In Hindsight: The fine art of persuasion

Carrot souffle with an oatmeal cookie crust. If you let it bake for 1 hour, the top will caramelize!

They say that when you get married, you discover strengths you never knew about the other person. I discovered my husband is waaaaay better at negotiating for what he wants than I am.

How I persuade

On dinner break at my work this week, I told my husband we were out of bread (in a Swedish household this occurrence is almost tantamount to sacrilege). He agreed to go grab a loaf from Trader Joe’s.

Throughout the rest of my work day, I envisioned my midnight/afterwork snack: toasted pieces of artisanal bread with a thick layer of creamy avocado on it, sprinkled with a little garlic salt and topped with a generous helping of shredded pepper jack cheese (try it, you won’t be sorry).

I was salivating as soon as I stepped through my door. But lo and behold—there was no bread to be found!

I stood in the kitchen and called out peremptorily: “Baby!” It was close to 1 a.m.

Bjorn came stumbling out to the kitchen. “Baby, where is the bread,” I said with reproachful eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby, I forgot,” he said. He came over and put his arms around me. I stood my ground.

“Ah, the righteous non-hug,” he said. “Now I know I”m in trouble.”

He offered to go to Safeway, which is open 24-hours, to buy bread. I was mollified, and a bit remorseful as it was the middle of the night and he wakes up at 6 a.m. to go to work.

“It’s OK, baby, I’ll just go get the bread,” I said, trying to be the good person, as I watched him splash cold water on his face to wake himself up.

“OK, thanks, baby,” he replied, a little too quickly.

Remorse also quickly fled. “Wait, what? You really are going to let me go to the supermarket by myself?” Good person be damned.

So off we went at 2 a.m. to buy bread. My victory was tainted though, by the guilt I felt and the creeping suspicion that I am a terrible person until fed.

How Bjorn persuades
Later on this same week, once again at dinner, I asked Bjorn, “What do you want to eat for dinner tomorrow?”

He said, “Let’s eat carrot souffle!”

Carrot souffle requires A LOT of work. First, you have to peel and wash 14 large carrots, chop them into small chunks and boil them for an hour. Then you have to mash them (I put them in a blender, but it requires cooling the carrots). After adding the other ingredients (which include a lot of butter and sugar —this is a very tasty dish), it bakes for an hour. With prep and baking time, you’re looking at a good 2 hours, at least.

I immediately started hemming and hawing, complaining about how much I had to do and how much work it was to prepare that dish.

“It is a lot of work,” Bjorn agreed. “And you’re really busy. Why don’t I bring us dinner tomorrow?”

And that is what this kind man did the next day. Brought me a tasty dinner, made me laugh for an hour, and not once mentioned the making of carrot souffle.

So you know what I did? I peeled and washed those carrots, boiled and baked them that very night. Three hours later, we had a piping-hot carrot souffle on a thin and crispy oatmeal cookie crust.

There is no defense against kindness. And it tastes delicious, too.