Mandatory Rules for Thanksgiving 2020 by Order of the State of California

by Jack

  1.  Do not exceed more than 6 guests.
  2. Request guests bring their own utensils.
  3.  Use paper plates.
  4.  For indoor gatherings, keep your Covid’s mask on at all times.
  5.  Masks may be briefly removed for eating or drinking, but only for 10 seconds at a time.
  6.  Disinfect guests on arrival using a using 1 oz. of mild dishwashing soap per 1 gallon of water, mix in a manual garden sprayer or a power paint sprayer for application.
  7.  Immediately after disinfecting cover the subject in a large garbage bag for 30 minutes. Tip, make small eye holes in the bag first.
  8.  Use number 20 size brown paper bags over guest’s shoes to prevent the virus from contacting carpet or flooring.
  9.   Do not sing, yell, or talk loudly.
  10.   Limit your visitor time to 45 minutes.
  11.  Disinfect door handles as guests exit.
  12.   Shampoo carpet or flooring with hot water, over 120 degrees F.
  13.   If guests use your bathroom, turn on the shower and use a hot setting until the bathroom is steaming hot and dripping hot water for at least 15 minutes.
  14.  Curfew time for Thanksgiving is 1300 hours until 1445 hours, plan your trip accordingly.
  15.  Report any rules breach to the Office of Covid Rule Enforcement, 1-800-Ima idiot.
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3 Responses to Mandatory Rules for Thanksgiving 2020 by Order of the State of California

  1. cherokee jack says:

    Forget all that. I’m inviting Gavin and Dianne to dinner.

  2. Peggy says:

    Most sheriffs and police depts. statewide have already announced they will not enforce Newsome’s mandates.

  3. J. Soden says:

    Were I in Taxifornia for this year’s Holiday Season, I think a NewSCUM effigy hung in the front yard would be very appropriate!

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