in war, yet you say that my musket and muzzle loader are not assault rifles.”

She calmed down (a bit) and asked, “Anything else?”

I said, “I have an MG-.30, and an MG-.50. I’m also part owner of an Apache. But they are not rifles.”

She stated, “Well, then, I’m not interested in them. Anything else.”

I replied, “Well, yes. I also have a 12-gauge and a 20-gauge pump. They are not rifled though.”
She said, “I’m not interested in pumps; I’m interested in guns.”

I replied, “Well, then, I have a Colt, a Luger, a Glock, a bazooka, a Parabellum, a Kalishnikov, a Henry, an Uzi, a Llama, and a Beretta–but they are not rifles.”

She then said, “I’ve had enough of this. I think you’re toying with me. Let me see your leg.”

I then said, “Excuse me, but before you look at my leg, I have a few questions to ask of you.”

She replied, “Of course. What are they?”

I said, “I have given you a lot of information about my guns. I am somewhat concerned about your knowledge and ability to assimilate, make coherent sense of that information, and report it correctly. Do you know the difference between a .22 caliber and a .223 caliber? It’s a rather fundamental difference.”

She replied, “Actually, I don’t.”

I said, “I see. Let me ask some more relevant questions. “How much money do you make?”

She said, “That’s personal, why do you ask?”

I said, “Well, in pushing the Health Care Act, my president cautioned the population about doctors that would amputate a leg rather than treat a cut because they make more money that way. Consequently, I wish to know if you are financially troubled. What kind of car do you drive? What are your house payments? How much is your mortgage? How much credit card debt do you have? Do you have a student loan; if so, how much?”

She said, “I’m not going to answer those questions. You have no right to ask them.”

I then asked, “Do you have training and education in homeopathic techniques? Do you know the benefits/effects of CoQ10, ginseng, fish oil, Creatine, BCAA, and other such herbal treatments?” Do you know the difference between Panax ginseng, American ginseng, and Siberian ginseng?”

She replied, “Well, No!”

I then asked, “Well, have you studied it at all?”

She replied rather defensively, “NO; it’s all a bunch of hogwash anyway!”

I said, “Oh, then you have read the research on it. What have you read?”

She then said, “I don’t waste my time reading such things. Why are you asking me these questions?”

I said, “Well, if I’m going to turn my body over to you for treatment, I believe it is reasonable for me to know something about your motivation, training, experience, and competence. Do you know anything about the practice of holistic medicine?”

She said, rather angrily “No, I don’t!”

I said, “Oh. O.K. How much experience do you have in practicing medicine?”

She replied, “Well, not very much.”

To which I said, “Well, we all have to start somewhere. What medical school did you go to; what is its rank in terms of other medical schools; where did you intern; and where did you do your residency? What is the rank of the hospital where you did your internship and residency?”

She rather peevishly said, “All my credentials are posted in the waiting room.”

To which I said, “Really? The rank of your medical school is posted in the waiting room? Do you have any experience with leg injuries? If so, how much?”

I guess that was too much for her. She rather crossly said, “I think it would be best if you saw a different doctor.” …and started to leave the room.

I said, “You know, doctor. You asked me irrelevant questions about my guns, and I answered them. Whether or not I own guns is really none of your business and has absolutely nothing to do with any treatment you might prescribe. On the other hand, I ask you questions quite relevant to my situation, and you refuse to answer them. Isn’t that somewhat backwards?”

She said, “But I HAVE to ask those questions. It’s the law.”

To which I replied, “Actually, it is NOT the law. Here is what the law says–taken directly from the Affordable Care Act:”

(1) WELLNESS AND PREVENTION PROGRAMS. —A wellness and health promotion activity implemented under subsection (a) (1) (D) may not require the disclosure or collection of any information elating to:

(A) the presence or storage of a lawfully-possessed firearm or ammunition in the residence or on the property of an individual; or

(B) the lawful use, possession, or storage of a firearm or ammunition by an individual.

(2) LIMITATION ON DATA COLLECTION . —None of the authorities provided to the Secretary under the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act or an amendment made by that act shall be construed to authorize or may be used for the collection of any information relating to-

(A) the lawful ownership or possession of a firearm or ammunition;

(B) the lawful use of a firearm or ammunition; or

(C) the lawful storage of a firearm or ammunition.

You may verify this at: http://housedocs.house.gov/energycommerce/ppacacon.pdf and http://wizbangblog.com/2013/01/10/obamacare-amendment-does-not-forbid-gun-and-ammo-registration/ .”

“As you can see, you have broken federal law TWICE–once by asking, and once by collecting data.

It is perfectly legal for me to own guns; it is NOT legal for you to ask and/or collect such data.

YOU are breaking the law, and yet YOU are the one that is angry.

Not only that, but you erroneously stated that you must ask such questions, and you did it in a very authoritative and convincing manner.

You gave me false information, which I then acted upon by answering your questions.

On that basis, how can I be expected to trust your medical judgment?

When I attempted to ascertain your medical competency, you became defensive and hostile.”

“There is really no need for me to see another doctor in this practice. I’ll go somewhere else, where my privacy is respected, and I can trust the information I receive.”

Semper Fidelis,

Marty

U. S. Marine Corps, Retired

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5 Responses to The Medical Appointment

  1. Chris says:

    The question is, where did this doctor get the crazy idea that the ACA required her to ask about gun ownership?

    Hmm, maybe from this guy:

    “So now doctors are being ordered, instructed to talk to patients and get information from them about gun ownership, where they are in their house, who has access to them, where the ammunition is kept. Doctors are now, quote, unquote, “permitted,” unquote, to do this. It makes ’em deputies, agents of the state. And if they don’t do it — let’s look at this the other way around. Let’s say patient X goes to a doctor. The patient’s got a sore throat, runny nose. The doctor does not ask the patient anything to do with the patient’s guns. The patient then goes out and uses the guns sometime later and then the regime learns that the doctor didn’t report that this patient indicated that he might be dangerous.

    Look at the position this puts the doctors in. The doctors are now under the thumb of Obamacare. They had better comply. This is not a choice. Can you say hello to rapidly increasing, even higher and faster, malpractice insurance? They’d better comply. They’d better do as they’re told. Now, this release from the White House also says, “Some have incorrectly claimed that language in the Affordable Care Act prohibits doctors from asking their patients about guns and gun safety.”

    But that’s not true. Obamacare does not prevent them. In fact, the executive action today is almost essentially requiring it.”

    –Rush Limbaugh

    http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2013/01/16/regime_deputizes_gun_snitch_doctors

    • Post Scripts says:

      The President’s plan to reduce gun violence declares that the United States should:

      ■Clarify that no federal law prevents health care providers from warning law enforcement authorities about threats of violence: Doctors and other mental health professionals play an important role in protecting the safety of their patients and the broader community by reporting direct and credible threats of violence to the authorities. But there is public confusion about whether federal law prohibits such reports about threats of violence. The Department of Health and Human Services is issuing a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits these reports in any way.
      ■Protect the rights of health care providers to talk to their patients about gun safety: Doctors and other health care providers also need to be able to ask about firearms in their patients’ homes and safe storage of those firearms, especially if their patients show signs of certain mental illnesses or if they have a young child or mentally ill family member at home. Some have incorrectly claimed that language in the Affordable Care Act prohibits doctors from asking their patients about guns and gun safety. Medical groups also continue to fight against state laws attempting to ban doctors from asking these questions. The Administration will issue guidance clarifying that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit or otherwise regulate communication between doctors and patients, including about firearms.

      The firearms provision of the Affordable Care Act is found in Title X, section 2717, subsection C: Protection of Second Amendment Gun Rights. It says that doctors cannot require anyone to disclose ownership of a firearm and it restricts insurance companies and the government from collecting or storing data on various aspects of gun ownership by individuals.

      Some had assumed this provision meant doctors could not ask a patient anything about firearm ownership as part of a health assessment. Others interpreted the language to mean that information about gun ownership could not be considered a risk factor for a patient even if the doctor believed that the presence of weapons raised the risk of harm to the patient or others.

      Today’s clarification removes any doubt. The ACA doesn’t block doctors from asking questions about gun ownership as part of a private health risk assessment. Keeping firearms in a home is a significant health risk and doctors should consider it for risk assessments.

  2. Princess says:

    Actually the Affordable Care Act does not require doctors to ask about gun ownership. There is no such mandate for them to ask Medicare patients about gun ownership either. However, I believe that if a patient seems to be suffering from certain medical conditions that question is asked to prevent the patient from harming themselves or others.

  3. Libby says:

    Marty needs to go back to work.

  4. Libby says:

    The other thing is … I don’t know where Marty lives, but here in California we already have lovely intrusive laws requiring healthcare workers, particularly psychiatric ones, to take an interest.

    Did you know that, if you get yourself 5150’d, and are silly enough to tell the social worker that you’ve got a gun in the house, you will not be released until the gun has been turned in at the cop house.

    So there.

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